April 2013

April 28.

Hi everyone.

Holy moon and stars, what a month this is turning out to be! I will be thirty-four in a few weeks but I feel more like three hundred and forty at the moment with most of the weight of the world on my shoulders! Please don’t get me wrong, if I could turn back the clock I would not change a thing, I know if I had decisions to make over again I would make exactly the same choices but oh helping hand! I little knew what mighty ripples in our family pond this tiny little pebble was going to cause. I also have worries closer to home and, oh, I had better start at the beginning. You had better grab a drink and a snack, this might take some time.

Well we will start on Monday, April first. It started out as a perfectly normal day with Babsy’s little pink scroll on my pillow. I reached for it eagerly, wanting to see what she had been up to.

“Dear Uncle Bert.”

“I hope that you are in good health and that the helping hand is serving you well. I am in good health and have received a bad report this week.”

“Uncle it ain’t fair an if that old well I won’t say writes to you I never done nothing. See, I was only showing rollard Tobusan me recipe notes in the small barn an that nasty little zlank Blissa went an told madam Mauraine an she caught us an give me a undred lines an poor old rolly poley got the cane! Uncle I know we isn’t sposed to talk to the boys but he only wanted to see me pineapple cake recipe I wasn’t doing no harm! I hates this place sometimes!”

“May the sun shine on you always and the helping hand preserve you from harm they says I got to write the whole zlenkin lot!”

“Your affectionate niece.”

“Barbriella Nilena.”

I put aside the scroll frowning. However much she protested her innocence young Babsy had committed a serious misdemeanour and she knew quite well that she had. Shana-Sherrin did not want their carefully trained students forming attachments with each other so boys and girls were strictly segregated. Talking to each other at Babsy’s young age got you a severe ticking off, a bad report and lines. Breaking the rules when you were older could get you expelled, they deemed you old enough to know better then. I wrote her back a note, warning her as gently as I could to be more careful. After that I got ready, I had a busy day ahead.

I went into the den to get some breakfast and found I only needed to make coffee for Brian and L. Brian was already busy and L wasn’t well. I made the coffee, had a bit of toast, pottered about, cleaned and tidied things up. I also took the time to do my morning computer check. Nothing much new had developed, everything was still on a quiet simmer you might say. That would not be the case by the evening I thought wryly.

I left for the colony just before ten. Tealy was waiting for me in the bushes. The weather was still freezing cold so I was glad to see Tealy warmly wrapped in her soft blue coat. Beneath it she wore slim-fitting trousers in butter-soft camel suede, very snazzy little matching ankle boots, a kitten soft sweater in dusky greens, greys and a hint of misty blue, scrunchies to match her sweater and delicate silver bangles. She looked gorgeous as usual and my spirits lifted at the sight of her. She gave me the usual kisses on my ears and a very tight, fierce hug.

“We’re making the rounds today, aren’t we?” she asked.

“yes. Mum and Dad will want me to take the naming bowl round to everyone.”

I need to explain about the naming bowl before we go any further. When a naming ceremony is to take place in a family it is the custom for the lepling’s father to make the rounds of his family with the family’s naming bowl full of the best Zair or wine he has. When he enters a cube he invites the occupants to the ceremony and if the invitation is accepted the adults drink a little from the naming bowl. This signifies their acceptance of the new lepling, it’s a wish for its good health, long life and happiness. Every family has a naming bowl, usually a couple gets one for a wedding present. They can be made from all kinds of things, depending on what can be found or foraged. A naming bowl is a precious object, offering it or drinking from it is never taken lightly. Now I was going to visit every single adult member of my family, offer the naming bowl and ask for the acceptance into our family of a foundling orphan who most of them believed to be Zlan-glart. I squared my shoulders. It was going to be a bumpy day.

As soon as we got inside the doors of the colony I could feel Cassie pulling me towards her. I wanted to run to her but there was a huge dead weight of dread pulling me down. I really hated scenes, arguments and unpleasantness and I knew I was going to meet plenty of them that day. We walked down the thoroughfare hand in hand and I noticed both Tealy and I were collecting a battery of venomous stares. People were stopping in mid-conversation to gawk at us. Once we had gone by people were whispering behind their hands. About halfway down I pulled Tealy away from the main way and behind a pile of sacks.

Zaea,” I was trembling. “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m used to being talked about, but not like this. Did you see the way they looked at me? It’s like they absolutely hate me. Most of them don’t even know me!”

Tealy turned to me, her huge aqua eyes full of compassion. She put her arms around my shoulders.

“You don’t have to put yourself through this, Zaeahaan,” she said softly. “Let’s just go and tell Alfard and LilyBella that we want Cassie named quietly, no fuss. Just them, us and the Handholder there. She’ll still have her status and be endowed with the hand. The family will be kept right out of it and there won’t be anymore trouble.”

For a moment relief washed over me as I allowed myself to think of it. No naming bowl, no ceremony, just a quiet little naming in the hold, Cassie.. Cassie hidden, put quietly out of sight, no, that would not do. If I did that, the ugly rumours would only get worse. Bert didn’t even have that poor mite named properly, he thought his family wouldn’t attend, far too ashamed, he wouldn’t dare have a naming ceremony for a zlan-glart. I disengaged myself from Tealy.

“No.” I said. I straightened myself, gave myself a good mental shake. “I don’t care how bad it gets. Mum and Dad are right about this. The whole colony has to see that I don’t have anything to hide. Cassie has to have everything done properly or she will never be able to have any kind of normal life. Come on, Zaea.”

As we got nearer the cube Cassie began to pull me with all her might and I ended up pelting towards her as I usually did. I hurtled through the curtain, scorched towards the crib and stopped short.

Sitting on the table were two naming bowls. One I knew very well, I had seen it dozens of times. If you think of the shape of a human Dutch oven, a deep handled pot with a lid, that is the nearest thing to a naming bowl, except ours are small enough for someone of my size to be able to carry easily when they are full of liquid. My family’s was a good naming bowl, it was made of unglazed but fired earthenware, reddish brown in colour, and very battered with much use. The lid still fitted tight, the handles were plain but strong, it looked warm, serviceable and homely.

Beside it was a bowl of the same size and shape made of gleaming burnished copper that shone in the light of the stove. It had a lid engraved with a pattern of entwined leaves and flowers, ornate handles in the shape of birds and it was raised off the table on four tiny little ornate feet. It looked as out of place in our cube as a fairy would look in a farmyard!

“What the zlanny zlarg’s that?” I gasped, my jaw hanging.

Dad gave me a grim look.

“You got eyes ain’t you. It’s a namin’ bowl. Stars’ sake, son, pick that youngling up afore she wakes the dead!”

Cassie was now doing her very best to scream the place down as I was completely ignoring her and, not being used to this state of affairs, she was making her displeasure keenly felt. I picked her up, dropped my coat and sat down, still hardly able to take my eyes off the copper bowl. I had never seen metal work like it, not even in the human world.

“I know what it is, Dad,” I said. “But how on earth did it get here. Come to that why is it here at all? WE have a perfectly good bowl, we don’t need this!”

“We doesn’t know ‘ow it got ‘ere, Bert,” Dad glowered at the beautiful piece of copper. “Lil got up to give Cass ‘er breakfast an’ it was just there, sittin’ where you sees it, right beside ours that I got out last night cos we knew you was comin’ over today to take the bowl around.”

“Didn’t you hear or see anyone Mum?” I asked.

“Nope. I don’t understand it, don’t make sense.” Mum looked both puzzled and worried.

“It does though.” Tealy had been examining the copper bowl closely and now she straightened up.

“I don’t claim to know much about lep culture but I do know a bit about plants and a lot about symbols and emblems. These four feet are in the shapes of celtic knots as is the handle on the lid. There are shamrocks engraved all over the lid too. I think we can safely assume the Old Country not only knows exactly where Cassie is and who with but they know that there has already been trouble about her being taken into this family.”

We all stared from Tealy to the naming bowl in complete amazement.

“I think,” went on my clever girl, “That they are guessing Bert offering the family your naming bowl is going to cause a heaping helping of trouble, LilyBella, so they sent this one instead to try and help ease things for you and Cassie a bit.”

For a while we were all quiet. I rocked Cassie in my lap and gazed down at her incredibly beautiful face as she slowly dropped off to sleep. I felt almost scared. Who exactly was this tiny little scrap of leprichaunity, why had she been abandoned, who was taking such a keen interest in her now and why? Exactly what had I got myself into?

“Well come on.” That was Dad, practical as ever. “We can’t sit ‘ere wool gatherin’ all day, you got places to go, our Bert.”

“Oh, so I have!” I laid Cassie in the crib. “have you got something for me to put in the bowl?”

