March 2013

March 1.

Hi Everyone!

If I can kind of borrow a phrase from the wise old man with the long beard and half moon glasses: to my new readers, welcome. To my regular readers, welcome back! It really feels great to be sitting down here in my comfy sofa corner getting ready to bring you all my news again. I have to say I’ve missed my journal!

Well I hope the first two months of the new year have treated you all well. They have mostly been fairly quiet ones for me, though not entirely without event. AS I told you at the end of last year, January and February are the low point in a lep’s year. Our body clock is at its lowest ebb and, speaking for myself, I usually feel at my most tired, lethargic and out of sorts and I find it hard to drum up much energy. I have kept my work ticking over nicely, visited the family on Sunday as usual and of course I always make time to see my beautiful elfin girlfriend Tealy whenever I can.

We have had two slight dramas already this year. I managed to give my employer Brian, his partner L and Tealy a terrible scare by taking a sleep day quite near the beginning of January. This is part of a lep’s survival mechanism, when the outside temperature hits freezing his body just shuts down for twenty-four hours to conserve heat and energy and he takes a sleep day. This saves many lives in lep colonies in winter as you can imagine, especially among the poorest families. Usually I don’t get affected in cold weather because Brian and L’s flat, what we usually call The Lair, is always so lovely and warm. Unfortunately that particular night we had a cold snap, I turned the radiator off in the closet where I sleep which, through the good offices of my friend Hinky and Tealy magically morphs into a very comfortable bedroom, and I also managed to kick all my bed clothes off. When L found me in the morning I was whacked to the wide and nothing could wake me. I came too after twenty-four hours of course, but everyone was well panicked by then and I felt awful!

Later in the month I was the one who got a scare when I suddenly did not hear from Tealy for a whole week. She does some franticly secret and high powered job for the London Elfhold where she lives. Part of it involves training younger elves to do the same job and one of these had managed to get herself seen by a human which caused a lot of trouble and meant the whole of that Elfhold went into lockdown. No communications of any kind. I was in a complete spin I can tell you, it was awful! Still, as soon as she was able she came to the Lair and we sorted everything out but Tealy is trying to get a place in an Elfhold nearer to where I live and one with less burocracy. She also wants a less responsible job which will give her more free time so we can see more of each other.

On the family front I have a few bits of news to tell you. The leps uppermost in all our minds at the moment are my young nephew ikey and his much older wife Vee. She should have given birth to her twins by now but she has not. My sister Gwenice, our colony healer, and my sister-in-law Kori, a skilled woodsprite healer who acts as her assistant are getting slightly concerned. As for Mum well she is worried to bits and is driving Vee insane by calling in at the cube several times a day and pelting her with phone calls and Facebook messages containing advice from the sensible to the wildly superstitious. To tell the truth I’m worried about Vee myself. She and Ikey are so happy about these younglings, I would hate anything to go wrong. I’m praying hard to the helping hand to keep Vee safe and bring the twins to us soon.

What else? Oh yes, Tommo is living up to his reputation as the family disgrace. He got into another fight in the lockholes, attacked one of the guards, tried to steal extra food from the lockholes store rooms and got himself flung into solitary for a month. He really is a prize idiot! Dad was furious about it and you do not dare talk about him in front of Mum if you don’t want her to break whatever she is holding.

Ah, now for something much nicer. My niece Andelaine has a youngling on the way! I am over the moon about this. I helped her and her husband Gordy get together last summer when Andi’s Father, my useless brother Bartle, would not allow them to marry. They ran away to Brian’s old house and our colony Handholder married them from the Lair, it was a lovely wedding. They are a great couple, always hard working and happy as larks. Andi was a great help in looking after her younger brother and sisters when their mother was forced by Barty’s brutality to run away from home.

Talking of which, Marni still rules the roost in Barty’s cube and she is getting on really well. My ace forager brother Tovey tells me she is a good worker and she recently got a promotion which means there are a few more grains going into that household. We wondered if Barty would turn his face to the wall when all his schemes came to nothing but he hasn’t. Marni thinks he has come to terms with things now but I know my brother too well. I think he is enjoying playing the invalid and he has not forgotten there are twelve impressionable lings in that cube. He was not an advocate all those years for nothing and he is supremely good at mind games. If he could just get one or two of the lings in his corner Marni will have trouble and then some. She needs to watch him and I have told her so but she is not listening to me at present.

One more piece of family news and this makes me very sad: I heard just this week that my poor, dear old Uncle Arf has not taken this winter well at all and is weakening. Uncle Arf has been our family character for years. You would always see his brisk, spry little figure with its mop of snowy curls at every family gathering, always in the thick of things, joining in the talk with a ling on each knee. Beside him would always be his very much younger wife Auntie Kitty, beautiful, blooming and obviously very much in love with him. I never met anyone who had a bad word to say for them. I always love going to their cube too, you can feel the atmosphere as soon as you go inside, the whole place seems to have happiness built right into the walls and floor. Uncle Arf has had bad spells before but he has always rallied. At the same time he’s not getting any younger. He’s nearly a hundred and ten for star’s sake! But when I think of him setting out for the High Country I just want to cry.

Well I think that has kind of brought you up to date on the background so let me fill you in with a few of my goings on though to tell you the truth it has been zlenky quiet around here lately! I will just go back to the beginning of this week, that seems as good a place to start as anywhere.

I woke up on Monday morning shivering with my radiator going full pelt. My stars it was a freezing cold day! I wondered whether I would get my usual little Monday morning scroll from the Old Country. Last year my niece Barbriella, Babsy I always call her, had been accepted to the academy of Shana-Sherin where leps do seventeen rigorous years of training to fit them to live and work with humans. Each week Babsy is allowed to write two letters. One to her parents, one to a chosen mentor, preferably someone who has already attended Shana-Sherin. Babsy has chosen me and for most of the year has kept me entertained with her ups and downs as she has tried to learn the ins and outs of human behaviour and why they do what they do!

Let me tell you, there is nowhere so cold, damp, wet and bleak as the Old Country in winter! We used to lose more time than we liked to sleep days, so for quite a few Mondays I had not seen a scroll from Babsy but this Monday I was lucky. There it was, small, tightly furled and tied with its perky pink ribbon. I snatched it up and unrolled it eagerly.

Dear Uncle Bert.”

“I hope you are in good health and that the helping hand is serving you well. I am in good health and have received a fair report this week.”

“Uncle Bert this place is mad. It’s zlenky freezing and they is teaching us to make something they calls I scream! It won’t work proper and it goes all curdled and then when you does get it to work you has to put it in one of them cold places for a bit then yank it out to beat it soft again and me hands is all numb and Blissa said it looked like sick so I got mad and dropped the box on me foot and me hands is friz and me feet is numb and when it was ready it’s so zlenkin hard I couldn’t scoop none out! No wonder they calls it that, you screams trying to make the zlorf stuff! Humans is stupid I said it a hundred times!”

“May the sun shine on you always and oh that’s stupid that is! I reckon the sun’s slugged off and we won’t see it till Saint patty’s!”

“Love and I Scream From Babsy Boo!”

Oh that Babsy, how I do love her! I scream indeed! I screamed with laughter reading that. After which I wrote back to her explaining the vagueries of ice cream, showered, dressed, made the bed, tidied my closet and got on with the day.

I booted up Imogen iPad and checked my Email. The usual ream of junk from Hinky. He’s an elf and used to be my very best friend at one time. He worked for L before she knew Brian at all when they were working for the same radio station and we were always going out together, getting ourselves zaired, that’s our word for drunk, having lots of laughs and generally raising cain. I have calmed down a lot since then but nothing will ever change old Hink. Of course, there’s an awkwardness which I haven’t dared go into with him. I don’t suppose I will ever need to while he works in the US, sends me reams of junk, slightly rude pictures and Emails of about two paragraphs telling me not much of anything.

Once I had Hinky’s stuff safely in deletesville I had a look at what else was going on. A lovely Email from my favourite sister Mella to let me know that she, her husband Derry and their five amazing lings were all keeping ok and thanking Tealy and I for coming over yesterday. We had all had a riotously good time at their cube the day before. There was also a very worried mail from Mum to say there was no change in Vee’s condition and she was about ready to pop and feeling very fed up. Ikey was terribly anxious and did not like to leave her but he had to. He had a job to go to and then he would need to forage. Mum had asked Vee to come over for the day but Vee preferred to stay in her own cube. To be honest I did not blame her. Mum means well always, bless her, but her fussing and chattering can get a bit too much at times.

I dealt with the few other bits and pieces I needed to and logged on to Facebook. Nothing much there. A few of the family were around and I said a few hellos. By that time it was time to make breakfast. I love breakfast time at the Lair, I always have. I cook bacon, sausages and pancakes, sometimes I make fruit salad and we always have fresh coffee. We all sit around the table in the den and eat and chat about the day ahead.

It was a fairly ordinary kind of day, Brian was working from home, L was reading and just basically nerdling about, I had audio production work to do so we all just got on with our own things. I really like these kind of days. I cooked a nice dinner in the evening and when the work was all done we snuggled on the sofa with a film, then some nice music and a glass of wine. Before I went to bed I had my usual phone call with Tealy. She sounded a bit discouraged.

“What’s the matter, Zaea,” I asked.

“Oh nothing,” she said.

