Who's Who in Bert's World

Main Characters.

Human name: Bert Hartgen.

Full name: Bertalius Alfardan.

Born London, UK, may 4 1979.
Attended Shana-Sherin Academy, Ireland, 1992 - 2009.
Works for Brian Hartgen and his wife Lulu, better known to Bert as L.
Often mistaken for a cute toddler when he is out with his employers with a cap on to cover his tell tale pointy ears, Bert's life revolves around his job and his huge family which lives in a leprechaun colony in London's east end. Bert's character has matured with time. He started out as what was described as a grown-up child, and that still surfaces, but life has knocked him about a little these past years, he knows about love, loss and responsibility that cannot be shirked, but his mercurial and ever optemistic nature can never be crushed. Bert is mostly very mature, responsible and clever, he is very learned in the strict leprechaun code by which all leps must live and in the ways of the helping hand which is what leps call their magic. Bert is loving, gentle and kind, has a great sense of fun and a cheeky giggle which makes him extremely lovable. However he is easily upset, cries as readily as he laughs, has been known to throw tantrums, get into sulks and is sometimes rather a handful. He is close friends with Brian, they have a strong working partnership. He has a very strong bond with L, they have a mutual need for each other, she is very reliant on him in lots of ways adn he relies on him for advice and emotional support when he needs it. Bert has an adopted daugher, Cassie, and a son, Toby.

Tealy, Bert's ex wife.

Nothing is known about Tealy's origins and family. She lived in an Elfhold in London and had a very secret and high-powered job. Beautiful, blonde and glamourous, Tealy was once the ditsy girlfriend of Bert's elfin drinking partner and best friend Hinky. When Hinky got a job back in the US from which he haled, Tealy was unceremoniously dumped. Bert resisted all Tealy's efforts to get near him at first but in the end her caring personality, the unstinting help she gave to his family in hard times and the way she grew and changed from the empty headed creature she was into a seemingly very winning little person all won his heart and Bert fell in love with her, marrying her in 2013. Unfortunately, Tealy became furiously jealous, both of the time Bert spent doing his job and of L, and became deeply involved in elfin human espionage which nearly killed Bert. When Bert found out she had been using her strong elf magic to turn him against his human employers he asked her to leave and dissolved the marriage. He later discovered that she had been pregnant, and that she had been cheating on him with the elf that had plotted harm to his humans.

Bert's Family.

Alfard Alfardan: Bert's father, A lep of few words, but wise under the gruff exterior and fiercely proud of his son.

LillyBella davona: Bert's Mother. Having borne and raised thirty children, including three sets of twins, she is a lep who values family above everything else. Although a stalwart homemaker, she is a worrier, and does tend to become agitated and upset if there is ever any family drama, which there usually is.

Bartle Alfardan: Eldest son of Alfard and LilyBella, patriarch elect, Bert's much disliked eldest brother. Described by Bert as a pompous, petty-minded, cold-hearted lep engrossed in his work, with a wife who is frightened of him and leplings who do not love him. Bartle went into WillSleep during the Green blight Epidemic of 2012 from which he only partially recovered and is now an invalid. He can no longer do his work as colony advocate and has had to forfeit control of his cube and family.

Minnimarni Robbikna: wife of Bartle Alfardan, mother of sixteen leplings. Described by Bert as being frightened of her husband and never usually saying boo to a gozzling, never mind a goose, Minnimarni is now in charge of the marital home and cares for her invalid husband and family having shown amazing strength of character.

Andelaine Bartlena: Bartle and Minnimarni's daughter, her mother's pet, married happily. Fiercely loyal to her mother and siblings and a special favourite of her Uncle Bert's.

Gordus garusan: Married to Andelaine, loves gardening, hot-headed and impetuous, cannot bear his father-in-law. Bartle detests him because his, Gordy's father once caused him to lose an important case.

Nile Alfardan: one of Bert's brothers. He is married, with 14 leplings, and the family live in the country. This is unusual because when a lep marries, his wife leaves her home and moves to her husband's colony, or place of residence. But Nile's wife hated the city, loved the country and did not want to leave, so Nile went against custom and moved to be with her. Nile has a weak stomach and a nervous disposition, and one rather gets the impression that the tail wags the dog in that household.