Dad put a tap to a small barrel.

“Nile showed me ‘ow to make this drink from the comb once you got most of the honey out.” Dad gave me a wink. “Mind, though, it’s strong! Bring us the bowl over an’ I’ll fill it.”

I went over to the table and picked up the bowl. Deliberately I walked back to Dad and held it out to be filled. Three sets of eyebrows rose in question marks.

“Fill it up, Dad.” I spoke firmly. “Cassie’s family. Fill it up full.”

Dad opened the tap and pale golden liquid began to flow into the earthenware naming bowl. When it was full I clamped on the lid and smiled.

“I’m grateful to the Old Country for their kindness,” I said. “But it won’t make anything easier for Cassie if we deviate from how things have always been done. Now come on, Tealy, let’s get this started.”

If we had collected odd looks before, when Tealy and I walked out into the thoroughfare with me carrying our family naming bowl we collected a lot more of them. Everyone gawked at us as if we had each grown two heads and six arms. Leps cleared out of our path as if we had some virulent species of plague. Tealy turned to me in distress.

“Oh Bert,” she whispered. “This is worse than I thought. What are we going to do?”

“We are going to just get on and do what we have to.” I said firmly. “Come on. Joby and Crystalia are closest. They live just down here.”

You have not met my sister Crystalia. She is younger than I, one of the last set of twins Mum had. Her twin brother Crystus is in the guards, in fact he is quite high up, one of the crack soldier guards. He does not come home that often and we only see him at family ceremonies. Crysti, his sister, is quiet and unassuming, she keeps herself very much to herself, minds her cube, looks after her twelve leplings and her husband Joby who is in the watch with Kas, in fact he’s a good friend of Kas’s, and does not bother anybody. Joby and Crysti had not put their two grains into the recent feeding frenzy, in fact I would have been surprised if they had. When I offered them the naming bowl I was not sure how they would take it.

I did not know if Joby would be in the cube that morning, I might have to go and find him at his work, but we were in luck. They were both there. When Tealy and I arrived Crysti was clearing away dishes, Joby was playing with the smaller lings and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at us. I walked to the table and put down the naming bowl, clearing my throat nervously. There are words you have to say when offering it, I had never done this before and I hoped to the hand I would get it right.

“The helping hand has sent a new youngling to make our family glad,” I began, hoping no one could hear the tremble in my voice. “Casidyanne’s Naming ceremony will be held on April the 14th. We offer you the naming bowl, humbly ask that you will drink to her health and happiness, attend her ceremony and share with us in the family’s joy.”

I stopped. I felt silly. Precious little joy this poor little foundling had brought to the family so far, except perhaps to me. No one had moved or said a word. Then Joby moved slowly towards the table. He was big for a lep and never did anything in a hurry. People tended to think that because he was slow he was stupid, they could not have been more wrong. There was a cutting, keen mind in that big head.

“We’ve ‘eard what folk are sayin’ Bert.” He said. “Me an’ Crys don’t get mixed up in all the nonsense but we ‘ear fings, you can’t ‘elp ‘earin’ sometimes. Some of ‘em’s sayin’ the youngling’s zlan-glart.” He raised an eyebrow that asked the question.

“What do you think, Joby?” I said wearily. “You’ve known me for years, and you, Crysti, we grew up together, for stars’ sake! Do you think I would foist a zlan-glart on the family? More important, If I had somehow found the time to father a zlan-glart, don’t you think I’m honourable enough to own up to my mistake? Zlendt it, you should know that if anything like that had happened there would be no question of zlan-glart! I’d have been married long before the youngling was born and living here in a cube with a job and enough grains coming in to support my family!”

Crysti came forward and put an arm around my shoulders.

“There’s a lot in that, Joe,” she said. “Our Bert ain’t like that. Everybody makes mistakes, stars know, but there’s fings some leps just ain’t capable of doin’ an’ that’s one of ‘em. No, this youngling ain’t zlan-glart, she’s an Im-Zaan, just like ‘e says.”

Crysti took the lid off the naming bowl and gestured to it.

“Go on,” she said firmly, for Joby was still looking unsure. “Someone’s got to make a stand an’ give my brother an’ Mum an’ Dad a bit of support. This time it’s goin’ to be us. Go. On!”

“You sure?” Joby was still looking dubious. “They won’t like it.”

“Then they can lump it.” I’d never seen my quiet sister so roused. “Go on, I tells ya!”

Jobypicked up the bowl and raised it to his lips, took a very deep breath and gave me a long, steady look.

“’ere’s ‘ealth, long life an’ ‘appiness to Cassidyanne.”

He took a long sip from the bowl and his eyes opened wide in pleasure at the taste of the mead. He handed the bowl to Crysti who said the prescribed words and took a sip too. Then she put the lid back on the bowl and hugged first me, then Tealy.

“I’m proud of you, our Bert,” she whispered in my ear as she hugged me. “You’re the bravest lep I know. Today’s probably goin’ to be ‘orrible ‘ard, but you keep your chin up, you’re doin’ the right fing by that youngling of yours, we’re behind you all the way.”

I had tears in my eyes as we left the cube. I was sure Crysti was going to be right, I would not get such good results at all the cubes we went into, but I knew I was doing the right thing, so I held up my wobbly chin and tried to be brave though I felt anything but.

For the next hour or so we walked the ways of the colony, seeking out my brothers and sisters. Some were in Tulia’s little circle so they would not even let me begin the invitation speech, just ordered us to leave and usually gave us a slice of tongue pie to go with it. In some cubes we had nice surprises. Brothers or sisters I was not particularly close to and did not know well gave me a kind reception and immediately accepted the naming bowl. Uncle Arf, who I did not strictly have to invite, but really wanted to be there, immediately accepted too and was really amazingly kind to me and Auntie Kitty gave me a lovely hug and a much-needed cup of tea. Barty was not consulted, having given up the headship of his family, but Minnimarni accepted the bowl and was really nice to us. I found Ikey at his work, he accepted at once and said we could pop in on Vee if we made it quick. Vee was still very weak and tired but she took a tiny sip from the bowl and said she would get to the ceremony somehow, anyway she wanted a peek at Cassie. I said I would bring Cassie down to see her soon.

I had really been dreading taking the bowl to Tulia and Shay’s cube. I thought it was a complete waste of time, Tuli had been bitterly outspoken against poor Cassie and against me. However tradition dictated that each and every member of the family had to be invited, so we arrived at Tuli and Shay’s at about lunch time and there they both were. Tuli was just dishing up some kind of thin stew and Shay was slicing a rough loaf. The seven lings, including the toddler PattiAnne, were all seated around the table.

Tealy and I walked into the cube, and under a battery of stares as friendly as a nest full of angry hornets I placed the naming bowl on a vacant corner of the table. I cleared my throat.

“The helping hand has sent a new youngling to make our family glad…” I got no further.

“Helping hand nothing!” Tulia swept a hand out as if she wanted to push the naming bowl to the floor, if I had not caught it up quickly that is exactly what she would have done and our family would have suffered a grievous loss.

“You did ought to be ashamed, our Bert, ashamed!” Tulia’s voice rose almost to a scream. “’ow you dare come in ‘ere offerin’ the family’s namin’ bowl for your zlan-glart..you’re filfy! You’re makin’ the ‘ole fam’ly filfy! You’re makin’ that namin’ bowl filfy! Why don’t you just take your filfy little zlan-glart an’ go away an’ leave us in peace!”

I was absolutely shaken to my core. I had never particularly liked this sister very much, we had never been close, but I had never done her any harm either. Now she was glaring at me like a mad lep, her eyes full of absolute hatred.

“Tulia,” I spoke quietly, trying to calm things down. “What have I ever done to you that you should hate me so much? This is not about Cassie. You know very well that I would not bring a zlan-glart into this family. In fact, you know very well there would be no zlan-glart in the first place. This is about me.”

“Leave it alone, Bert,” I jumped. Shay is always so quiet compared to Tulia that you are apt to forget he is there. Now he spoke wearily. “What’s done is done. You don’t want to get into this, believe me you don’t. Better to let it be.”

I turned and gave Shay a straight look. Oh didn’t I just? He was your original ostrich! If he thought I was going to go on living with Tulia forever sniping at me, at Mum and Dad and at Cassie he was very much mistaken.

“Have you looked at Facebook recently, Shay?” I asked quietly.

“No I ain’t. When does I ‘ave time to read that nonsense.”

“Then you don’t know what your wife has been stirring up?”

“What?” he gave me a puzzled look. An ostrich, like I said. I sighed wearily. I handed the naming bowl to Tealy.

“Look after that, Zaea, I don’t want any harm to come to it.” I told her.