“Bilby’s just totally impossible and I must have sent fifty Emails to fifty departments in the Cardiff Elfhold and all I get is evasions and redirections. I hate it here now. I just want to be out of here.”

I tried to comfort her and she did seem more cheerful before we said goodbye but I felt for her. It is awful to ask questions and get no further forward. I do not think the Cardiff Elfhold is going to be any good anyway, it sounds as if it will be just as bad as London.

We were up in good time on Tuesday. I did my morning routine in quick time as I wanted to have breakfast ready nice and early. Brian was leaving for a two day business trip and I wanted to make sure everything was ready for him before he went. The status was still completely quo with the family, nothing new at all. Another mail from Hinky, he had yet another new girlfriend and I wondered how long this one would last.

We all had breakfast together then Brian got on with some work while L packed Brian’s lunch and I got the case packed. When Brian had gone L and I settled down to what we usually do when he is away. Basicly I sit on her lap and we read, play iPhone games, listen to music, watch films and generally laze about in a most reprehensible and lovely way!

Wednesday was another very quiet day. Tealy finally got some answers from Cardiff Elfhold and they were not ones she wanted to hear. She would need to fill in a huge questionnaire if she wanted to move in there, join a lengthy waiting list, provide references signed and witnessed, in short it looked as though she would be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. At least she knew people where she was and had friends there. In Cardiff she would not know a soul.

“If I thought that were the only problem I wouldn’t care, Zaeahaan,” my girl told me on the phone that night. I still can’t get used to hearing her use that word. Zaeahaan is a lep endearment, rather a nice one actually.

“But I think I would be at the bottom of the pecking order there. Bilby might be an old martinette at times but he has a soft center and he is pretty lenient about giving me time off if I really need it. I’d get no such leeway in Cardiff. I just don’t think it’s going to work!”

“Never mind, Zaea,” I tried to comfort her.

“We’ve managed before, we’ll manage again.”

“And what if there’s another black diamond?” she asked.

“I don’t suddenly want to disappear again and not be able to reach you, and I want to see you more than just once a week. No, I’ve got to find an answer and I will!”

That’s my Tealy girl, determination to the tops of her beautiful fluffy ears. I do not see what she can do though.

Brian returned on Wednesday evening and we all had a lovely roast lamb dinner followed by a cosy catch up. As I headed for my closet I wondered vaguely about taking a huge step, what Brian and L would think, whether there would be room, work, finances and lots more things. How could I work it? But as usual when I thought about that my insides went into their usual fluster and flat spin. I might not know much about anything but I know I am not ready for that yet. I am not mature enough, I am just not.

I am glad I had those two quiet days because Thursday was mad, mad busy. We all had a good deal of work to do, I had a lot to do to help Brian and in the afternoon L went out to visit her Grandma. Nothing much new was going on with the family, for a wonder, except Mum was complaining that Dad was doing too much and had strained his back yet again which had made him very bad-tempered. Uncle Arf had brightened a little but everyone was still worried and Gwenice was keeping a very close eye on him.

I spent the day with headphones on, listening to audio till I thought my head was going to turn inside out. I was glad to have a break and cook dinner. I went early to my closet and played a particularly mindless shoot ‘em up game on my iPad until my eyes crossed before falling into bed.

When I woke up this morning I thought it was going to be really really quiet. I would just get up, potter about on Imogen iPad and then, once I had Brian and L settled I would buckle down and write this journal entry. I had not got much to write so I would have it up by lunch time. Ha ha! Cue hollow laugh!

I just had breakfast cleared away, in fact I had the last mug in my hands and was drying it up. Suddenly I heard the sound of someone zapping and a shrill excited whoop so loud I jumped about ten feet, I swear! The mug went flying halfway to the Old Country and if I had not done a lightning fast freezing spell it would have been smashed to smithereens which would really have pleased L, not! I grabbed it from where it was hovering in mid-air, put it back on the mug tree, hung up the tea-towel and then, with studied slowness and the snarliest snarl on my face you ever did see, I turned around to see who was causing all this zlanny commotion.

The snarl melted into a big smile in about two nano-seconds when I saw Tealy standing there. She was looking totally gorgeous in a soft cream suede jacket over slim-fitting camel-coloured trousers. Under the jacket she wore a cashmere sweater in soft, warm colours and her high-heeled boots matched her jacket. She was wearing cream and gold scrunchies in her hair and slim gold bangles. I got my breath back with an effort and managed to say something sensible like:

“What are you doing here?”

Really, my wit amazes me sometimes!

Tealy looked as if she was about to burst with excitement. I tried to help her off with her jacket, kiss her ears, give her a hug but she wasn’t having it.

“Oh leave it alone leave it alone!” she was gabbling, flapping my hands away fromher.

“I absolutely need to go into the closet. Bert, you have to lend me your iPad, I mean now, this second. I need to look something up.”

“But Zaea,” I was baffled.

“Your computers are much more sophisticated than ours. If you need information surely you can find it better in Elfhold.”

“Oh for iron’s sake, silly!”

She grabbed my arm and pushed me towards the closet door, totally ignoring Brian and L who were both in the room and completely mystified.

“I can’t find this information in Elfhold,” she said through gritted teeth. “You know they only tell us what we need to know. This is something I heard a rumour about this morning and I have to check it out. Come on, Zaea, don’t waste time! Bilby’s going to have my ears if I take too long!”

Well we went into the closet and I booted up Imogen for her. Then, if you will believe me, she grabbed Imogen, pushed me out of my very own closet and shut the door.

“I’m not having you breathing down my neck, darling,” she said. “I need to find this in peace and quiet. Now run away and play nicely.”

Well! I mean to say! Me, play nicely? I was just flabbergasted. So I went back into the den, tried to answer Brian and L’s questions which was very difficult as I knew no more than they did and just got on with things.

At about twelve O’clock there was a real awkwardness. L’s Dad came to take her out. Normally I would make a beeline for my closet but I couldn’t get in the door! Tealy had put some kind of locking spell on it so I had to hide in the zlendt bathroom, of all the inconveniences!

For about five hours that little minx kept me hanging about biting my nails while she used my iPad, took up my closet and did not tell me a thing. Then, if you please, she came out, gave me a huge hug, kissed my ears and rubbed my nose, said “Yay! Thanks so much, sweetheart, sorry to have bothered you, Brian and L. See you Sunday, Darling.” And zapped out without explaining a zlanny word!

Mad? Was I mad? I was ready to spit fire and chew brimstone! That is what L says when she gets angry and now I know how she feels. Moon above I was wild! Still, there was nothing to be done. I tried phoning but it went straight to voicemail. I stamped around the den for a while letting off steam until suddenly I was picked up off my feet and carried bodily to the sofa and a very familiar lap.

“Bert,” said L. “Do us all a favour and shut up. Tealy will tell you what she was looking at in her own good time and in the mean time you’re giving us all a headache. I hate being kept in the dark as much as anyone but there’s nothing to do but just wait till she wants to explain so come on, let’s just do something else. Why don’t you write your journal?”

So that’s what I did and now you are all up to date! I do wonder though what on earth Tealy is up to.

Well there you go, that is my first entry for this year and I hope it is ok. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you will be back to read more. My stars is that the time? No wonder I am so hungry. Dinner is long overdue I had better hop off and see to it. See you again soon.

Big smiles.

March 21

Hi everyone.

My stars and holy moon! Where do I begin? I have got so much to tell you my head is spinning around at the very thought of it! It is getting on for three weeks since I wrote to you last and so much has happened I can hardly believe it! Well, babbling won’t get you up to date with my news, you might want to grab a cup of something and a chocolate bar, this is going to take a while. Ok, are you sitting comfortably, as L says when she is going to be long-winded? Then I’ll begin!

My story begins on Saturday morning, March 2. I was woken up at some cold dark hour, well it was about 5 AM. My phone buzzed beside my head and I reached for it with a snarl.

“What?” I mumbled.

“Bert.” It was my Dad sounding gruffer than I’d heard him for a very long time. “Can you get ‘old of that girl of yours? Vee’s in a bad way. Kori’s done all she can but she don’t think we’ll keep ‘er. Ikey’s frantic, well we all are. Tealy’s got the And stronger than any of us, she might be able to do somefin.”

I went cold all over. We had always known that having younglings at Vee’s age was not going to be plain sailing but I don’t think any of us had really thought it might be life threatening, not with skilled healers like Kori and Gwenice around.

“I’ll call Tealy right away, Dad,” I said. “We’ll be with you as soon as we can.”

I hung up and rapidly dialled Tealy’s number. The phone seemed to ring for ages before a sleepy voice answered.
”Led poison! This had better be good!”

“It’s not good, Zaeahana,” I said, choking back the ridiculous tears which were threatening. I quickly explained and Tealy was alert at once.

“Oh darling!” she said. “What a terrible thing! Of course I’ll do everything I can! Look, get yourself ready and zap straight there. I’ll meet you in the bushes. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

I jumped out of bed and flung on the first warm clothes I could find. Next I ran into Brian and L and woke them up. I babbled my story into their ears before they were properly awake and once I had got them understanding they gave me immediate permission to go.

“Stay for as long as you’re needed, Bert,” said Brian. “I really hope Tealy can help. Let us know what’s happening if and when you can.”