Marganetta Kendusna: Wife of Nile, mother of fourteen, does not like the city, and does not get on very well with Bert's Mum.

Barbriella Nilena: Nile and Netta's daughter, a book swat like Bert, who is training at Shana-Sherin, after which she will be released into our world , and posted to work alongside a human.

Tommorani alfardan: one year older than Bert, his most troublesome brother. Always fighting, he used to have a humdrum job for the colony council until he got into one fight too many, attempted to hit top brass, and is now in the lockholes. Tommo detests Bert for being a book swat, Bert detests Tommo for being a yob, and for what he is doing to his family by his wild behaviour. Married to Mig, with eleven leplings, the marriage was dissolved in 2012 at Mig's request.

MiggyMeg morvyna: once married to Tommo, mother of eleven, described by Bert as downtrodden and mousey, she moved back to her native Scottland after the dissolution, taking her younger children, set up home on a Scottish croft and became a force to be reckoned with. She does not have any time for her son Ikey's much older wife.

Ikeus Tommoranian:

Eldest son of Tommo and Mig. Did not want to move back to Scotland with his Mother, so applied for permission to set up his own cube, and undertook to look after any of the older lings who wished to stay behind. This was all very well, but he also communicated with his Father, letting him know that his Mother was planning to depart, a fact which she had wished to keep quiet. Ikey is now married, a father of twins, and has had his eyes opened in the most brutal way about his own father. he has steadied down a lot in the past years with more than a little help from Bert. He passionately loves his wife and family, but there is still a little of his father in him. He can be over independent and too impetuous at times.

Veriana alexina.

For years remaining unmarried and the butt of cruel jokes, nicknamed old bossy for obvious reasons, Veriana, or Vee as she is now called, devoted her life to helping the poor families of the colony. Then one day Ikey turned up with a bunch of earwiggy flowers and asked her to marry him. According to Bert she hit him on the head with a saucepan and chased him down the thoroughfare but luckily she thought better of it and the rest is history. Ikey and Vee have helped each other and are very much in love. In 2013, Vee nearly died while giving birth to her twins, Bertalius and TealyBella. Her life was saved by Bert and Tealy, with help from the helping hand.

Leorto alfardan, and Lialani Alfardna:

Bert's twin brother and sister, they grew up very close, and were always interested in Ireland. When they were of age, they applied for permission to return to "The old Country", and were accepted. They now have a farm of their own, they live there alone accept for their animals, happy in each other's company, needing neither spouse nor lepling, for they are happy to have each other.

Gwenice Alfardna: A yeear younger than Bert, he and this studious sister were once friends, and worked and learned together. Gwenice passionately wished to be accepted into Shana-Sherin, but she was not chosen. She went instead into healing. She wanted to be received at the Healing Gardens in Ireland, but she was not good enough for that either and was given a job at a colony in Norfolk where she served some years before being asked to leave to make way for someone younger. This caused a form of breakdown, her parents and family closed ranks, sobered her up and helped her through it. She now serves as colony healer.

Amarella Alfardna: Bert's favourite sister. Married to Derry . Mother of five lings, Mella's dearest wish is for a large family but circumstances would seem to have conspired to prevent this from happening. Relations became strained between Mella and Bert for a time because of Mella's racial predjudice. She strongly disapproved of his growing closeness to Tealy and it took a while before things got back to normal.

Derrywood Fillipan: Husband of Mella, father of five, solid and steady, Bert gets on very well with him. Seems to be very good with technology.

Tulia Alfardna: Bert's number ten sister, as he has told us. Married to Shay, mother of seven, including Pattianne. born on the dawn of Saint Patrick. She is bitter, unhappy and a dedicated trouble maker. She was instrumental in trying to get Bert's adopted daughter cassie removed from the colony in 2013.

Shayo Alburgan: husband of Tulia, father of seven, steady and hard-working, he did not know about Tulia's maccinations, when he found out he was very angry, smashing her phone and the family computer with a sledge hammer. He has recently left the family home and set up home elsewhere.

Pattianne Shayona: Tuli and Shay's baby daughter, born on the dawn of Saint Patrick's day 2012, a very good omen, when she was named, she seemd to have a rare affinity with the Helping Hand. A very special youngling.