“Lings, you get on with your lunch,” I said. I pulled out my phone and opened up Facebook, scrolling back in the feeds until I found some of the worst of Tulia’s vituperation.

“I’m sorry, Shay, but you need to see this,” I handed him the phone.

I watched sorrowfully as Shay read, scrolling forward, seeing how Tulia had done her very best to stir up bad feelings against not only me but Mum and Dad too and anyone who was willing to accept the truth of my story.

He handed my phone back to me shaking his head.

“Bert, I know you always tells fings straight,” he walked towards the table like someone who couldn’t feel his feet. “You say the youngling ain’t zlan-glart?”

“No. She is an Im-Zaan from the old country. She was abandoned in the bushes outside the colony. Tealy and I found her there, she imprinted herself on me and she is under my protection now.”

“Course you’d say that!” Tulia muttered resentfully.

“Shut up, Tulia,” Shay suddenly turned to her looking absolutely furious. “I put up with you runnin’ your own brother down night an’ day an’ now I find out you been doin’ your best to make life ‘ard for your Mum an’ Dad too. You ain’t goin’ to do it no more.”

“I’ll do what the zlarg I please, Shayo,” sneered Tulia, “You certainly ain’t goin’ to stop me!”

“Oh ain’t I just! I’m the ‘ead of this family an’ don’t you ever forget it!”

Now Shay is small even for a lep, he is slight, quiet, I had always supposed him to be absolutely under my sister’s thumb. Now he looked to have puffed up to twice his normal size with anger. He strode to one of the shelves, grabbed a heavy sledge hammer, rushed over to one of the swinging chairs and picked something up from it. He hurried back to the table with it in his hand, it was not till he put it down that I saw what it was. An iPhone. Before any of us knew what he intended he had raised the hammer over his head and dealt the phone four or five heavy blows which shattered it all to bits.

We were all so stunned no one moved or spoke but Shay had not finished. He ran to some recessed shelving, pulled one of the shelves and it slid forward on runners revealing an old Apple IMac. Those things are made to last but even the toughest computer was not meant to be bashed with a sledge hammer. Shay did not stop hitting it until it, and the shelf it stood on was in pieces.

By this time Tealy and I and the lings were standing far back in a corner well out of Shay’s way. Tulia had made one effort to stop him and he had thrown her hands off him as if she had been a tiresome little nat. Finally he stopped, threw down the hammer and straightened up totally breathless, turned and looked at us.

“You’ll cause no more trouble that way, wife.” He said. “I’m ashamed of you, do you hear me? I’m ashamed of meself too, I should ‘ave taken me mind off tryin’ to keep food on this table an’ made you look to your ways. But you’ll look to ‘em from now on, I promise you. Bert, bring that bowl Ere will ya?”

I took the bowl to Shay and he raised it, said the words and drank.

“Shayo, you can’t. I won’t!”

“Wife, you’ll do as you’re told! I’ve tried to be good to you and given you freedom an’ look where it got me. You poisoned an’ split the family. Now you’re goin’ to behave properly or I’ll dissolve this marriage an’ take the lings away wiv me. Now take the bowl. Take it!”

He held out the bowl and I tensed. I was sure Tulia was going to dash the bowl to the floor where it would break into a thousand pieces but she took it, raised it and in a voice little more than a whisper said.

“’ere’s ‘ealth, long life an’ ‘appiness to…” she paused and the last word almost choked her. “Cassidyanne!” She handed the bowl back to me, looking me straight in the face and I could see from her eyes that nothing had changed. Shay might have damped the fire, but damped down fires had a nasty habit of springing up worse than ever some day. I needed to find a way of putting out the fire of hatred in Tulia once and for all.

After Tuli and Shay we went to see Kas and Kori and it was wonderful to be in their lovely quiet cube. They each drank eagerly from the bowl and said they were looking forward to the ceremony. Just before we left Kori said one of her odd things.

“The twenty-first’ll be a lovely day, all sunbeams an’ blossoms. A perfect day for the hand to meet a new princess.”

“What did she mean?” I asked Tealy. “Cassie’s being named on the fourteenth! Weird.”

“I wouldn’t bank on it.” Tealy smiled. “You know Kori sees things we can’t. It’ll all become clear in time. Come on, Here’s Tovey’s cube.”

Tovey, of course, was at work but Lina and Lita were both in. I said my piece and Lina immediately took a sip from the bowl. I turned to offer it to Lita.

“No, Bert.” She gave me a long, cool stare. “I won’t be there.”

“That is your right, Lita,” I said. “But would you mind telling me why not. Do you believe Tulia’s Zlan-glart nonsense. Surely you know me better.”

Lita gave me a long assessing look.

“No, I don’t believe that.” She said. “But I can’t in conscience agree with what you’re doing, I don’t think it’s right.”

I stared in surprise.

“I don’t understand,” I said blankly. “Could you please explain.”

“You say you found this Im-Zaan, it imprinted itself on you. If that’s true, why aren’t you here taking care of it? You chose instead to stay in your swanky job and foist it on Mum and Dad. Don’t you think they’ve done enough? Don’t you think they need some peace at their time of life? That youngling’s too much for our Mum, Bert.”

“Lita,” I said, “Did you ever talk to Mum about this?”

“Course not.” Lita looked annoyed. “She won’t let no one say a word about it.”

“Then why didn’t you ask me about it before instead of talking on Facebook with Tulia and her gang? If you had done so I would have told you that I offered, no, wanted to give up my job, get a cube here and take care of Cassie myself.” That surprised her all right! “Mum and Dad wouldn’t let me.” I went on. “They said I had grafted half my life to get where I am now and that anyone could see I love my job, which is true enough. So they said they would take care of Cassie for now. Lita, don’t you think I care just as much about Mum and Dad as you do? If I really thought Cassie was getting too much for Mum I would say low country with my job in a heartbeat, as much as that would hurt me. I didn’t take any of this on lightly, believe me! One more thing, while I can work at this job I am making grains to provide for her future, many more grains than I could make here so it makes sense in every way for me to go on working in the human world as long as I can.”

There was a long silence.

“You really offered to give up your job?” Lita was looking both surprised and embarrassed. “But Tulia said…”

“That Tulia’s a real Zlorg, Zaaal,” Lina spoke firmly to Lita, “You should never listen to nothin’ she says!”

“She won’t be saying anything for a long time, well, not on Facebook or Email anyway.” Tealy told them what Shay had done to Tuli’s computer and phone.

“Never!” Lina and Lita both looked awestruck. “What, little Shay what never did more’n squeak? Cor! Well it won’t do ‘er no ‘arm to ‘ave ‘er wings clipped. Come on, Leet, Bert’s answered all your questions, now do the right fing, there’s my girl.”

Lita took the bowl, said the words, smiled and drank eagerly.

“Do us all good to have something to celebrate.” She said, clapping me on the shoulder.

When I found Tovey at his work he said the same thing. He was really glad that I’d been able to bring Lita round. I was glad too but I did not know quite how much good I had done until I found Gwenice who was making calls in the poorer quarter of the colony. I had not expected a kind reception as my sister Gwenice had been very outspoken against Cassie being accepted into the family.

“I’ve been expecting you.” She said, coming out of a tiny dark cube and giving me a smile. “Lita’s been on the phone. Well come on then, I haven’t got all day!”

I said my piece, Gwen took the bowl, said hers and drank her sip of mead. She handed the bowl back and was turning away when I called her.

“Gwen for stars’ sake! What’s brought this on. You were firing broadsides all over Facebook last week, saying you’d see me in low country before you’d accept Cassie into this family. What’s changed your mind?”

She half turned back and gave me an impatient look over her shoulder.

“Bert, I may be ten kinds of an idiot but I can admit when I’m wrong.” She said. “I never believed Tulia’s zlan-glart story but I thought, a lot of us thought, you’d left the Im-Zaan with Mum and Dad rather than give up that job of yours and I was pretty zlendt disgusted with you. I tried to have it out with Mum but she point blank refused to discuss it. Well, now we all know the truth, don’t we? As soon as you left Lina’s, Lita got on the phone, the wires must have been red hot. I don’t think you’ll have too much more trouble. Now do let me get on!”

And she was more or less right. Of course, there were still some who were well in with Tulia and nothing would sway them, but the tide of the family had been turned in my favour so the level of the mead in the naming bowl steadily dropped during the afternoon. I had left Mella and Derry till last. I had been dreading going there because, while Mella had kept in touch with me during all the difficult days, Derry had not. In fact he had joined in, albeit briefly, with those speaking against Cassie and I, and I did not know if he was still against us. Derry’s hard words on Facebook had hurt me very much indeed, he and I had been so very close, almost like brothers. Tealy had helped the family so much during Derry’s long illness. It seemed all of that was forgotten. Or was it? We did not know.