L gave me a quick hug and I was gone. In the blink of an eye I was standing outside, shivering in the patch of scrubby bushes we all used to zap in. Tealy joined me a moment later. It was the first time I had seen her look anything but pristine and glamorous. She was wearing jeans and a thick white sweater beneath her thick soft blue coat, her ear hair was loose and she wore no bangles at all. AS her bangles were not just bangles but some franticly magical technology which Elfhold used, among other things, to keep tabs on her whenever she went outside I imagined they would not be happy about this.

Tealy gave me a brief, fierce hug and rubbed her nose on mine, then we entered the colony without a word.

The thoroughfare was just beginning to fill up with leps going to early work and we had some trouble pushing our way through to Ikey’s cube. We said little but held tight to each other’s hands. We were both filled with the terrible fear that we would be too late. When we got to Ikey’s we pushed aside the curtain and I for one was praying hard to the hand that we would be in time and that Tealy would be able to help.

Everything was deathly quiet inside. Ikey was sitting in a chair looking white and drawn. Dad was piling wood into the stove and the place was full of steam from the huge pots of water boiling on it. There was a screen drawn around the swing bed. From behind it I could hear the weak cries of hungry newborn younglings but apart from that and the crackling of wood you could have heard a dewdrop fall.

As we came in Ikey jumped up and came towards us.

“Thank the hand.” He said. “Tealy, I know you’ll ‘elp my Zashayla. Please, do whatever you can.”

I blushed furiously. You don’t say the lep equivalent of beloved in front of people. It’s a word you use strictly to each other. I had never said it to Tealy although I had often thought it. Tealy did not bat an eyelash, well, she wouldn’t, she did not know that Ikey had just done the equivalent of undressing in front of us. She pressed a hand to Ikey’s shaking shoulder and went past him and behind the screen.

I heard some low murmuring. Kori’s voice came through and Mum’s. I could only catch a word here and there but they told me enough.

“Pushing All day…used up too much of ‘er strength…Far too big… Feet first… Both fine but she ain’t strong enough… Should never ‘ave ‘appened at ‘er age!”

There was a pause and then I saw the shimmer of Tealy’s spell work. I sighed inwardly with relief. My girl was on the job, it would be ok. But it wasn’t. I heard Tealy click her tongue then the spell shimmered again and again.

There was a long silence, everything seemed to stop, even the mewling cries of the twins. Then Mum began to sob.

“Hush your noise, LilyBella.” Tealy’s voice was low and hoarse. She put her tousled head around the screen, her face was hot and flushed and her eyes were huge.

“Bert, come here, I need you.”

“Me?” I almost squeaked. “What can I do?”

Tealy came right around the screen, came up to me and put her hand into mine, she was sweating.

“Listen to me, Zaeahaan,” she said. “Vee is nearly at high country’s gate, very nearly. I am trying to give her my strength to bring her back but I don’t have enough. If you combine your helping hand with my own we might be able to do it.”

“But how can we do that?” I stared at her stupidly.

Tealy pushed up my sleeve, turned over my wrist and showed me the silver white leaf bonded to my skin. I stared in astonishment. The WishSilver token of Tealy’s love and protection that she had given me at Christmas was so much a part of me now that I scarcely ever thought about it.

“It will be hard, and it will tire us both out, but it’s Vee’s only hope,” said Tealy, looking into my face as if she could see right inside me. “Will you help?”

For answer I got up, took her hand and headed around the screen. Kori and Mum came out past me as Tealy led me forward to where a dim lamp was burning.

A sad sight awaited me. Vee lay in the swing bed looking so pale that she made the white sheet under her look grey by comparison. You could practically see through her skin to the bones underneath. Her eyes were closed and her lips were turning blue. Her chest moved just the tiniest bit with her shallow breaths. Beside her two tiny blanket-wrapped bundles squirmed feebly.

“What must I do?”

Tears were choking me. I thought of old Bossy, jilted and alone, feeding the poorest leps in the colony with soup and homilies. I thought of Ikey wooing her with earwiggy flowers, of their unlikely love and the strength they had given each other. I remembered helping Vee to visit Ikey in prison, attending their quiet, dignified wedding, I remembered their joy in each other, the love that shone from them so brightly that you could almost see it like a warm glow. It mattered not a jot that he was seventeen now and she was in her fifties. Their souls were meant to travel life’s path together and it was just too cruel that Vee should be taken to the high country in giving him these younglings. I would not let it happen if I could do anything to prevent it.

“Give me your wrist, Zaeahaan,” Tealy whispered. “Don’t take your hand away from mine whatever you feel. Think about how much you love Vee and how much you want her to stay with us, and pray with all your might!”

I held out my wrist, the silver white leaf seemed to shine with its own eerie light in the dimness of the cube. Tealy touched her star to my leaf. She lifter her other hand and began to flutter her fingers. They moved so fast they became a blur. The leaf grew scorching hot, my whole arm burned and tingled but I did not move an inch. I focussed all my thoughts on Vee, I concentrated on that unlikely, amazing couple and how very, very much I wanted them to stay together. I prayed as I have never prayed before.

The air grew thick, turned silver white, shimmered and buzzed. A window seemed to open in the world and the smell of all the orchards blooming in the high country came through it. Just for a moment wonder, joy and delight lived in the cube, brilliant light, divine melody, fragrance of bliss.

Then Tealy gave a little cry and dropped limply to the floor. The window closed and the light vanished. I swayed on my feet, then sat down hard on the floor. We had let it go, we had lost it. It was all no good. I put my head in my hands and let the tears come.

“What you crying for, our Bert?”

The voice was a thready whisper but it made me spin around. Vee’s eyes were open. The blueness had gone from her lips and while she was still paper white she was breathing normally and looked somehow as if she belonged to this world again, not to High Country.

“Kori!” I almost shouted. “Mum! Tealy did it!”

Kori bustled around the screen followed by Mum and Ikey. Ikey enfolded Vee in his arms. He covered her with kisses while tears ran down his face. I should have felt deeply embarrassed, leps absolutely never ever ever do this kind of thing, but I did not. It was just right, I think I would have done the same if I had been him. Mum and Kori gently detached him in the end, made him sit down beside the bed. Kori saw Tealy lying on the floor.

“She’s worn ‘erself out, Bert,” said Kori. “She’s going to need plenty of rest. You best get ‘er ‘ome. There ain’t no more you can do now anyway. With the ‘and’s Elp Vee’ll do fine now, thanks to you an’ your good girl.”

Getting Tealy home was easier said than done. She was still out cold. Though very slim and lithe she was only two inches shorter than me and I would not be able to carry her all the way down the thoroughfare and out to the zapping bushes. I thought for a bit but then decided, low country with it, I would just have to take a chance. I bent down, lifted Tealy in my arms and zapped right there and then.

Of course, I could not take Tealy home to her flat in Elfhold, I had no pass to get myself in, so I took her home to the Lair. We zapped into my closet and I laid Tealy’s limp little form in my bed, took off her coat and trainers, covered her up and tucked her in. next I opened Tealy’s oversize bag, which she never went anywhere without and which I had luckily thought to pick up before I zapped, and gingerly rootled in it till I found her phone. I prayed she would not have imposed a password on it because I needed to find a number, if it was there. I was lucky, it unlocked to my touch and I opened up her contacts.

Stars, it did feel weird to be messing about on her phone, I did not like it you may be sure, but I was doing it for a reason. Tealy had a mass of contacts and it took me a while to find the right one. Finally, with my heart fluttering, I found it and dialled.

“Yes, speak!” snarled Bilby’s voice. “You again, young Tealy me girl? Well, what is it this time? If it’s more time off I’ll have your ears in a sandwich with pickle relish I will!”

“I’m sorry to bother you, Mr Bilby,” I said hesitantly. There was a snort at the other end like that of an angry walrus. “My name is Bertalius…”

“yes, I know exactly who you are, young excrescence,” it came down the phone so loud my head was nearly blown off and I had to hold the instrument about six inches away from my offended eardrum. “You’ve stolen Tealy’s phone! What is the meaning of this outrage?”

“With respect, sir,” I began through gritted teeth, “I have not stolen it, I have borrowed it. Tealy is right here. She has been taken ill and will not be in to work today. I wanted to tell you so you will not think she is absent without leave.”

“Right here, is she?” boomed the objectionable Bilby. “Right where, exactly? She has no pass to go outside. She is supposed to be in Elfhold asleep in her bed. What has that young minx been up to now? Come on, speak out!”

I related the story of our early morning alarm with many a harrumph and grunt from the other end. When I had finished there was a long silence.

“Hmm,” said Bilby. “Didn’t have time to get a pass, I do see that. But listen here, young fella me lep, she can’t keep poppin’ here and poppin’ there at her own will and pleasure. There’s rules you know and she’s breaking them more than is good for her. I’ve covered for her as much as I can but if you keep spittin’ in the wind it’s goin’ to land in your face one of these fine days! You tell her that from me, young er, young, how’s ya doodle.”

“Yes, sir, I will.” I answered meekly. I was surprised. Old Bilby had a soft spot for my girl for all his bluster.

“And tell her to get her stupid furry ears back here as soon as she’s awake or I’ll have them fried.” He suddenly barked.

“Yes sir,” I said again.

“With hot sauce!” he added as a parting shot, and hung up.

