About Bert

Who Is This Bert Person?

Hello! Thanks so much for checking out my website. Whether you've known me for years or you're a new friend, it's lovely to see you here. Please do feel free to have a good look around. For anyone who doesn't know much about me, here's where I'll tell you the basic facts.

My name's Bert, and I'm a real, live, working Leprechaun, right up to my pointy ears! Now when you hear the word Leprechaun, what do you think of? A little man in a green hat? A broad Irish accent? Someone who showers you with gold, says: "Top o' the mornin'!" one minute and starts a fight with you the next? Well, you're not alone if any of those is right. Most people think of leprechauns, or leps as we say for short, that way, but I'm going to have to ruin all your preconceptions. We're not in the least like that!

For one thing, I was born in London. All of us leps have Irish in our blood, and the elite of the Leprechaun world do live in the old country, Ireland of course, but there are leprechauns everywhere. You might think that Bert is an odd name for a magical creature, but if you go on reading about me and my family, you'll find that a lot of Leprechine names have their own unusual sound, and when they're shortened they sound much more like a human name. My full name is Bertalius Alfardan. Bertalius being my first name, and Alfardan being what humans would call a patronymic, meaning literally, "The son of Alfard." You can find out more about my family here.

Well, before we get hopelessly bogged down in leprechine words and dry stuff, a bit more about me. There will be pictures of me around this site, but for anyone who would prefer a word description, I stand thirty-two inches high, about the size of a human toddler of about two years old or a little less. With a cap or hat on I can easily pass for human, which is very useful indeed. I'm sturdily built, have a round face which my employer's wife calls cheeky, big green eyes and thick, curly golden blonde hair which refuses to do anything but grow in a mop of corkscrews. The thing that really sets me apart is my ears, which are very differently shaped than a human's, they sweep up to little points at the top. They actually used to be quite a bit taller than they are now, but I recently had problems with them, as some leps sometimes do, and had to have an operation which reduced the size of them. This means that sometimes I can even risk going outside without a hat, it's risky though, I'm always happier being safe than sorry. I have a real weakness for designer clothes and always like to look smart. The kind people I work for spoil me a lot.

Talking of work, I do something rather special in that department. Most of us leps go all our lives never seeing a human being. We live in colonies or smaller family groups, foraging for food, salvaging the materials we need to build our houses, just getting on as best we can. But I always wanted more, and I worked hard to learn about the helping hand, that's our form of magic, and the leprechaun code, the strict rules by which we live. When I was thirteen I went away to Shana-Sherin, a special academy in Ireland where a group of specially selected leps study cooking, housekeeping, human history, information technology and a whole host of other subjects which fits them to work with humans. I was there, as all Shana-Sherin leps are, for seventeen years, till my thirtieth birthday. Then I was posted to Merseyside in the Northwest of England to work with Brian, and I've been with him ever since. The rest is history, as they say. I now live with him and his wife Lulu, L as I call her for short, in a place we call the lair, or the bear’s lair in south Wales. It’s only a small flat, but it’s big enough for us, for Bytes, our furry purple pet magical monster that came out of Brian’s computer one fine summer day, and for a certain little imp you'll read about in My Journal I hope. These days I couldn't be happier.

There isn't much else to tell really. Am I married? Not now. I remember reading in one of L's books someone quoting something: "I have locked my heart in a silver box and pinned it with a golden pin.". That just about describes it. I have a lot now, loving friends, my wonderful close family, my beautiful Cassie, my little adopted foundling daughter, you'll have to do a little exploring to find out about her, and a lot more besides. I'm determined to keep my heart out of trouble, it's taken enough battering for a lifetime. My days are too full of work, friendship, adventures and laughter to think about it.

Nice to Tweet You

If you enjoy this site and would like to get in touch, or just want to keep up with my doings, perhaps you would like to follow me on Twitter. The user name is @BertTheLep. I do not tweet as often as I would like to, but I would love to tweet you there!

You can also friend me on Facebook.
You'll also be able to Watch me and my Family on Youtube!

Thanks for taking the time to read my page!