As Tealy and I entered Derry and Mella’s cube everyone stopped what they were doing and there was an awful, awkward silence. I walked forward to the table, put down the almost empty naming bowl and took a breath to speak.

“Don’t, Bert, Don’t say it.” Mella came forward and put her arms around me, her eyes were full of tears.

Derry suddenly spoke up, his voice was quiet and sad but firm.

“We’re not goin’ Bert. It ain’t right what you’re doin’ an’ nothin’ you say will make it right. I’m sorry but there it is.” Derry stood by the table looking sad but determined.

“Derry,” I was feeling so awful I could hardly speak. “You and I have been through so much. I thought you’d support me no matter what. I don’t understand this.”

“I can’t, Bert, not this time.” Derry sank wearily into a chair. “You want to bring a Im-Zaan into this family. You can’t tell me that’s right. Family’s family an’ Im-Zaans is Im-Zaans. They should be raised by the ‘anders an’ learned to be useful. That’s the code, Bert, an’ you can’t argue wiv it.”

“Cassie can’t help being an Im-Zaan!” I was suddenly angry. “Why should she be punished for something she can’t help? And don’t you dare quote the code to me, Derrywood Fillipan! I can outcode you from here to next Saint Patrick! The code allows for an Im-Zaan to be taken into a family if there is a strong and true imprint, which there is in this case. The Handholder’s happy with it, the council’s happy with it. What right have you to object to it?”

“What right ‘ave you to force an im-zaan into this family when most of us doesn’t want it?” he was on his feet again, facing me across the table. “You fink you’re so clever an’ so good an’ you only got to explain an’ we’ll all do what you say, our Bert. But if something ain’t right you can’t make it right wiv all your fine big words. This just ain’t right, it’ll bring bad luck, I tells ya, and I ain’t ‘avin’ nuffin to do wiv it, an’ neither is my wife, an’ neither is my lings. Now take yourself out of ‘ere.”

As I picked up the bowl I could hardly see for the tears blurring my vision. I knew very well what this would mean for mella, Derry and for us. No more cosy times at their cube, no more playing with their wonderful lings. I would miss them all so very much. Blinded by tears I could not hold back I stumbled down the thoroughfare, only kept from bumping into things and smashing the naming bowl by Tealy’s guiding hand on my arm. Suddenly I heard the sound of running feet and Mella was there. Tealy snatched the bowl before it could come to grief and then I was holding my favourite sister in a fierce hug and she was clinging to me as if she would never let go.

“Bert,” she whispered. “I only got a minute. I need to know ‘ow to get to your place. Show me a map.”

“You mean where I work?” I asked dazedly.

“Course I mean where you work, stupid. Now ‘urry, we ain’t got much time. I might need somewhere to run one day.” I showed her the map but I was doubtful. There was no room for her, let alone the lings, in the lair. Then I had an idea. “I’ve thought of somewhere else.” I showed her Annwn. I seemed to feel a smile in my mind and knew that the Lady had also understood. The freedom of Annwn meant protection for those whom I protected she had said.

“I don’t know why you would ever need to run, Mella mine, but if you ever do, run there. Come to the Lair first though so I can help.” I said.

“I will.” Mella hugged me again, her tears wetting my cheek. “Keep in touch, our Bert. I love you.” I was really surprised. Things must be seriously bad for her, it is not a thing leps often say.

“Stay strong, Mella.” I said, “I’ll always love you.” Then she was gone.

When I got back to Mum and Dad’s cube I felt absolutely exhausted and wrung out. I had been on my feet for most of the day and I had gone through some emotional scenes. All I wanted to do was sit in a chair, cuddle Cassie and relax for a while until I had to go back to the Lair.

I came into the cube to find Mum and Dad both looking white and drawn and the head of the council sitting at the table looking embarrassed.

“Fank the stars you’re back, our Bert.” Dad said.

“What in high country’s going on?” I asked. I picked up Cassie and sat down.

“I’m sorry about this, Mr Bertalius,” the head council member looked down at his hands, clearly wishing himself anywhere else. “But there’s been a petition lodged with the council.”

“A petition?” I asked, totally non-plused. “What kind of a petition?”

“A petition that states Cassie ain’t an Im-Zaan like we said she is.” Dad sounded as grim as I have ever heard him. “A petition that states she is a zlan-glart. Some members of the family…”

“Oh no! Not our family! They haven’t done this?”

“I’m so sorry, Mr Bertalius.” The council member looked at me now and I could see how much he was hating this. “We’ve received a petition stating that Cassidyanne Bertaliusna is zlan-glart and asking that we conduct a full investigation into her. It also asks that if it cannot be proved that she is Im-Zaan as you say that she be removed from the colony.”

I felt dizzy and sick. The thought of Cassie being taken away… I just couldn’t even bear to contemplate it.

“Is it Tulia?” I whispered.

“Tulia Alfardna is the leading signatory, yes, and…” he gave me a look as if he were about to drop a bombshell. “And Derrywood Fillipan.”

I was so shocked my brain just seemed to freeze. That Derry would not be involved in Cassie’s naming ceremony was one thing. That he could actively try to get her removed from the colony even though he knew what this would do to me was quite another. I just absolutely could not believe it. Slowly my brain began to work. Mella must have known what he had done. She would not be able to forgive him easily for that, especially after everything that had happened between us. No wonder she was thinking seriously of running away.

“What’s going to happen?” I whispered.

“We’ll have to hold a hearing, Mr Bertalius.” The council member looked at me sympathetically. “Date’s been set for April 20th. Gives us time to see what we can find out and I suggest you do the same.”

“You won’t get nothin’ out of the Old Country if that’s what you’re thinkin’.” Dad was dubious. “Someone sent that youngling ‘ere out of the way for a good reason. They don’t want no one knowin’ where she is or who she is. They ain’t goin’ to tell us nothin’.”

“But if we can’t prove Mr Bertalius’s story we’ll be forced to grant the family’s petition, we have no grounds not to,” the council member looked worried. “It has the required number of signatures and I think a lot of the council will want it acted on.”

I was forced to bow my head so no one could see my tears. I do wish I was not such a wimp, but the thought of poor Cassie being taken away and sent I did not know where to some impersonal handers was more than I could take.

“There is one more thing,” The council member looked, if possible, even more uncomfortable. “I’m afraid, until this matter is cleared up, the naming ceremony cannot go ahead. I’m sure you will understand.”

“Sir,” I almost jumped, Tealy had been very quiet through most of the day, just supporting me and helping me get through everything. Now she was facing the head of the leprechaun council looking very determined.

“You are Miss Tealy?” he asked.

“I am. I have also been bonded to Bertalius in the elfin fashion. I have been given permission by my Elfhold to give evidence at leprechaun hearings should the need arise. Will I be permitted to be at Cassidyanne ImZanna’s hearing?”

She put a lot of emphasis on Cassie’s correct patronymic, not the incorrect one which the head council member had given her, although, if the truth were known, that is the one I would have preferred her to have.

“I don’t know, Miss Tealy.” The council member looked doubtful. “This matter is not the concern of elves, however much permission they may have to give evidence. I know you were with Mr Bertalius when the youngling was found and I can move that your evidence be heard but there will be those in the council that will not want to hear you. Lep family code runs deep.”

I suddenly remembered Tealy’s wristicator and my heart leapt. Of course, she would have been filming, as she always was required to do when she left Elfhold.

“But sir,” Tealy spoke quietly, raising a warning eyebrow at me, for I was about to argue more strongly. “I can prove that my bondmate’s story is true.”

“You don’t understand, Miss Tealy. A lot of the council don’t want it proved. They know quite well that we have an Im-Zaan from the Old Country in this colony and they are very unhappy about it. They will use any tiny, footling excuse to get it removed. This petition from Bertalius’s family is just the excuse they need. If you were a lep they would have to hear you but as you are not you have no legal right to speak in our council unless you are given gracious permission to do so, which if most of the council have their way, you will not be.” He turned back to me. “Try to get some word from The Old Country, Bert. It’s your only hope.”

He left then, leaving a lot of shock and unstoppable tears behind him.

I honestly do not know how I got back to the Lair without ztrapping myself. I was in such a complete daze. Fortunately the helping hand was with me and I arrived back in my closet, though I made an extremely inelegant landing and fell in a heap on the floor. I made such a racket that L heard me and ran in to see what the matter was.