I locked Tealy’s phone and put it back in her bag. I was by now feeling rather ill and utterly trashed, as L says. I had used most of my strength helping Tealy with the healing spell and the rest of it zapping us both home. I supposed I had better find some help, no, second thoughts, sitting down or even laying down seemed a better idea. I swayed blearily on my feet and was just stumbling dizzily towards the sofa when the closet door opened. L stood there. Wicked, I thought, there was no more comforting sight in the world than to see L standing there smiling at me. If only I couldn’t see two of her it would be ok. No, make that three of her. Weird!.

“I thought I heard you come back,” she said. Her voice boomed and each word fell like a thunderclap. “Were you able to do anything for poor Vee?”

Poor Vee. Poor Vee. My mind ran in circles like a mouse on a treadmill. L’s nose swelled up like a helium balloon and floated away. Gummie bears came bouncing out of her ears and began to dance square dances on top of her head to a ridiculous tinny little tune piped from the dimensions of the demented. I opened my mouth in astonishment and a huge stream of bright pink bubbles came out.

A giggle got as far as the first insane note. Blue and purple fish flew through the air, golden piglets came snuffling out of my wardrobe and erupted into showers of silver stars.

“’sall right,” I slurred. “We saved her.” And I blacked out.

I woke up and wished I hadn’t. My head ached as if it was the day after Saint paddy’s and my limbs felt as if they’d been weighed down with led. I forced my eyes open, winced, cursed fluently in lep and shut them again. Bright daylight was coming in through vertical blinds which meant I was not in my closet. I vaguely wondered where I was, what time it was and why I felt so awful. I thought even more vaguely that I should try to get up, use the cleansing place and get a drink. Before I could do anything about anything I went back to sleep.

When I woke up again it was dark. My head still felt terrible but it was bearable now. My mouth, on the other hand, felt as if an army of foragers had been marching through it with dirty boots on. I groaned and sat up. A firm hand pushed me back down again.

“Lie still, sweetie,” L’s voice sounded normal again. “You’re ok. Your Mum says you need to keep still and quiet.”

“L, I need a drink.” I managed to croak. “And how do you know what my Mum says about anything?”

L giggled.

“When you fell down in a faint at my feet I had to Email her and then she phoned me.” I felt L’s arm around my shoulders then a glass was lifted to my mouth and I gulped ice cold orange juice gratefully. “You know your Mum. Once she starts talking it’s quite difficult to get her to stop. I now know what she says about most things. Hush now, sweetheart,” she went on, stroking my still aching head, “Try and get some more sleep and don’t worry about anything.”

I raised heavy eyes and looked around. I was lying beneath l’s spare duvet on my closet sofa. Tealy was laying across from me in my bed, still completely flat out. L sat between us in a chair with her iPod on her lap. I closed my eyes and sighed. Everything was ok. I went back to sleep.

The next time I woke up I was lying in my own bed and it was morning. I smelt coffee and looked around to see Brian standing by my bed with a full and frothing mug.

“Morning,” he said. “If you’re planning to go home today it’s time you surfaced. I thought you could probably do with this.”

I sat up groggily, took the mug and slugged down a hefty shot of it. The caffeine hit my system like a kick from Clancy’s horse, as they say in Shana-Sherin, and I began to feel more like myself.

“What time is it?” I asked. “Where’s Tealy? Is she ok? Have you had breakfast? Why didn’t you wake me before?”

“One at a time!” Brian laughed. “It’s just gone nine, Tealy’s a bit tired but otherwise fine, she’s gone back to Elfhold and says if you don’t mind she needs to stay home and take things easy today so she’ll see you in the week sometime. L and I have had breakfast and we didn’t wake you until we had to or your Mum would have had something to say about it. Probably a lot of things!”

Brian left soon after that and I leaned back against my pillows, drank my coffee and thought about the last couple of strange days. Then I jumped up, showered and dressed, tidied things up and headed off to the colony.

I found Mum and Dad’s cube absolutely packed to the rafters with relatives. They were all drinking tea or Zair and talking over Vee’s narrow escape from High Country and how lucky it was that Tealy and I had been able to do something to help, although nobody understood what. Kori and Mum, I gathered, had told the story over and over again and it had spread all over the place, losing nothing in the telling. Leps were looking at me as if I were about to grow wings and fly at any second, make flowers grow around my feet or shoot fire out of my eyes. I was given a hero’s welcome but I felt a complete fraud. The hand helps me no mored even then only because I had bound it to her own elf magic.

I said as little as I could in answer to all the questions, climbed up to a chair out of the way and nursed a cup of mint tea. Dad came up to join me as soon as he could and I asked if Vee and the twins were doing all right.

“Vee’ll do ok in time,” Dad said. “Gwen an’ Kori’ll make sure she takes fings easy an’ gets the potions she needs but they say it’ll be a while before she’s back like she used to be. It ain’t all goin’ to be plain sailin’.”

“How’s Ikey holding up?” I asked.

“’e’s a good boy that.” Dad gave one of his rare smiles. “Got ‘is ‘ands full wiv the twins. Vee’s too out of it to do much for ‘em yet. Mum an’ me offered to ‘elp but nope, Ikey says ‘e’s their Dad, ‘e’ll take care of ‘em.”

“I would have expected no less of him,” I said, draining my cup. “Are the twins ok? I didn’t even have time to find out what they are. Have they had time to think of names?”

My Dad’s face split into a big, slow, mischievous grin.

“The twins is fine, better than the rest of us I reckon, that was ‘alf the trouble. Huge they is, you never seen a fatter pair of younglings! They’re keepin’ Ikey busy demandin’ bottles night an’ day. Never stop eatin’. Oh, and yeah, they got names.”

He stopped and gave a deep throaty chuckle.

“They’re callin’ the boy Bertalius.” He laughed at my face as I goggled in utter shock. “They say wivout a certain Bertalius they know the little chap wouldn’t Ave no Mother. They decided to call the girl TealyBella.”

When I heard that my own smile was the image of Dad’s. “Vee says ‘er little girl is goin’ to be named after the two fems ‘er Mum and Dad admire an’ love the most.”

Suddenly I felt the old familiar silly lump in my throat and my stupid eyes filled with stupid tears, but luckily Dad saw a pile of cups that needed filling so he didn’t see me being a wimp.

The rest of that day was lovely, if a bit tiring. I was very glad to get back to my warm cosy closet a little earlier than usual. I thought I would just curl up on the sofa for half an hour before I got ready for Down for Double and have a rest. The next thing I remember I was opening my eyes in my bed. It was early morning, birds were singing outside and a little scroll was sitting on my pillow, its pink ribbon winking at me prettily. I reached for it to see what my niece Babsy had been doing at Shana-Sherrin this week.

“Dear Uncle Bert.”

“I hope you are in good health and that the helping hand is serving you well. I am in good health and have received a good report this week.”

“Hey Uncle it’s not long to St Paddy’s hurray. We is having the day off and games and a humungulous tea and all the houses is doing plays an old Delian will give a prize for the best one. Only thing is this year they tells us we has to do a human fairy story to see how well we has learned our human study lessons. Them stories is soppy and they doesn’t have many people in so lots of us isn’t in the plays and it aint fair. Mind, Tessabeth, which she is head girl of Linden, had a good idea and we is doing The Pied Piper so me and Kryss is being rats. This is not fair neither but at least we is in it. Tessabeth is the piper, ain’t that a zlenkin rotten swiz?”

“May the sun shine on you always and the helping hand preserve you from harm.”

“Your affectionate niece.”

“Barbriella Nilena they says if I don’t write it I’ll get a mark it’s a swiz.”

Well I have to say I think that is quite clever of Tessabeth, whoever she is. The story of the Pied Piper of Hamlin has scope for as many actors as they want in it, either as the procession of rats or the procession of children following the piper into the magic mountain. stars, I wished I could have been at Shana-Sherrin to see the plays and enjoy that enormous tea, if my memory served me correct that tea really had been something!

I booted up Imogen iPad and had a look at my Email. A lovely mail from Tealy caught my eye. She hoped I was feeling better, she certainly was. She suggested we have dinner together in the week to make up for missing Sunday, how about Wednesday night? I wrote back that I didn’t think there would be a problem. I had a nice mail from Mella to let me know everything was fine with her and her crowd. Then there was the usual ream of junk from Hinky, my elfin friend in the States. I almost missed the real Email from him in all the rubbish. Apparently he and his girlfriend had broken up, the weather was horrible, his job was boring, the baseball season was about to start so he was well happy and he would soon find another girl. I was skimming my eyes over the usual three paragraphs of nothing and then I saw something that nearly made my eyes stand out.

“I’m thinking of takin me some time off soon, old buddy. I haven’t had me a vacation since I took this crumby job so I guess I’s owed. Say, you think Miz Bear would let me camp out on the closet floor fer a day or two so’s you an me could catch up, go out, get us a few beers an have us a good time? WE could even go some place an get us some of that weird fizzy wine you like so much if’n you really wants to, I don’t mind. My word! We did have us some great times when we was together in them old days, didn’t we, old pal? I miss ‘em, tell you the truth. I sure would like to see you again, an’ I’d like to see that little Tealy gal again too. I think maybe I sorta mighta been too hasty lettin’ that ‘un get away, what you think? I guess it’s too late now, but then again, she always did go fer me! Ifn’ I was extra an’ special nice to her, well, you know what I’ma getting at old buddy! Anyway, will you ax Miz Bear an lemmee know?”