Tovius Alfardan: A favourite brother of Bert's, a few years younger than he, married to Bert's childhood sweetheart. Father of a large family, number unspecified. Works as a forager, is very good at it. Likes to talk on Skype. Described by Bert as the salt of the earth, Tovey handles his complicated homelife with outward ease and stares down anyone who dares to say a word about it.

Aprilina Nicona: Married to Tovey, used to be very fond of Bert when they were leplings at school, has a family, number unspecified. She and Bert's youngest sister Laralita were drawn together by circumstances during 2012. When Bert saw friendship turning into something else he was horrified. It took a few hard knocks and hard words before he learned not to be judgmental or meddle in other people's lives. When Laralita lost her husband and young baby during Willsleep Tovey and Aprilina took her to their cube to help her get back on her feet.

Laralita Alfardna: Bert's very youngest sister, she had a very difficult year in 2012, first losing her delicate little son, then also losing her husband and infant daughter during WillSleep. Lita was in a very fragile state, helped by the love of Lina and the care of Tovey, she has made a full recovery and now lives happily with Tovey, Lina and their family.

Kasimalcus Alfardan: Bert's brother, quiet, unassuming, one of the watchers, equivalent of the police, he surprised everyone and caused a family uproar by marrying a woodsprite. Kas is quietly proud of his wife's gifts of healing and second sight and they are a very happy couple.

Korielle: woodsprite wife of Kas, she is a gifted healer, more gifted than Gwenice under whom she serves. She might have been made colony healer when the old one died but Kori is a diplomat and knew that being colony healer was what Gwenice needed so she said that a lep colony needed a lep healer and that she would go on working as assistant. Gifted with much more magic than the leps, Kori often has flashes of second sight which Bert has been known to find disconcerting in their accuracy.

Arfonius Roccoran: Bert's Uncle Arf, described by him as a character. Uncle Arf had two families, one which he had raised, and one which he went on raising until he left for high country in 2017. He was married to Bert's Aunt Junie for years. When Aunt Junie went to the high country, and Uncle Arf having mourned for a year as you do, according to Bert, Uncle Arf married a fem of sixteen, and became a father of fourteen, and they were happy as larks! Bert loved visiting them and took a particular interest in their twin daughters, Gemmalinda and Jewelandra. Bert loved his Uncle and misses him very much.

Kittenella Filiusna: Bert's Aunt Kitty, she was married to Uncle Arf, mother of fourteen including the young twins Gem and Jewel. Bert describes her as a happy home maker who minds her cube, looked after Uncle Arf and popped a ling every year. He helped her a lot after Uncle Arf left for high country.

Liella Tomoranina: Second lepling of Tommo and Mig, Ikey's inept younger sister, who tried, rather unsuccessfully, to help look after those who stayed in London after their Mother moved back to Scotland.

Other Characters.

The Holder of the Hand: a kind of high priestess, who officiates at ceremonies, and who was also at Bert's disciplinary hearing in 2012. She alone can call forth the colony's Helping Hand from its box, and she may touch it when permitted. She was two hundred and fifty three years old when Bert's journal began, had served as a Hander for one hundred and eighty of them, is a tiny, wrinkled white-haired lep fem with silver white hair and amazing sapphire blue eyes. Bert has a great regard for her.

Professor Delian: the head of Shana-Sherrin, he and Bert crossed figurative swords many times and came to detest each other. He was sent to Bert's hearing. Cold, hard, unreasonable and sarcastic, if the matter had rested with him, Bert would have been sent to the lockholes. Professor Delian has recently retired and been replaced as head of Shana-Sherin by Professor Lunaria, about whom not much is known yet, except that she wishes to change and modernise many things.

Madam Lynnara: head of all houses at Shana-Sherrin. She looks out for the wellfare of students, past and present, and is a stately, exalted, but kindly person. She approved Bert as one of Babsy's mentors.

Madam Moraine: the head of Linden, Bert's old house and Barbriella or Babsy's house at Shana-Sherin, she also knew Bert when he was there. She has been described by young Babsy as an old mule, a statement with which Bert agrees. She brought Babsy to her cousin's naming ceremony, which was a great surprise to her parents.