Oh what a sorry, gibbering mess she found! I was completely incoherent with shock, rage and, if truth be told, good old-fashioned fright. It is really hard for me to explain to you what being imprinted does to you, it brings a lot of good things like always knowing the right thing to do for the youngling, knowing when it’s in danger, understanding its needs, being willing to protect it and love it to the ends of the earth and beyond. But there is a down side. I knew that the imprint was set now, no power on earth could take it off us, which meant that if Cassie was taken away from the colony and sent who knows where I would suffer irreparable damage both mentally and physically. I don’t know how I knew that, I just did. You cannot lose a part of yourself and be able to function normally, it just won’t work.

L tried to find out what on earth was wrong but I wasn’t able to give her any coherent explanation. From the few words she did hear she must have got a terrible fright. She scorched out of my closet yelling for Brian.

In a few minutes they were back. L lifted me on to her lap, Brian handed me a mug of hot tea which I gulped gratefully, then Brian sat down next to L on the sofa.

“Now, Bert,” he said. “We know something bad has happened. L thinks she heard you say something about them taking Cassie away. We need to know who is taking her away, what for and what you are proposing to do about it. Drink that tea, take some deep breaths and, in your own time, tell us everything that is happening.”

I got a hold of myself with difficulty, drained the mug of tea and, with several stops to collect my thoughts, described my day from the beginning, leaving nothing out. It seemed to take me forever and by the time I had finished I was worn out.

“So there you are,” I concluded, dropping my head on L’s shoulder and curling up in my favourite position. “They say that Tealy probably won’t be allowed to show her video logs which will prove our story. Dad says he’s going to talk to the Handholder in the morning and she’ll tell him who to contact in the Old Country but he isn’t hopeful. As to what I’m going to do, at this moment I honestly haven’t got a clue. I only know that if they take Cass away I’ll never get over it.”

I heard L saying something and Brian answering but it was all getting dim and blurry. The room was undulating in nasty pea-green waves and I closed my eyes. I felt myself being lifted and laid somewhere blissfully soft and cool. Then someone took off my trainers, oh what a relief! I heard someone say the words “Pyjamas! And “Behind the door.” And I don’t remember anymore.

If you’ll believe me, I spent a lot of Tuesday asleep. I needed it! I woke up at about ten, scorched out of bed and went into the den in my dressing-gown to see what Brian needed me to do but I found out it was nothing. Brian was working, L was lying on the sofa looking ill. Brian told me to go back to my closet and rest for as long as I needed to.

“But L isn’t well,” I protested. “Shouldn’t I stay and help?”

“Don’t argue, sweetie,” L spoke without raising her head. “If things get bad I’ll call you, I promise.”

I wasn’t sorry to curl back up in bed, I felt absolutely trashed. Within minutes I was asleep and it was half-past four whenI woke up. I wondered what small sound had wakened me. I looked blearily around and saw a cup of tea on my bedside table. I reached for it gratefully, my mouth was like sandpaper.

When I had gulped a mouthful or two I stumbled out of bed, groped my way to my desk, got Imogen iPad, staggered back to bed, propped myself up with pillows, booted her up, took another gulp of tea and a deep breath and logged on to Facebook to see what was going on.

Oh holy moon! The furore was unbelievable! Word had got out about Tulia and Derry getting up their little petition together with exactly who had signed it, the cleansings had really hit the purifier and the family was as divided as the red sea.

While it was gratifying to see that the majority of the family were now on my side, the ones that weren’t were loud and vociferous in their condemnation and it did not make for very pleasant reading. I sighed wearily. When was this going to end?

I turned Imogen off and snuggled back down in bed. I would allow myself just this one day off to rest and recover myself before taking on these problems again. Everything had got to be faced, but first I would get some more rest.

I was sleeping deeply when the sound of a zap woke me up. I opened my eyes to find Tealy sitting on the end of my bed looking absolutely worn out.

“I didn’t sleep much last night, Zaea,” she confessed when I expressed my concern, “And I’ve just finished a twelve hour shift.”

“Then what are you doing here, Zaeahana! You should be at home resting.”

“I couldn’t do that.” She looked as if I’d suggested something ridiculous. “I was far too worried about you. Look, Bert, can we go in to see Brian and L. This is getting serious and we need to get their input on this.”

“On what, Zaea?” I was not following.

“Let me get this straight.” She gave me a disbelieving look. “You’ve been asleep in bed all day instead of figuring out what you might do if they try to take Cassie away from you?”

“What could I do? If they give the order and I don’t obey I would be in breach of lep code and what happens then? Let’s see, lose my job, be tried for code violation, probably be sent to the lockholes.”

“So what will you do instead?” she flashed me a hard stare. “Let them take her away and then what happens? Let’s see, the imprint tears, your physical health suffers, mental health suffers, you’ll probably never be the same again, definitely be unable to work, we have no chance of any kind of a normal relationship, you’ll end up living out your life in the healing gardens if you don’t turn your face to the wall.”

I stared at Tealy in real horror.

“All that? Could all that happen?”

“Bert.” Tealy gave me a long, sombre look. “I’ve just come from Andi’s. I needed to use a computer outside Elfhold. Gordy gave me access to Lepnet, now his clearance isn’t anything like as good as yours, but it was good enough. He helped me do some research into what happens to mothers who, for any reason, lose younglings. Not when they go to High Country, that’s different. The imprint is terminated then. It’s very unusual for a mother to have a youngling removed for any reason, the code says it can only be done if it’s in the youngling’s best interest. It’s bad for a youngling, but with the help of a powerful Handholder it could recover.”

“Well that’s something at least. Poor little Cassie…” I got no further.

“Low country with Cassie!” hissed Tealy. “At the moment I’m more worried about you!”

I stared.

“Bert, listen to me! Said Tealy, the youngling, with lots of help, can usually recover. The point is this. I read lots of case histories. No mother I’ve read about ever did.”

“None of them?” I was absolutely horrified. Tealy took my hands, her big eyes full of tears.

“None of them, darling. Not one. Bert, we can’t let them take Cassie away. We’ve got to be prepared to do anything, I mean any. Thing. At. All. Rather than let that happen. Now let’s go and see Brian and L.”

Nothing had changed much in the den since I was last in there. L was still lying on the sofa and Brian was still working at his computer, though it was now mid evening so it must have been on radio station work rather than at his day job. He readily put work aside and came across to us when we asked if we could talk. Soon Brian was seated beside L who had sat up to make room for him, Tealy and I were in our usual places on the futon, and Tealy was explaining what she had found out. As she talked I saw L getting distressed and Brian beginning to look more and more grave.

“This is bad,” he said when Tealy had finished. “Tealy, do you think the council know this, I mean about what will happen to Bert if Cassie is taken away?”

“I don’t know.” She said. “I should think some of them might, but I don’t think they care. Why should they?”

“Do you think the family knows?” asked L. “I bet they don’t. Tealy, why don’t you put the word out about it.”

“Do you think I ought to, L?” Tealy looked uncertain. “LilyBella has enough on her plate, if she knew what would happen to Bert if he lost Cassie she might snap.”

“I think she knows all right.” I spoke quietly. “Didn’t you see her face last night, Tealy. Mum’s been around mothers and younglings all her life. She told me about the imprint. Oh, I think she knows very well. That’s why she couldn’t stop crying last night.”

“What do you think it would achieve if I put the word out, L?” asked Tealy, still looking doubtful. “There’s enough bad feeling on Facebook as it is.”

“I think if some of the signatories on that petition knew exactly what it would mean they might drop it. I know there’s no hope of shifting Tulia, I don’t know what her problem is but she’s got it in for Bert, that’s clear. But the others, do they really want him broken or worse? And what about Derry? He’s married to Bert’s favourite sister, those two have been as close as two people can be. How’s his wife going to feel if she knows he was responsible for…” she stopped. It really didn’t bear thinking about.

“Do it, Zaea,” I said. “If enough signatories renaigue on that petition the council won’t hear it, never mind act on it. Do it tonight, honey, will you please?”

“Of course I will.” She gave my ear a kiss.

“All the same,” said Brian, practical as ever, “We can’t count on that being successful. Now Tealy, something you said gave me an idea.”

“Yes?” Tealy looked hopeful.

“You said that a youngling was removed from its mother only if it was in its best interests. That’s the code, isnt’ it, Bert?”

“I don’t know offhand.” I said. “I could look it up though.”

“Do that.” Brian said. “it might be important. I mean, we need to know the exact wording. There are a lot of snakes in your family and you are not Cassie’s mother, even though she is imprinted on you, so even though it would absolutely not be in her best interests to be taken away they might use the actual wording of the code to wriggle out of that argument. Look it up so we know where we stand.”

“I’ll do it this evening.” I promised.