My first reaction on reading this was nearly to throw poor Imogen iPad right across the room, I just managed to prevent myself. I put her down gently, then erupted out of the closet and dashed into the den. Brian and L were in there, sitting at their computers doing their morning catch up. In a moment I was pouring out the whole story.

“Hinky thinks he can just walk back in here and take Tealy back again after everything he put her through!” I said, stomping up and down the room. “He really does have a nerve! He’s not coming here, he’s not sleeping on the closet floor, he’s not coming within a donkey’s roar of Tealy, he’s not!”

“Oh dear.” L’s voice was quiet. “Bert, I’m sorry, this is a bit awkward.”

I turned and glared at her.

“What?”

“Well I’ve just had an Email from Hink. It’s the first one I’ve had in ages. He asked how I was, rambled on for a bit and then said about coming to see you and Tealy. He talked as if he knew you two were a couple. He asked about camping out in your closet and said he’d already put the idea to you. I’ve just written back and told him that would be fine with us. I’m sorry, sweetie, I should have checked with you first but he’s your best friend, I thought you’d want to see him.”

I gazed at L in speechless fury, I felt like dotting her in the eye! Then I suddenly deflated. I sank down on to the sofa and pressed my head into my hands.

“Stars, L, Brian, what on earth shall I do? He’s messed with Tealy’s head enough, I can’t have him putting her through anymore, it’s just not on. She’s my girl now, if he tries to mess that up, well, I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t want him to come here.”

“Did you ever tell him about you and Tealy?” That was Brian, practical as always.

“No I didn’t,” I said a little sheepishly, “Somehow I never could find the right words.”

“Well now might be a good time. If you don’t want to see him at all, tell him so truthfully. If you do, make it clear that he’s to leave Tealy alone.”

I thought about that one. Hink and I had shared some great days. We had worked side by side all through the preparations to launch Team-Fm, we had had some riotous outings, rides on his death trap of a motor bike, long days at his place or Brian’s house watching sport and chatting, he had been the closest friend I had ever had. If I subtracted the Tealy problem it would be nice to see him again. But how would Tealy react? He had broken her heart completely. Surely she wouldn’t want him around again and if she did, I faced my deepest innermost dread. If she did, would old flames be rekindled? Would she still want me after she had seen Hinky again?

I voiced these thoughts to Brian and L as I got breakfast ready and we thought about the problem as we ate together in our usual companionable way.

“I think total openness is going to be the key here.” L set down her coffee mug and gave my hand a squeeze. “you’re having dinner with Tealy on Wednesday, right? Tell her the whole story, including everything you’re thinking, don’t leave anything out. Tealy will tell you how she feels about the whole thing. Once you know where you are, then you can write back to Hink. He can’t come for a while anyway so you’ll both have time to get used to the idea.”

After that we got on with the day which was quiet and uneventful. I worked for Brian, pottered about doing chores around the flat and felt as if a big cloud was pressing on me. When I talked to Tealy on the phone that night she knew something was up and wanted to know what but I couldn’t tell her. I said that I would explain everything on Wednesday. She said she had booked a table at TG’s, one of our favourite places, and we would have a nice time. I only hoped, after what I had to tell her, she was right.

The next two days passed in a kind of miserable blur. Nothing much was happening in London. The family were still all of a twitter about the new arrivals who were thriving. Uncle Arf seemed to be holding his own for which we all gave fervent thanks to the hand. Poor Andi was beginning to suffer with her new youngling and Gwenice had been to see her and taken her a bottle of morningwell potion which was helping a little.

Finally Wednesday evening arrived and I changed into my smart clothes and left for Elfhold. I arrived at Knightsbridge tube station, attached myself to a group of tourists, pushed my way to the correct ticket machine and held my phone up to it. However much I prepared myself for it the plummeting fall into Elfhold always took my breath away. I landed on the beautiful mosaic tiles and paused to catch my breath and let my ears adjust to the noise of high fluting voices chattering, the unceasing movement of high heel clad feet and the constant wind chimes tinkling in the soft breeze.

I walked up to the high polished bronze gates, showed my phone again and was waved through. The shiny red floater glided down, I climbed into it, strapped myself in and asked to be taken to TG’s.

As the little bucket chair rose into the air and flew over the fantastical landscape of Elfhold I wondered why Tealy would want to leave all this beauty and luxury. Down below, beautifully dressed elves strolled across the piazza, sat at marble tables outside bars sipping cocktails from silver goblets, leaned against golden statues, chatted in groups around a fountain shaped like a huge mermaid holding a golden lily set with multi-coloured jewels from which jetted a spray of water which caught the light in a thousand rainbow sparkles. Tealy wanted to leave here, she wanted to live somewhere closer to me. She had found out something or other but I still did not know what. Could I really ask her to leave her people, her birthright? For what? I shook my head and swallowed to rid myself of the tightness in my throat.

We arrived at the small, intimate restaurant and Tealy was waiting for me. She looked beautiful as always in a long slim-fitting turquoise skirt which exactly matched her big eyes and a turquoise top with tiny delicate silver sparkles on it and thin silver straps at the shoulders. She wore silver scrunchies in her hair and slim silver bangles with turquoise hearts on them. She came toward me, seeming to glide rather than walk in high-heeled silver sandals. I just marvelled that this amazingly wonderful girl really wanted to be with me.

Tealy kissed my ears and gave me a hug but I felt as awkward as if I had six arms. We sat down and a waiter brought our drinks. I tried to act naturally but it was as if we were back in Amoroso, that awful pink restaurant where everything was covered in hearts. I could find nothing to say, I was all thumbs. The delicious juicy melon, perfumed with orange and ginger stuck in my throat and I wanted to cry.

Tealy set down her fork on the china plate and gave me a very straight, hard look.

“Bert, for iron’s sake, tell me what’s wrong. If this evening’s going to be totally ruined let’s get it over with.”

“I’m sorry, Zaeahana,” I looked down at my hands in helpless misery. “I don’t know how to tell you this. I didn’t want to spoil our evening. I…”

“You want to finish it? Is that it?”

My head came up in a rush. Tealy was gazing at me, her huge eyes full of tears.

“Moon and stars, no! Why on earth would you ever think such a thing? We kissed the Wishstone. I’m wearing your token. I don’t make promises to break them all in a minute, Zaea, surely you know that!”

Tealy looked relieved, gave a laugh followed by a sob, sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“You came in here looking as if you were going to a funeral.” She said. “I could only think of one thing awful enough to make you look that miserable. I’m glad I’m wrong, Zaeahaan. Ok, if it isn’t that then I can cope with it, whatever it is. Come on, out with it, what’s up?”

I squared my shoulders and looked steadily into her face.

“Hinky wants to come back here for a visit.” I said.

Every vestige of colour drained from her face. She groped blindly for her wine glass and would have knocked it over if I had not caught it with a hover spell. I came around the table and put it into her hand. She drained it and set it down unsteadily as I returned to my seat.

The waiter took away our almost untouched plates and brought thick slices of succulent roast pork with caramelised apple rings in a spicy cider sauce. There were crisp little roast potatoes and a mouth-watering selection of fresh vegetables. It looked and smelled delicious but my appetite was gone.

Tealy poured herself more wine. She held the crystal glass up and rocked it. The red wine caught the soft light and glowed like living rubies.

“Does he know about us?” her voice hardly sounded like her own.

“No. He sends me reams of rubbish several days a week and I write him as little as I can. He’s never asked about you and I just haven’t said anything. Maybe I should have. I will now though, Zaea. I’m not letting him upset you ever ever again.”

“I wanted to go to, what do you call it? To High Country when he finished it that last time, Bert,” she said quietly. “I really did. I had tried everything and I do mean everything to please him, to be the elf he wanted me to be. I made a complete fool of myself and it was all for nothing. Then I tried to make him jealous and, well, you know where that got me. I nearly lost my job over that little caper.”

“I never knew that,” I said.

“Yes.” She cut a piece of pork and chewed thoughtfully. “After that dinner at that dreadful pink restaurant I drank myself nearly stupid and couldn’t’ work. Bilby came to my flat because he couldn’t raise me. He found me passed out on the floor and called the medics. You can imagine what he said!”

“Did he threaten to have your ears casseroled?” I made inroads into my own cooling dinner. I was suddenly starving. Tealy gave a weak laugh.

“Something like that. He blusters a lot but he really does like me. Point is, it took some very fancy footwork for him to get me out of trouble that time. He helped me get through that and so did you.” She reached across the table and took my hand. “You helped most of all. I’ve changed such a lot. Changed in ways I can’t even begin to tell you about. I never want to go back where I was again, I never want to be who I was. Just the thought of it scares me.”

“You won’t ever go back to that, Zaea,” I said. “You’ve come too far, I’m not worried about that, I just don’t want Hinky to upset you in any way. What do you want me to do about him? Shall I tell him I don’t want him to come here?”

Tealy didn’t answer for a while. She ate her dinner, keeping her eyes firmly on her plate. I got on with my own food, wondered what she was thinking and tried not to be too impatient. The waiter took our plates away, brought us sparkling crystal flutes of champagne jelly studded with jewel-like raspberries and melted away. Tealy took a spoonful of the rippling, softly-set concoction and looked at me.

“If you run away from what scares you,” she said, “You’ll be running all your life. You Email Hinky and tell him how things are. I’ll do the same. If he thinks he can just waltz back in and start where he left off then he can think again. I know what’s real now. When you’ve felt the real the fake doesn’t cut it anymore. I know you and Hinky were best friends once and you were and probably still are the only real friend he ever had. If he still wants to see you and you want to see him then it’s ok with me.”

