Grownup Talk.

Dear Toby,

Well, haven't you been a little zlerf today, big eyes? My stars, Brian and L said I'd have an easy day, but between you and, well, someone else, I've had my hands full, although to be fair L's taking care of the someone else, it's just that with her doing that, I have to look after that horrible Alfie the barbarian, and he's more than I can manage on my own, Lacey has to help me with him. And you weren't your usual quiet, sweet self today, you had a real attack of the grumps! Never mind, you're asleep now. I should be asleep myself, only L is having one of her bad nights, so I'm up with her. She's watching a film and is ok as long as I sit close to her, so I can use my iPad to go on with the story I had to leave off yesterday.

Well, as soon as I'd finished talking to Bytes last Sunday I bolted straight out of my closet like a bullet and ran next door. Brian and L were doing their usual quiet things. L listening to something and Brian dozing through a book as he often does in the evenings after a busy day. The bang of the door opening and my excited voice startled them both.

"Brian! L!" I yipped. "Bytes says he may be able to think Dad better. Can you believe it?"

There was a moment's stunned silence. Then L stood up and scooped me up into her arms and sat down with me on her lap. "Really? Oh darling, that's wonderful," she said, "But it's one heck of a huge think. Is he sure?"

"No, he isn't sure," I said, "It is a big think and we can't use the phone. But he says maybe he can, he's willing to try, and at this stage we have nothing to lose. If you could have seen him today, L. He's gone down even since last week."

"Wait just one minute, Bert," Brian sounded serious. "You say Bytes can't do it using the Facetime video link? But that means ..."

"Oh no!" L was dismayed. "You can't take him back into the colony again Bert! Think what could happen! It's not safe!"

"You don't have to tell me that!" I said huffily, "Don't you think I know? I tried to explain that to Bytes, but he just brushed it off. He says they wouldn't catch him."

"Yes," said Brian, "But maybe he doesn't understand exactly how dangerous it is. Look, Bert, I know you don't want to scare him, he is only a baby after all, but he's growing up fast, and if he really is going to risk this, we've got to at least try to impress on him exactly what he's doing and what might happen. Go and bring him in here would you please?"

When Brian says "please" in that way, you don't argue. I went next door and found Bytes contentedly dozing on the sofa. When I told him Brian and L wanted to see him he cranked, but got up obediently and pattered after me into the den. L had her iPad in her hand. She patted the sofa beside her. Bytes, with a thoroughly martyred sigh, jumped up into the place she was offering. I took my former seat on L's lap and Brian came to sit on the other end of the sofa near us.

"Now," said Brian, "We need to talk to Bytes about something very serious and grown up. Could Bytes please go into the iPad?"

There was a shimmer as Bytes morphed out of existance. The next moment, his picture was covering all the icons on L's home screen.

"He's there," I said. Bytes's loopy writing began to scrawl across the bottom of the screen, beneath his smaller picture. "Bytes listen grownup talk."

"Ok." said Brian. "Bytes told Bert that Bytes can maybe think Bert's Dad better, but can't use the phone."

The picture nodded. I relaid this to Brian and L.

"Does Bytes know why he does thinks over phone now, not in colony?" asked brian.

A big question mark.

"Bert home." I amended. Bytes scribbled very fast.

"bad leps want use bytes for thinks all time not to let bytes stay with bert, stay bert home all time nonononono." then came the emoticon for anguished face.

"Bytes, it's all right, don't be frightened." That was L. "We won't let that happen to you. But Bytes must try to understand. If Bytes goes into Bert home to do this good thing for Bert's Dad, they could try to take Bytes away."

Another anguished face.

"Bytes listen." I said. "Bert loves his dad, but he doesn't ever want anyone to do bad things to his best friend. Not ever. Bytes doesn't have to do this. Understand?"

There was a short pause while Bytes digested this, then the writing began again, slow and hesitant, as if Bytes was thinking very hard.

"If Bytes not do, Bert Da shut down. Right?"

I had to think for a minute. I couldn't remember ever having such a long conversation with Bytes before. Usually a few words, or maybe a sentence, that was enough for him. But even though his way of expressing himself was still primitive, his thought processes were not. I hesitated to answer, but facts were facts.

"yes." I said. Bytes knew nothing about high country. If someone wasn't there anymore forever, they had been switched off like a phone or computer. Shut down. There was an even longer pause, while the larger sized picture looked at us all in turn, then the huge, pink eyes locked on to mine. I wondered what thoughts were going through that furry purple head.

At last, the picture popped back to the small size again, and three words appeared, before there was a shimmer, and the real, live, warm Bytes was back beside us on the sofa, and had slipped his warm but weard hand, with its USB port and jack plug fingers into mine. I tried to hold back the tears of love and gratitude which had filled my eyes. I looked again at the screen. Bytes had written:

"We go now?"

"No, certainly not now, you ridiculous purple furball!" I sniffled. "we've got to plan. Nobody must know Bytes is in the colony, or we'll have trouble in two minutes flat. Go on now, Bytes can go back next door, leave this to us."

Bytes pattered off, taking the iPad with him, already munching happily.