“Now,” Brian’s face grew even more serious. “We need to bite the bullet here. We’ve been dodging around it and it won’t do. It might be that, in spite of all our best efforts, things go against us at this hearing and they give the order for Cassie to be taken away. Tealy, does that happen straight away, do you know?”

Yes it does.” Tealy wrinkled her nose in revulsion. “If a youngling is removed they lock the mother away first so she can’t get near the youngling, then they take the youngling away. They send a troop of crack guards to the family’s cube. If they order Cassie’s removal and she’s still in the colony there won’t be a thing we can do, Brian. Bert would be arrested on the spot and he won’t be released until Cassie’s gone.”

This was all a bit too much for me. I started to shake and could not stop. Tealy put her arms around me.

“I have an idea, Brian,” she said. “But I don’t know what you’ll think of it. If we have to use it it will mean a change in all our lives.”

“Tell us.” Brian was looking grim.

“I could come for Cassie early on the morning of the 20th and take her safely to Annwn. I’ll make it so that no one knows we’re gone, they won’t be expecting to see Cassie at the hearing. Once Cassie’s settled there I’ll come back, do my best to get my evidence heard, we’ll use every other argument you’ve suggested too. Perhaps we’ll even get some joy from the Old Country, you never know. If we win I’ll just zap straight off to Annwn and bring her back with me.”

“And if we lose, Zaea?” I already thought I knew the answer and it was filling me with a cold dread mixed with a tiny tinge of excitement.

“If we lose,” Tealy’s voice had grown stealy hard. “They will have to read the order of removal, they can’t get out of that, it’s the law and the code. It’s long, Bert, a long, wordy document. When they start to read it I’ll take your hand and we’ll zap right out of there under their noses. They won’t be able to stop us. We’ll join Cassie in Annwn.”

“But Tealy!” L looked horrified. “If you do that, what will they do to Bert when he comes back?”

“He can never come back, L.” Brian spoke gently but the words seemed to fall into the quiet room like bombs. “That’s true isn’t it, Tealy?”

“Yes.” Tealy looked at L sadly. “If he did he would be arrested and tried for code violation, kidnapping, maybe even treason. He wouldn’t have a chance, L. If we lose, Bert will have to seek refuge with the Tylwyth Teg in Annwn.”

To say I was feeling mixed up would be an understatement. I looked from l’s stricken face to Brian’s grim one. They did not say that they wanted me to go away about as much as they wanted double ceptic pneumonia. They did not have to. I wanted to go and live in that bleak mountain even less, leaving my family, the free open air and the humans I cared about most. It amounted to a life sentence for me. But if I did not go? Well, according to Tealy, that could well be a death sentence. Oh holy helping hand what was I to do!

“I think Tealy’s plan is the only answer,” L’s voice was shaking. “It wouldn’t be any good bringing Cassie here even if we could have her, she’d soon be found, it’d be the first place they’d look and then we’d all be in trouble. The three of them will be safe in Annwn. Do you agree, B?”

“yes I do.” Brian spoke thoughtfully. “If the worst happens I’ll deal with Shana-Sherrin so that they don’t stir things up, you certainly don’t need that!”

“Just one thing though,” L wiped away tears. “If it does go wrong, Tealy, will you find a way to let us know. If we’re going to lose Bert it’ll be bad enough, but to always be left not knowing if he’s ok? I couldn’t bear that.”

Tealy jumped down from the futon, ran across to L, took hold of her hands and squeezed them tightly, looking up into her face.

“He’ll be ok, L.” Tealy’s voice was almost fierce in its intensity. “I promise he will.”

Something passed between those two that I didn’t understand. L’s hands tightened, she smiled and Tealy nodded. Then L patted Tealy’s shoulder.

“Go home and get some rest, Tealy, you’re dead on your feet,” she said. “And Bert, you go back to bed right now!”

And that was the end of a very strange day.

Wednesday was quiet and uneventful. Brian was busy, I helped him with various things and looked after L who was still not well at all. Tealy had done her work well and there was much discussion on Facebook about what would happen if Cassie was taken away from me. Gwenice, I was amazed to see, backed up everything Tealy had said and urged everyone who had signed that petition to go to the council and remove their signatures forthwith if they did not want to be responsible for a death in the family. This last was not calculated to make me feel any better I can tell you! It did, however, move two of the petition’s signatories to go to the council and remove their names. This was not enough, unfortunately. The petition had twenty signatories. We would have to get ten of them removed before we could get the case thrown out. Since a lot of the signatories were in Tulia’s gang I did not hold out too much hope.

I looked up the lep family code about the removal of a youngling and became even more depressed. The word “Mother” did appear in the rule about a youngling only being removed should it be deemed to be in its best interests. We would have to try to argue that I was the nearest thing Cassie had to a mother, of course, but the other side would argue that the code must be interpreted to the letter and on it would go. Nothing was going to be certain and things were looking grim. I went to bed in a black mood.

On Thursday morning things started in the normal way. Up, shower, dress, tidy up, check Emails, a very strained one from mella, a very sad one from Mum saying that at least Cassie was ok and seemed to be unaffected by all this trouble. I went to get breakfast for Brian and L. When I had things cleared up I began to do some work for Brian and I noticed that L was getting ready to go out. This surprised me as she has been going through a very bad cycle with her health and seldom goes anywhere. I was even more surprised when, once she was ready, she came up to me holding out my trainers, coat and cap.

“Here, sweetie, could you put these on?” she said, “It’s cold outside.”

“L, what’s going on?” I asked.

“We’re going out with Alan.” She said. “I need to get out and have a breath of air and I’d like you to come with me. Alan can take some pictures of you for me. We’ll go to some nice places and have some fun.”

With a sudden rocking wince I understood. If these were going to be our very last days together L wanted us to have some nice times and good memories to look back on.

So we went out with Alan, L’s friend who has a big four by four. On that first day we went to a wide green common, then to a park where I got scared by a load of marauding ducks, then to the top of Caerphilly mountain, well away from the entrance to Annwn, I was glad to see. In each place I had lots of pictures taken. It was great fun and L seemed really happy. We came back with huge lamb rolls for lunch and big smiles on our faces. L was so tired she had to rest for most of the rest of the day but wow, it was worth it!

Nothing much happened on Friday except that I was heartened to see that three more names had been removed from that zlendt petition. Still not enough but there might be more, I told myself.

Saturday was its usual mad self, made even madder by the fact that something went wrong with l’s computer and we had to switch machines in mid show. Moon above what a kerfuffle! We got both shows out in the end and I was about ready to drop when I went back to my closet. There was a note from Tealy on my phone; could I meet her on the mountain at nine in the morning? Zlendt, I thought! I wanted a nice quiet day with Cassie, I did not need to go grubbing about in Annwn, not tomorrow. Still, I thought, I had probably better get used to it, so I texted back that I would see her there.

Nine O’clock the next morning duly found me standing shivering on the high plateau with my back to the white rock which was the entrance to Annwn. Nothing much had changed overnight. The fuss was still rumbling on Facebook, L was still not well and Brian very busy. I knew they were both worried and trying not to let me see it. They sent me off, hoping I would have a nice day. I zapped out of my lovely closet wondering just how many more days and nights I would spend there.

I jumped as Tealy arrived beside me. I had been miles away. She was warmly dressed all in hot pink and looked wonderful. We just had time to say hello before we were joined by someone else. This was obviously not one of the Tylwyth Teg, but it was not an elf either.
He stood about as tall as me, but width wise he could have made three of me and I am not as slim as I could be. He was broad, muscular and round as a barrel. He had short, thick legs which seemed comically out of proportion to his huge, muscular body, long thick arms and broad flat hands like a pair of spades. His round head was covered with a mass of reddish-brown curls, a long red beard and a thick moustache. All this hair more or less hid his face completely but you noticed his eyes. They snapped out at you through the foliage, bright and black as coal.

“a’ right?” he said. I knew that accent. I had heard people who lived near us speak like that. “I’m Grych I am. I gotta take you in. Tealy, is it?” He looked at my girl.

“Yes. This is my bondmate. We are expected.”

“yeah.” The huge hand gripped mine and nearly broke it. “C’mon then, you don’t wanna be late.”

Grych turned, laid his hand on the rock and it melted to show the archway leading to Annwn. We followed him inside with me wondering what exactly he was. I had not seen anyone like him before. I supposed he was a dwarf. After all, it fitted. The beard, the muscles, the big flat hands he would need for digging. I turned to Tealy and whispered very softly.

“is he a dwarf, Zaea?”

I should have known better. Grych was some way ahead of us but he must have had a bat’s hearing, he rounded on me and glared.

“Don’t you call me no dwarf!” he roared.

“I am sorry,” I was scared, he looked capable of breaking me clean in half.