The rest of that evening was lovely. I felt closer to my Tealy girl than I had ever done before. I floated home in a kind of happy dream. Brian and L were both in bed when I got back, it was very late. I wondered about writing the Email right there and then but I reckoned I had better wait until I had a clear head so I introduced it to a soft pillow and fell deep into dreamland.

The following morning I was up at my usual time. I went through my morning routine and booted up Imogen iPad to see what was going on. Nothing much of anything was the answer. The family was quiet for once. I logged on to Facebook and had a chat to Lita, Mella and Mum who were all online, I said hello to marni and asked about her family. She told me that her novice Hander daughter NanciAnne had taken a step closer to becoming full Hander. I was pleased to hear this, nan had been a great help to her mother during the time she had been exiled from her cube and living in the handers’ quarters and she was a nice young fem.

Once I had everything squared away I opened a new Email and wrote to Hinky.

“Hi, Hink.”

“I had a talk to Brian and L, your Miz Bear. Thanks for waiting so patiently, not! She said you already wrote to her and asked her yourself about the closet floor. She told me that she gave you the ok but before you set a date to come over here there are some things I need to tell you.”

“”When you took that job in the States you completely broke Tealy’s heart and you left me to clear up your mess. I tried to be friendly and help all I could but Tealy wanted to make you jealous so she wanted me to be more than a friend to her. When I told her it wasn’t going to happen she nearly made herself ill with drink and almost lost her job. After that she asked if we could start again and be friends and I said we could.”

“Hink, Tealy has tried really hard to get over you and move on. She has changed a lot, she isn’t that ditsy, empty-headed person she used to be. She is a wonderful, beautiful person and I love her. Last Christmas we were bonded with WishSilver tokens in the elfin way.”

“Look, Hink, you’re the closest friend I ever had and, as you say, we did have some awesome good times together. I miss them too and it would be great to see you again, but you have to understand that you can’t just come waltzing back into Tealy’s life and pick up where you left off. That’s no way to treat anyone. Every week I get a mail about how you have a different girlfriend and how the last one wasn’t right so you broke up with her. I can’t, I won’t let you do that to Tealy again, Hink.”

“I suppose I really should have said all this to you before but we seem to have drifted apart since you moved. I suppose that’s both our faults. I get a pile of junk from you and a few paragraphs telling me not much of anything, I write telling you everything’s going along fine, I didn’t think you’d be interested in my boring news and I just couldn’t seem to find the right time to tell you about me and Tealy, I thought you’d be happier not knowing.”

”Well now you know everything and I’m wondering where that leaves us. I’ve done a lot of thinking and, like I say, I’d like to meet up again, relive the old days, def drink some more fizzy wine, I’m over drinking beer it does my head in! Smile. What about you? If you still want to come over let me know. If you don’t, I’ll completely understand.”

“Still your friend, I hope.”

“Bert.”

I drafted it, re-drafted it, twiddled, fiddled and finally sent it. I then got on with the day. Luckily I had a pile of work to do but it did not stop me from checking my mail every half hour after I knew Hinky would be awake. Nothing. Nothing all day long. By the evening I felt absolutely sick. I knew I could not have done anything other than what I had but it did not make things any easier.

For the next two days life went on and I heard nothing. No junk Emails from the States, no unicorns and glittery hearts, no true stories, no slightly pornographic pictures of scantily clad women, absolutely nothing. It was weird, I had been wishing and wishing for over a year for the endless stream of crud mail to stop and now that it had I would have given every article of Gap clothing in my wardrobe to see it again. I dragged myself around the flat as limp as a sick kitten, trying not to let my black mood affect Brian and L. They did not say much but I knew they knew why I was so unhappy and they tried hard in subtle ways to support me and cheer me up. Brian ordered my favourite kebab for me, L let me sit on her lap for a whole evening playing endless games of Lost Cities. The week’s new releases from the NatureSpace catalogue were mysteriously installed on my iPad while Brian was updating it for me. I was very grateful for these comforts and attentions but nothing would shift my dragging depression.

On Sunday morning I dragged myself out of bed and into a shower. I could not have felt less like going to the colony although I was dying to see Tealy. She had been incredibly busy all week so our phone calls had been very brief and I had not asked her anything about Hinky. I wanted to talk the whole thing over with her properly. I suppose I just wanted her to tell me I had done the right thing, although I knew I had.

Listlessly I booted up Imogen iPad and opened my Emails. My eyes flew open. There was Hinky’s Email address. There were the usual ten mails. Three jokes, three pictures. Two animations. One forwarded heart warming story. Ah, here it was at last, an Email from the elf himself! The subject was just “Stuff.” I opened it with my heart in my mouth.

“Hi Bert.”

“Well this might not be good as yourn cos I ain’t never been good with words but I guess you’re right bout one thing. We done drifted since I done took this job an don’t talk bout the stuff that matters no more. We was best buddies an that don’t seem right to me.”

“Well you old imp I gotta say I was mad as a hornet when I fust heard bout you an Tealy cos dang it all she was my gal but aw hey! I been thinking an you was right. Or was it me that was right hey I dunno anyway I ain’t the one for her, guess I never was, cept we was happy once cept when she made me mad talking when the game was on an getting drunk an stuff. Still an all if’n she’s happy now then I guess that’s good enough fer me.”

“Listen, old buddy, all this stuff kind of shook me up some an I think I’s gonna take me some time to get used to it afore I decide bout the trip, ok? I sorta think I larned me two things though, things I should a knowed already. I figure next time I get someone like that little gal of yourn I’d better hold her fer keeps huh? Other thing is, don’t you never talk about us not being friends no more cos that’s stupid. I ain’t got so many buddies in this world that I can afford to lose any. Take care, you old imp, stay in touch an fer gold’s sake let’s tell each other stuff this time ok? I will if’n you will, startin’ with this: I hate that dang fizzy wine! Hahaha!”

“Hink.”

I just sat there for a full five minutes, reading and re-reading it. Then I wrote back. Then I dashed into the den. L wasn’t there but I danced a war dance around Brian and told him the news.

“Keep your voice down, Bert,” he said. “I’m really glad about that. Now, can you give me a hand before you get ready to go home for the day, L isn’t well at all.”

I went in to see L and found her having one of her worst days. I whispered my good news to her and she gave me a hug.

I went back out to Brian and thought fast. I thought about all the nice things he and L had done for me while I was feeling so down. Then I grabbed my phone and dialled Tealy’s number. She answered sounding fresh as a daisy.

“Zaeahana,” I said, “L is having one of her worst days today and I really want to stay and help out here. Do you think it would be possible for you to work today so that you could have tomorrow off, we could go to the colony then instead.”

Tealy was disappointed but understanding. A few clicks of her amazing wristicator gadget fixed everything and she was soon zooming off to work in her gorgeous pink sports car. Meanwhile I spent the day at the Lair helping Brian and looking after L.

The next morning I woke up to no little scroll on my pillow. Zlendt, I thought, it must be cold in Ireland, they must be taking a sleep day in Shana-Sherrin. I always felt a bit flat when Mondays brought me no little scroll but I reflected that spring was on the way so there would not be too many more sleep days to come. I got up early and dashed around as Brian was due to go away on a trip. We all had a nice breakfast together, L packed up his lunch and once we had seen him off to the station I got ready to zap home for the day. It was going to be a slightly odd one. Mum and Dad were not going to be at the colony as they had planned a visit to see my brother Nile and his family at their home in the country. We would instead spend most of the day with Mella and Derry as well as making a few other short visits here and there.

Tealy was waiting for me in the bushes when I arrived. She was wearing a coat I had not seen before, beautifully cut it drew the eye to her slim form but in the subtlest, most elegant way possible. It was made from some gossamer fine woollen cloth which was light as a cloud and soft as a fairy’s curls. The colour was extraordinary, a pink as soft and pale as the clouds in the dawn sky before the sun comes up. Beneath the coat I could see slim pink boots. Pink and silver scrunchies in her hair, silver bangles. My girl looked as amazing as ever.

We did the rounds before going to Mella’s, everyone was glad to see us and we must have drunk about ten cups of tea. Uncle Arf still looked weak but his eyes were bright. He ruled his cube from the swing bed and the beautiful twins Gem and Jewel nestled on his thin knees. Marni’s cube was a hive of activity as always with the one black spot the sullen, shrunken figure of Barty swinging up high in his chair. Lina and Lita were taking care of little Alfie who was gurgling happily in his crib, Tovey was out at work. WE tried to see Vee but Ikey was not letting visitors see her. He was looking exhausted but determined. He said she was getting a bit stronger every day and the twins were doing fine.

We ended up at Mella’s, exhausted and ready for lunch. We sat around the crowded table and ate hedgerow soup with mella, Derry and their lings, helping the little ones and laughing with them. During the long afternoon we helped Mella with the chores, played with the lings, sat and gossiped. At tea-time Mella got out freshly-baked petal cakes in several varieties and we sat the lings round the table and helped them. It was very cold in the colony and Tealy had kept her coat on for most of the day, nobody minded, you had to do whatever kept you warm.