Stars, I was busy for the rest of the evening. If I reported faithfully the time it took, the things I had to say, the number of times I had to say no, I wasn't kidding, yes, it might work, no, it wasn't safe, yes, we needed a plan, to so many of the family, we'd be here till this time tomorrow. Luckily I didn't have to call them all indevidually, thank the stars. I talked to Gwen first. I decided to talk to her because, rightly or wrongly, I didn't want Mum involved with this until the last minute. Mum is the purest of pure gold fems, but she is a drama queen, and telling her a secret is useless. I might just as well tell the colony cryer. Now Gwen is staunch and sensible, she knows how to keep a severely buttoned lip. I knew she could get done exactly what I needed with the minimum of fuss and without anyone hearing who wasn't meant to.

And so it came to pass that, about an hour after I'd made the first call to Gwenice, it was about half-past nine in the evening by this time, I was talking to a big group of the most trusted members of my family on Facetime. There were Tovey, Lina and Lita, Mella and Derry, Gwen of course, Kas and Kori, Ikey and vee, and two leps I really hadn't been expecting at all. These were Barney and Bernie. Barnius and Bernalian, to give them their full names, they were my eldest brother Bartle's two eldest sons who had left home as soon as they could get away and joined the crack soldier guards. I hadn't seen them for ages, but here they were. Of course, Barty's whole family held themselves to be much in my debt, you know, Tobe, because of your mother helping them out with food after poor Minnie was forced to run away that time, and their awful father locking the little ones up with just bark and pine needles, they'd all have gone to high country if he'd kept that up. And there was other stuff, but I'm not going into all that, any decent lep would have done the same. Anyway, MinnieMarnie, who's the family head since Barty's completely helpless now, has always said anything the family can do for me at any time, I've only to ask. I actually hadn't even thought of it, but two crack soldiers on our side would be a wonderful thing if matters got ugly.

Of course, most of them knew something about Bytes, but for those who only knew some, I explained about all the good work he'd done for the colony, and also about exactly what the danger was. Of course, I didn't actualy know for sure that Milo Arfusan and his cohorts and council toadies were planning on trying to catch Bytes and enslave him, but Tulia's inside knowledge had usually been accurate and we couldn't risk it not being true.

"It seems to me," said Tovey, as I paused for breath, "That we got to get three things done. We got to get the purple thing in an' out wiv out anyone knowing about it. We got to prepare our Mum, so she don't start 'ollerin' and raisin' the neighbours to come and see what all the row's about when or if anything 'appens." I was about to object to this, but Tovey raised a hand and ploughed on. "Look, I know you don't want her told, our Bert, but she'll 'ave to know some, or she'll 'ave a flock of birds as soon as she finds out what's what, she'll scream the place down, and the neighbours'll 'ave their eyes out on stalks, their ears all pointin' in our direction an their jaws flappin' about like Paddy Peggerty's pigeons. Milo's gang would be down on us in 'alf a tick."

I gloomily conceded the point.

"What's the third thing?" I asked.

"We got to be ready for trouble." Tovey's face hardened into an ugly look I'd never seen him wear. "Since that Milo's started gettin' a followin' in the colony, the 'ole thing he bases all 'is popularity on is the fact that this purple thing exists. 'e's related to you, the one 'o's befriended it. He thinks one day you'll stop bein' careful, or there'll be an emergency and you'll 'ave to bring it back to the colony and then they'll be ready. So my guess is, they always 'as someone watchin'. Chances are, for all our precautions, we'll get trouble, an' we got to be ready."

"And that's where we come in," said Barney. "We've worked out a plan."

"That's right," said Tovey. "Now we can't do nothin' till after work finishes. You got work an' so 'ave we. Then we all need to eat a bite an' get ready. So, what I think we should do, is this."

I was absolutely exhausted by the time I got to bed, Tobe! Of course, that Monday was extremely busy. As well as the day babies to help with I had all our packing to organize, we were due to head off on holiday the very next morning. Lacey was like a bottle of pop, she couldn't settle to anything and I well and truly had everything I could do to keep my mind on what I was doing. I had let Jordy in on what was going down that very evening. He whistled long and low.

"My zblertin' holy stars!" he said. "Sounds absolutely keerdlin' awesome! I'll be meetin' you there then."

"What?" I said stupidly.

"Well come on, for zblert's sake!" he chuckled, his leathry old face cracking into a million wrinkles as he laughed, "You're not gonna make me miss all the zblertin' fun? And anyway," more seriously, "If them keerdlers tries any tricks, they'll find I know a few they never heard of. Hey, they'll find I know a few their zblertin' Grannies never heard of!"

Once the day babies left it seemed like forever until I had Lacey bathed and in bed, Brian and L's dinner on the table and everything ready for us to leave.

"Bert," said L as I headed for the closet. "Please take care."

"And Bert," that was Brian. "May the stars shine good fortune on you."

yet again, tears stung my eyes. I couldn't remember ever hearing Brian using a lep blessing like that, even in English. I took one last look around my home, then I picked up Bytes, who was bouncing up and down in the hall, went into my lovely, comfy closet and closed the door.

Yes, yes, I know! But this has gone on long enough, and I will write more tomorrow. L wants me to make a cup of tea and ... oh yes, I thought so. You're crying. So it's your own fault I'm stopping there, big eyes. I love you.

Love always.

Zan. (Dad.)