“yeah, you mind your manners, leprechaun,” he said. “We give back to the earth as well as take from it. We dig with our hands, not cold steel. We gather what mother earth provides, we don’t steal her treasures. Dwarf!” he spat on the ground.

“I appologise to you and the gnoming,” I said humbly, seeing the depth of my blunder and feeling a complete fool. “I meant no disrespect.” “I am a stranger here and have not seen a gnome before.”

“K.” he said gruffly and stomped off in front of us. Tealy was looking scared.

“For stars’ sake don’t do that again.” She whispered. “You’ll get us both slaughtered!”

“They’re sendin’ a floater.” Our friendly guide turned and glared at us. “The elfin live down by there.” He pointed vaguely. “Stand there an’ wait.” He turned and stomped off, leaving us alone in the passage.

“He was charming.” I whispered when I was sure our friend had gone. “Grych!” I pronounced it as the gnome had, making the Y into a flat you and the C H the guttural throaty sound that the Welsh seemed to like so much. “Sounded like something he was bringing up into his hanky!” I snickered unkindly.

“Shut up, Bert!” Tealy shook my arm fiercely. “That’s no way to talk down here! You know that here all races have to get along together.”

“I know.” I said, “I’ll remember, but he wasn’t exactly keeping that rule either was he? He wasn’t very complimentary about the dwarves.”

Tealy sighed in exasperation.

“Tell me about it. The lady has her work cut out all right. She doesn’t need anyone making things any harder. Ah, here’s our floater if I’m not mistaken!”

It didn’t sound like the floaters in Elfhold. Those rode the air with a high, sweet whirr. This thing made a teeth-juddering whine like a very large fax machine trying and failing to send a very large fax. Tealy’s sensitive ears quivered in protestation. Mine weren’t any too happy either.

The thing wobbled towards us, made an inelegant landing and sat there, looking apologetic.

“Oh dear!” said Tealy and I could see exactly what she meant.

It looked like nothing so much as a small, shabby, two-seater sofa upholstered in very nasty shiny brown leatherette which had definitely seen better days. Draped over the back was a much darned white lace antimacassar, complete with greasy head marks. It was about as far from the beautiful, shiny red floaters of Elfhold as a slice of spam is from a fillet steak!

“Oh well, I suppose there’s nothing for it.” Tealy climbed gingerly on to the monstrosity, trying to get as little of her lovely pink coat on it as she could. I followed and as soon as we were seated there was a protesting metallic wheeze and a restraining harness slowly extruded from the back of the sofa and began to squeeze us in a boa constrictor embrace.

“How thin to you think these elves are?” I gasped.

“Are you trying to kill us or what?” Tealy thumped the arm of the sofa and the killing grip slackened just the slightest. We could at least breathe.

“I doubt if this thing will get off the ground with us on it.” Said Tealy.

As if to prove her wrong the sofa, I mean floater, gave a kind of herumph and tilted backwards, pinning us to the back. Then it tilted forwards so that we were left lying on the harness, looking down at the very hard stone floor which was very slowly getting further and further away.

“Ok, you win,” gasped Tealy, “You can float, just straighten up, will you?”

The sofa gave another herumph, straightened up and its noise settled into the whine we had heard before. Tealy and I settled back, got our breath and looked about.

We were floating over farmland. It was amazing. One minute there was a ceiling of rock above us, the next the floater had seemingly flown out into the open under a sun-filled blue sky and below us we could see green fields planted with rows of some kind of grain. Further on we saw more crops, vegetables, fruit, tall golden maize. Further still there were smaller gardens where healing herbs were growing, the rich smell was wafted up to us on the clean air. We saw many gnomes working in the fields, the air was full of their singing and the sweet calls of many birds. I gazed all about in absolute astonishment.

“how beautiful!” I said to Tealy. “I couldn’t think why anyone would want to live in this mountain, Zaea, but I was so wrong. Is it all like this?”

“Not at all!” Tealy turned to me with a radiant smile. “These are the gnomings’ farms. Oh, some other peoples live here too, but mostly the gnomes have their holes here and work the land. Wait till you see where we live, it’s even better!”

Presently we were flying over a landscape I recognized. There was a wide open piazza, stretching on and on, its floor tiled in a beautiful mosaic of multi-coloured tiles. In the centre was a huge fountain stretching up toward the wide blue sky, a huge column of intertwining silver roses whose petals were set with multi-coloured jewels. From the very topmost and largest flower ascended a jet of water. It filled the flower, spilled over and filled the next layer of flowers and then the next and so on, cascading droplets of sparkling water descended down the column, catching the light and making the jewels in the flowers refract in a thousand rainbow colours until they fell into a large marble pool, also shaped like a rose. From there the water was smoothly pumped up again to the top of the fountain. I stared at this amazing thing in awe.

The piazza was not as crowded as that of Tealy’s Elfhold but there were plenty of elves about. There were shops too, though not so large and grand they were beautiful, elegant and luxurious enough to delight any elf. There were also open air cafes where I could see elves sitting, enjoying a leisurely breakfast. I smiled across at Tealy. Yes, I could see her here. She would not be unhappy, she would fit in here.

The sofa suddenly dropped out of the air as if someone had shot it and landed hard on the tiles outside one of the cafes. Tealy and I didn’t move, we were completely winded. The restraining harness flew off, hit my wrist a horrible smack and disappeared into the sofa with a gleeful ping.

“Oh Bertha, that was really naughty.”

I looked around, startled, to see who had spoken. One of the elves who had been sitting at a nearby table had risen and come across to us. It is difficult to tell the age of an elf, but I thought this one was not young. There were silver streaks in her brown head fur and she had laugh lines at the corners of her big dark eyes. I would not say she was exactly pretty, but it was a kind, nice face that was used to looking happy. She wore a plain grey dress and a white cardigan over her shoulders.

“Good morning, Ma’m,” I said, giving her a little bow. “Who is Bertha?”

“And good morning to you, my dear. You must be Bertalius, Tealy’s bondmate, she has told me all about you. Come, we will have noe ma’ming here, I am Sayri and this is my sister Tayri. Now, Bertha, what have you been up to, you bad girl!”

To my astonishment she went to the sofa, leaned over it and smacked its arm reproachfully.

“Well, it is not altogether Bertha’s fault, Sayri,” Tealy laughed and straightened the crumpled antimacassar. “You see, we did not know that she was, what you might call, alive and we were rather disrespectful to her.”

“Oh dear!” Tayri came up and stroked Bertha’s arm.

“I am afraid she would take that rather hard. She has worked very hard for us for the last five hundred years. She is getting rather an old lady now and she can be, what shall we say? Just a leetle bit temperamental! There, Bertha you need not bridle, you know it is quite true! Go home and rest, my dear, we shall not need you anymore today.”

To my immense relief the old sofa rose into the air and went whining away and I for one was not sorry to see the back of her!

“Now, Tealy, my dear, Bert, may I call you Bert?” Sayri’s smiley face glowed all over and she took my hand and almost danced towards the laden table. “Come and sit down. Take a cup of tea and eat something while we talk.”

I was not sorry to obey. I had had a tough morning, no, make that a tough week. As I sat in a low, comfortable wicker chair, listened to the soft splashing of the fountain and the tinkle of a myriad wind chimes moving in the lightest breeze, drank fragrant tea and ate hot fresh rolls and fruit while Tealy and the two other elves talked about her new job in the elfin community I began to feel truly relaxed for the first time in I did not know how many days. I did not have to worry about Tealy. If she decided to go ahead with the move to Annwn she would be all right here.

And what about Cassie and I, I thought. Would we be all right here too? Ah well, that was something else again. Time would tell, I supposed.

After an hour in that peaceful place Tealy rose to go.

“We will see you next week, my dears,” said Sayri. “Come, you need not leave through the front gate, that is the long way around. We will show you our side dor, it is much quicker. You can come and go that way in future.”

Sayri led us across the piazza and turned into a tree-lined street full of pretty little white houses with pink front doors and pretty bow windows at the front.

“Will you have a house like this, Zaea?” I asked, I was really pleased.

“I don’t know yet.” She said.

At the end of the street was a high green hedge into which was set a white gate.

“This is our side door.” Sayri’s face was unusually serious. “Much trust is being put in you both. I know it will not be misplaced. I will see you again soon.”

She squeezed Tealy’s arm, turned and hurried back the way she had come.

Tealy and I looked at each other, then Tealy opened the gate and we walked through it together.

We both blinked. We were standing outside on the mountain. We stood on another plateau with short grass under our feet, at our backs was a high, grey wall with the white gate set into it. As we watched the gate seemed to fade as if it had never been.

“How will you get in if you need to?” I asked. “Someone has always met us and brought us in.”