Little Jemmy waddled across to Tealy and held up his arms. Thinking nothing of it she picked him up. He was an cherubic little imp with big green eyes and tawny brown curls and he always looked as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, even while doing the worst mischief possible. He smiled angelically at Tealy and it was a minute or two before we noticed that his grubby little fist was moving rhythmically up and down on her shoulder. With a cry of utter horror mella grabbed him and took him away but the damage was done. On the shoulder of Tealy’s beautiful and very expensive pale pink Shendi’s work coat was a bright yellow smear of squashed buttercup cake. Tealy tried not to show it but she was really quite upset. We stayed for bath and bed time though, Tealy would never let the ruining of her new coat come before good relations with the family. At last it was time for us to head for home.

It was a horrendous night, rain poured down in sheets from a lowering black sky. As we headed into the zapping bushes I sincerely wished Tealy had left that coat at home and worn something more practical. The beautiful material was soon drenched right through and it was clear the poor coat would be good for little after this outing. We were making our way into the thickest part of the bushes when I suddenly heard a faint weak sound. Was it a cry or the mewing of a cat? I didn’t know. Tealy was complaining about the wet and I hushed her fiercely so I could hear better. The cry came again from further away. I headed off to see what it was. Tealy was horrified and querulous but I paid no heed.

It was pitch dark and wet deep in the thicket of scrubby bushes but the cries were more distinctive. I could not see but my ears were telling me something I just could not believe. I called Tealy and she rustled her way towards me, complaining all the way. I asked her to make a light, nothing too bright, and she produced a soft shimmer by which all was revealed.

Curled up in a hollow, covered in leaves and wrapped in what looked like dirty sacking there nestled a tiny youngling. It was awake, squirming and crying, its face screwed up with fear and annoyance, its eyes closed against the rain. Hastily I ripped off my coat and bent to wrap the youngling in something at least warm and waterproof.

For one minute the crying stopped, the little face straightened into lines of such beauty that it took my breath away and a pair of eyes opened and looked straight up into mine. Actually they didn’t just look at me, they looked right inside me as if they were trying to learn me by heart. Oh my stars, how do I find the words to describe that moment? I have seen some beautiful eyes in my time, the eyes of the Handholder are pretty amazing but I have never seen eyes like the eyes of that youngling. They were huge, soft, blue as the sky over Sherrin loch on a sunny day. That shimmering, sparkling, iridescent blue when the sky meets the water so that you can hardly tell which is which.

For a moment the world was quiet and time stood still. My heart seemed to skip a beat, I know, I am talking like a bad novel here but that is just how it felt. I was suddenly pierced with all kinds of feelings I did not understand. They flowed over me in a huge rush of emotion so that I hardly knew where to put myself and then I was calm and absolutely certain. I had to keep the youngling safe at all costs.

“It’s ok,” I whispered. “Everything’s ok.” I picked the cold wet little bundle up in my arms. Tealy assumed we would just take it back to the colony.

“If mum and Dad were home I’d say yes,” I said. “But this is a very tiny youngling and I can’t foist it on Mella with everything she has on her plate. I’m not just handing it over to the guards, I’m not! I think I’ll have to take it home till I can think better.”

Tealy tried to argue which made me angry. The youngling’s cries were growing more and more distressed.

“I’m going now,” I ended by saying. “I could really do with your help. Are you coming home with me or not?”

There was an appreciable pause. I got ready to zap. My head was in a whirl but I knew I had to protect this youngling and if Tealy didn’t like it, well that was too bad.

“Like I’m really going to leave you up to your neck in this all alone, Zaeahaan.” She said. I felt my cap lifted and one of my ears was kissed. Then a wet little hand took my arm and we zapped to the lair.

When we reached my closet the youngling had been thoroughly spooked and was screaming at the top of its considerable voice. I thought it would rouse the neighbours, if not the dead. That calm inner certainty had inconveniently deserted me and I wondered what on earth I had done. I laid the sopping wet bundle on my clean bed and wondered what to do next.

Luckily rescue arrived in the shape of L who wanted to know what on earth was going on. I tried to explain but practical Tealy told the story in a few quick sentences. The youngling had been found cold, hungry, filthy, frightened and abandoned.

“Well,” said L, “Let’s do something about the frightened while we think about the rest. Give it to me. Gently!”

I handed the youngling over, still wrapped in my coat, it looked absolutely miniscule in L’s human arms, like a toy doll. L soothed and quietened it and the screaming gradually calmed.

For the next hour or so we were all extremely busy. Tealy had to do some very fancy spell work, as L said there was any amount of things she needed. L had baby things to hand which she used for her lifelike baby dolls but they were all human baby size, far too big for a lep baby. Tealy produced a mort of things including feeding equipment, a changing table, clothes, cloth nappies which I would have to wash, lucky me, and finally a tiny crib. L and I unwrapped the little fem from her dirty sacking, bathed, dried and powdered her between us, that is L did most of it, I watched and helped a bit here and there feeling all thumbs.

Finally we combed the youngling’s beautiful fluff of silver blonde curls and got her into a clean nappy and a tiny pink body suit, then a fluffy pink sleep suit with fairies on it. Tealy had a bottle ready filled with formula which she said elflings always did well on. I was glad to hear this as I was wondering what we were going to feed the little thing. L asked if Tealy or I wanted to feed her but I was still feeling all thumbs and Tealy said she’d rather not, so L did it.

When soft sleeping breaths were coming from the crib Tealy left for Elfhold. I thought she was a bit offhand when she said goodbye to me but I had too much on my mind to worry about it then. I set up the baby monitor, another of the many clever things Tealy had left us, and went to get something to eat for L and I as we were both famished. After that I snuk into L’s room to take a peek at the sleeping youngling. I sat on the edge of L’s bed just gazing at her. That inner certainty came back and I wondered at it. I had no room in my life for a youngling, for stars’ sake! I had a full-time job, a beautiful girlfriend, a life I loved and had no plans to change. But at that moment I didn’t think of that or care. I just knew that she had to be kept safe, that I would have to find a way.

The next day passed in a busy blur. The youngling took up every minute of our time, there seemed to be an unending stream of things to do. Feeding her, changing her, holding her, playing with her, learning to do things for her in my case, watching the changes in her face, watching those amazing, amazing eyes.

I was dead beat Tuesday night having had her most of the afternoon while L caught a power nap. I had my usual nightly phone call with Tealy and she was trying to tell me something which had happened at work, only I fell asleep halfway through. I awoke at about eight the following morning with the phone pressed into my cheek. There was a text from Tealy.

“Call me when you can get your mind off younglings.” Ouch!

I dragged myself into a shower then thought I’d see if L needed a cup of tea, I certainly did. I made a brew and tapped on L’s door. On being told to come in I saw L sitting up in bed feeding the little one. I offered L the tea and asked if everything was ok. L told me all was fine, then suddenly looked serious.

“Bert, sit down, we need to talk and now’s as good a time as any.”

I plonked the tea down on the bedside table.

“I’ve been dreading this,” I said. “We’ve been so rushed the past two days we’ve hardly had a minute but now I suppose it’s probably time for me to get a telling off. I suppose you’re going to tell me I shouldn’t have brought her here” I continued angrily, my voice rising, “I should have taken her back to the colony just as she was and handed her over to the guards to take her chances!”

The youngling stopped feeding and started to fuss anxiously.

“Bert, calm down,” said L, “You’re upsetting Cassie.”

I stopped and stared.

“Sorry, L,” I said, “Sorry, Cassie, that’s a pretty name.”

“I’m glad you think it’s ok,” said L uncertainly, “I needed to call her something apart from sweetie or whatever.”

I waited. Cassie went on feeding placidly. The big eyes regarded me unswervingly from over the bottle.

“Well, what?” I asked at last, out of patience, “You wanted to talk?”

“I’m trying to think how to say it.” L chose her words carefully but every one fell like a stone. “Bert, I don’t blame you for bringing her here. You did what you thought was best in a tricky situation and I’m sure the colony council will be pleased when they hear. Cassie was cold, hungry, dangerously weak and now she’s going to be fine, she’ll always owe that to you, but you do know we can’t keep her here permanently don’t you?”

My insides seemed to explode with anger.

“Zblert!” I hissed. “Why in the stars not? I thought you were the one who liked babies!”

“Oh keep your voice down and talk sense!” L’s lips tightened. “She’s a lep! How can she live here?”

“So what?” I shot back, “I’m a lep!”

“For goodness’ sake, Bert!” L was sounding thoroughly exasperated. “You live and work here, it’s legal for you to be here, the lep world allows it! She’s not supposed to be here, she doesn’t belong here, she belongs with her own people – Bert, you know this!”

I sprang to my feet. I would be the first to admit that I can be a stroppy devil at times and throw tantrums worthy of a two-year-old, but I am here to tell you I have never felt so furious in all my life as I did then, and it really scared me. Wild, irrational thoughts zoomed around my head. I wanted to snatch Cassie, pack all her things and mine, zap out and take her away, far away, anywhere but here, away from anyone who would dare to even think about thinking about trying to give her to strangers, hand her to the council to take her chances, I just was not going to have that.

Deep, deep inside me the normal, calm Bert told me I had to think clearly, to act calmly or I could jeopardise everything. I had to get outside and go somewhere to think. I had some distilled NoSeeMe left, a gift of Tealy’s from the summer, I could use that. I could not go though unless I got permission, Brian had ordered me not to leave without it and I physically could not disobey an order. I took a deep breath. I had to stay calm, convince L to give me permission or I was sunk.