“Not anymore.”

Tealy turned, set her hand on the wall and immediately the gate began to appear again. She took her hand away before it had fully become real.

“Sayri told me I could use this now, we will not need to be met anymore. If I need to come here unexpectedly next week, I can. Now, come on, Zaeahaan. Let’s go and see Cassie.”

I really did not mean to run this time, but when we got inside the colony there was Cass, pulling me harder than ever. It was almost as if she knew that I had been missing her and worrying my heart out about her all week.

“Go on.” Tealy sounded resigned. “You know you want to. I’ll catch up.”

I reached the cube at my usual dead pelt, ran to Cassie’s chair, picked her up and collapsed into my favourite swinging chair, completely out of breath and not caring about anything at all for the moment. Cassie gave me her hugest gummy smile and blew a bubble.

I needn’t go into details about the rest of the day. Nothing much happened. We stayed quiet in the cube with Mum, Dad and Cassie and it was a blessing. I really needed that down time and so did they.

There was no particular news, nothing much had changed. The family was still divided, the petition was still going ahead, we just didn’t talk about it. We drank tea and Mum toasted some nut bread, Tealy produced one of her gorgeous violet rolls, I looked after Cassie and tried very hard not to wonder how many more Sundays I would have like this.

I got back to the lair well in time for Down for Double, and it was a nice fun show. Afterwards I excused myself from the usual music, wine and pizza session, I was just so tired. I curled myself up in bed and was soon asleep.

Now I am a cheerful lep by nature, I mean I am naturally optimistic. Oh yes I know I can be very stroppy at times and throw tantrums like a two[year-old, I cry far too easily and I always do better when I have people I can talk to and get advice from, but the fact is I very rarely stay sad or down for long. Having said that, what happened next scared me half to death.

I woke up on the Monday morning feeling absolutely awful, sad, just one shade above desperate, as if everything was a complete waste of time. My famly wasn’t going to stop the petition, we weren’t going to win, I would have to give up my job which I absolutely loved and go and live in Annwn.

Now Annwn is all right in its way, I can understand why Tealy wants to live there, it’s a beautiful place. To visit. But I didn’t want to be stuck there for the rest of my life oh dear me no I did not! I admitted to myself that I would absolutely hate to live in Annwn, far away from Brian and L and the family I loved for all its faults. And yet what choice did I have? To keep Cassie safe and myself in any kind of shape to look after her Annwn was our only hope and we were zlendt lucky even to have it. If it had not been for my beautiful girl we would not even have had that choice at all.

I thought all this over as I dragged myself into a shower, got dressed and tidied things up. I didn’t bother with Facebook for the first time in I don’t know how long. I just didn’t have the heart. I went into the den and found Brian already at his computer and L lying on the sofa looking green around the gills and about as sad as I felt. She sat up and pattedher lap and I went across.

That was another awful thing. Since the ridiculous little torch I used to carry for her had been channelled into a much healthier flame, L and I had become very close indeed. When Brian was away or when she was unwell we spent hours together and she relied on me a lot. As for me, well she reads this journal so I’m not going to embarrass myself! Smiling here. But everyone knows where I go first when the chips are down. Enough said! And that’s not to say that Brian means any less to me. We’ve worked together for nearly four years with hardly a cross word, he pays me a wage when he doesn’t have to, he’s been the best employer, the best mentor, the best friend any lep could ever have. As I climbed into L’s lap I looked up at her and then across at Brian, head down over his work. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving either of them.

That day was a horror. L didn’t say anything much, but she didn’t seem to want to let me out of her sight either. Brian was quiet and working as if he didn’t want to think about anything else. In the evening we all sat on the sofa and the air was thick with things we couldn’t say.

It went on like that all week. I was so completely out of it that it wasn’t’ until Wednesday that I realized I hadnt’ had the usual Monday scroll from Babsy. I vaguely wondered what was up there, it was too warm for a sleep day surely. Oh well, I thought, I would find out in time.

On Friday morning L once more got ready to go out. She brought me my coat and cap and said we were going on another jaunt with Alan.

“But L,” I said doubtfully. “It’s raining hard.”

“Never mind.” L said. “It’ll be nice to get out and have some fresh air.”

So out we went. The rain poured down drearily and I thought even the sky was crying. Alan drove us to a little seaside town and luckily the rain stopped long enough for L to be able to get into her wheelchair so that Alan could push her along the marina. I road in her lap and had more pictures taken. Then we went back and Alan and L had coffee at Starbucks. I had to stay in the car of course, but L brought me out a big chocolate muffin so I was well happy.

The nice little jaunt lifted my spirits slightly but when we got back I soon relapsed into gloomsville and so did L. In fact the next day she was so ill she couldn’t do the Bear’s Lair show and I was in full on Doctor Bert mode. I thought I would at least have a decent day on the Sunday, home with my parents an see Cassie, but one look into the den first thing changed all that.

When I went in to get the breakfast Brian was in the den alone and looking worried.

“Bert,” he said, “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you stay at home today? L’s having one of her worst days and she needs you.”

Normally I would have done it in a heartbeat, but today I had particularly wanted, needed to get out of the Lair and go home to see Cassie and my parents. Still, I couldn’t exactly refuse, my time in the Lair might be running out.

“Of course I will.” I said, and went next door to call Tealy and then to see what I could do to help L.

That was a long and difficult day. L was well enough to do Down for Double but it was a close run thing. I was glad to be kept so busy because I couldn’t help thinking about things and wondering exactly where I’d be that time next week.

On Monday morning I awoke hoping to see the little pink ribboned scroll but instead there was one bearing the seal of a linden leaf. This was not good. Someone from Babsy’s house was writing to me and I would have bet every article of Gap clothing in my wardrobe the news was not going to be good. Sighing I reached for the scroll.

“Dear Bertalius.”

“I write to inform you that your niece Barbriella is serving a month in Laburnum for Conduct Unbecoming. I thought you would worry if you did not hear from her so am letting you know that she is in good health and working hard. Trusting that you are well I remain.”

“Yours in fellowship.”

“Lynnara Malkyna.”

O zlendt, I thought. Conduct unbecoming meant that Babsy had been caught with a boy again. That was not good! Laburnum was a small house where pupils in disgrace were sent, they had no privileges there, were strictly watched and made to work extremely hard. I hoped Babsy would learn something from the experience.

After I had been through my usual morning routine I went into the den to see how things were looking. I was pleased to see that L was looking a little more alert. When I had made a bit of breakfast Brian asked if I would like to go home for the day and I jumped at the chance. Unfortunately Tealy had not been able to rearrange her days so I went alone.

As soon as I got inside the colony doors I felt that old familiar tugging. I thought to myself, no, I am not going to run this time, I am going to walk down the thoroughfare in a dignified fashion. Unfortunately about halfway down the pulling got too strong and I reached Cassie’s side at a flat out sprint the same as always. My princess gave me her best gummy smile. She had apparently started reaching for things during the week and it was her new latest craze. As I picked her up she seemed to think my ear was some kind of exciting new toy and she started doing her very best to detach it from my head! Ouch or what? Suddenly I felt better. I dumped my coat and cap, laughed, rescued my ear before it was damaged beyond repair and sat down.

It was a really lovely day. I don’t quite know how I managed to have such a great time with everything hanging over me but I did. I stayed at Mum and Dad’s in the morning, but after lunch I kept a promise I had made and took Cassie down to see Vee who was now well enough to receive visitors. My stars! Didn’t we cause a stir when we walked down the thoroughfare, you would think no one had never seen a youngling before. Since the incident with the stones Mum had not dared take Cassie out again. Well I was not going to hide her, she had to have a normal life and the sooner the better.

Vee was up, wrapped in a blanket and sitting in a chair when we arrived at her cube. Bella and Bertie were luckily asleep so Vee was able to give Cass a good long cuddle. Cassie was extremely good except when she decided it might be interesting to grab Auntie Vee’s long braid of hair. Luckily I saw where the wind was blowing and managed to distract her.

I didn’t want to leave, but all too soon the day was over and it was time to go. I kissed Cassie goodbye and felt the old familiar lump rising in my throat. I knew that the next time I saw her I would know whether she would be a colony member or an outcast.

Listen, I know you want to know what happens next, I know we’re nowhere near up-to-date, but this entry is over thirty pages long and I am nowhere near finished. I also have a lot of things to do today and I really want to get this posted sometime before next Christmas, so I am going to leave it here for now.

I promise I will do my best to go on with the story very soon, after all, I don’t want to get too far behind and have to write another novel. Smiling here. I hope you have all had a great month. Thank you so much for reading my ramblings. See you soon.

Rather worried smiles.