“Permission to leave the flat, L, please, I’d like to think. L put on her sweetly reasonable voice and I wanted to strangle her.

“Look, sweetie,” she cooed, “I know it’s hard…”

“You can’t possibly know!” I held on to my temper with everything I had. “Seriously, L I need to think clearly, be alone, get right out of here so can I have permission to leave?”

I had to convince her I wasn’t planning to run away, like I would with Cassie to look after, and promise to be back by two O’clock, but finally I was running out of the room. I scorched into my closet, grabbed my coat and cap, my phone, some money and the bottle of NoSeeMe. The next moment I was standing in a patch of shrubs at the edge of a park listening to the sound of children playing.

The first thing I did was to shake some NoSeeMe on myself. I did not need to get myself seen and cause a panic. It wasn’t even nine O’clock in the morning yet, far too early to call anyone, supposing I even knew who I wanted to call. I had to get my head straight. I just felt so angry and panicked, I felt as if I could fight everyone in the world, me who anyone could normally knock down with one hand tied behind them. I erupted out of the bushes and started running. Now I am not the sporty type, but that day I ran as if I were in those weird games things that were splashed all over the TV last year! I ran and I ran, pelting around the edge of the park time and again until my breath was sobbing in my chest and there was a stitch like a red hot poker in my side. Finally I came back to the bushes I’d zapped in, crashed inside them and fell down on my behind, puffing like one of those weird steam engine things and too exhausted to think.

When I had my breath back my brain began to behave like its normal self again. Ok, so Brian and L wouldn’t let me keep Cassie with me at the lair. Handing her over to the council just was not an option, so what was? Who would I trust her with? Mella? Mella wanted more younglings but she had been permanently weakened by Siennella’s fire serpent and sometimes had all she could do to manage her five. I really did not want to take cassie there, I knew in my heart that, though mella would take Cassie in and raise her with love, it would be too much for her.

Tealy? A complete non-starter. Tealy would help anyone in need with her magic but I knew that taking a leprechaun baby into Elfhold just was not going to happen, I wouldn’t even ask it of her.

Mum and Dad? Ah, yes. That was a possibility. The calm inner light, so long absent, seemed to flare inside me again and I reached for my phone.

It is always difficult to get Mum to the point when she is trying to tell you a bundle of news, or when she is telling what she thinks is a good story. It took me a good ten minutes of listening, trying hard to get a word in edgeways and in the end plain rudeness before I could get her to understand that something was quite seriously wrong and I needed her and Dad’s help. Bless her heart though, she may be fluffy-headed at times, but her heart is made of pure gold. When she got it straight that she and Dad were really needed she agreed that they would cut their visit to Nile’s place short, come home tomorrow afternoon and I should come over as soon as they were back. I heard the last thing she said before she hung up and carried it with me like a talisman.

“Bert, you know we’ll always stand by you, son, whatever this is.”

That’s my Mum. I hung up, got creakily to my feet, brushed myself down and started to wander around the park.

I supposed I would have to have a plan B, just in case Mum and Dad wouldn’t help. Plan B was very simple. I would write to Shana-Sherrin, ask to be relieved of my job for personal reasons or get Brian to sack me, go back to London with Cassie, take a cube wherever I could get one, find a job, become a fully-paid-up foraging, salvaging, grubbing, working member of the lep race with a job to do, a family to raise and responsibilities to fulfil.

And what about Tealy, I thought. Where would she fit in to that plan? I honestly didn’t know. I supposed I had better find out.

I took out my phone and called my Tealy girl. She sounded relieved to hear from me. I told her things were unravelling fast and asked if she could pull some strings and meet me for lunch somewhere. She paused and considered.

“you don’t ask much, darling,” she said. “I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not promising. If I can swing it I’ll meet you at TG’s at one. I’ll send the pass to your phone.”

“You’re a gem, Zaea,” I told her.

“I haven’t done it yet,” she laughed, sounding blessedly normal and uncomplicated. “I’m just so glad you still need me around. I was beginning to feel rather shut out.” That got to me all right.

“Zashayla.” I whispered the word for the very first time, meaning it with all my heart. “I’ll always need you to be around for as long as you want to be. See you later, I hope.”

Tealy worked her magic and one O’clock saw me pushing succulent pink salmon in creamy sorrel sauce around a plate. I was far too keyed up to eat. My girl was looking coolly elegant in a lilac silk suit and a soft pink knitted silk top. She wore lilac and pink platform heels, big pink bows in her hair and silver charm bracelets jingling with amethyst and pink sapphire droplets.

I poured out my story in a torrent of tempestuous words, feeling the morning’s anger come rushing up to the surface again. Tealy watched me thoughtfully and went on eating her lunch. When she finally spoke I couldn’t believe what I was hearing her say.

“Now, Zaeahaan,” she said, taking a sip of wine and putting down the glass, “I’ve listened to the story as you’ve told it to me and I really can’t see why you’re getting so het up.”

“What?” my temper was like a smouldering forest fire and it took little to ignite it into a full blaze again. Tealy ignored me and went on reasonably.

“You work full time, you don’t know anything about younglings, do you expect Brian and L to care for it? L who isn’t well half the time and Brian who travels so much and works so hard? Any reasonable person can see that the youngling has to be raised in the colony.”

A red mist swam in front of my eyes. Tealy, my girl, she was letting me down, how could she? Sitting there in her swanky clothes in this ritzy place with all her money and her posh job? What did she know about what it was like to live hand to mouth, to have nothing, have no one, be no one! I threw down my fork on my untouched plate and leapt to my feet.

“I’d never have thought it of you, Tealy!” I cried. My shrill voice turned heads and brought meals to a stop all around us.

“Where are you going?” Tealy’s face glowed like the setting sun.

“I’m going home.” I spat savagely.

“Oh sit down, calm down and stop behaving like an idiot, people are looking.” Tealy’s huge aqua eyes gazed at me imploringly.

“So what?” I shot back.

Tealy sat there, a forkful of pearly pink salmon flesh and emerald green spinach poised halfway to her mouth.

“Bert, please, I don’t understand.” She pleaded. “Sit down and explain to me why you’re so angry.”

She had lost all her poise, she looked forlorn, uncertain and rather absurd. The fish fell off the fork and plopped back on to the plate in a shower of pale green sauce droplets which speckled the snow white napkin at Tealy’s neck. I suddenly felt deflated and almost unbearably sad.

“Oh stars!” I groaned, sitting down again, “I don’t understand it myself to be honest. It’s just when I think of her, Cassie, being taken away and brought up by strangers I want to break things, shout, hit someone, I don’t know why.”

Tealy tried to make me drink a glass of wine and eat something but it was a battle long lost. I could not have forced a crumb past my lips with a hammer and chisel. She asked when I had started to feel this way about Cassie and I told her about the moment in the bushes, wrapping my coat around the tiny crying bundle when there had been that connection, when the eyes had met mine, that bluest of all blueness, and I knew I had to keep her safe at all costs.

Tealy brought me back from my dreamy thoughts, she was always the practical one. She said facts were facts so we had better deal with them. L and Brian would not let me keep the youngling, that was certain sure, so what would I do now?

“I’m going to the colony tomorrow to see Mum and Dad,” I told her. “They might help.” Tealy raised her eyebrows at me.

“But Bert, Alfard and LilyBella have already raised one family.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” I answered wearily, “But I don’t think they’d turn her away. If they can’t help…”

“Then what?” asked Tealy.

“You don’t want to know.” I decided on the spur of the moment that matters were quite complicated enough and that we would cross those kind of bridges when we had to. I was not going to worry my girl until absolutely necessary. I gave her a straight look.

“Pray to the hand I never have to tell you.”

When I got back to the flat the first thing I did was to move Cassie’s crib, changing table and all her various paraphernalia into my closet. It was time I stopped relying on L and looked after her myself. After all, I might be doing it for a long time to come so I had better start now. I collected Cassie's’ things from all over the flat and stowed them neatly in my closet. L and Cassie were in the den and I had been in there several times to get things. I know this sounds incredibly mean but I didn’t speak to L, I was still irrationally furious with her. I told myself I could quite easily have got permission for Cassie to stay with me at the lair, she would not have been much trouble, I could have taken care of her, I would never have asked L or Brian for help, that was the way my idiotic brain was working. Of course, now that my head is straight again you can only imagine how awful I feel about my thoughts but that’s another story. I had better get on with this one if you don’t want to be here till Christmas.

When I had all Cassie’s stuff where I wanted it I went up to L and just stood there in front of her.

“I’m back.” I said. “Can I tell you some things?”

“yes, of course, sweetie,” L said.

“I want to look after Cassie myself from now on.”

“Oh Bert,” L sounded sad. “You don’t have to do that, you know I’d like to help with…” I reached up and took Cassie from L’s arms.

“No, L,” I tried to soften my tone.

“If I have to take responsibility for her then I have to learn to take care of her on my own. Don’t think I’m not grateful for everything you’ve done for us, but you’ve made your position very clear so it has to be this way.”

I walked towards the door, trying not to notice that I had upset L. I didn’t care, I told myself. I didn’t.

“Oh, one more thing. Can I please have permission to go to the colony tomorrow afternoon? Cassie is coming to, you’ll be pleased to hear.”

I waited long enough to hear her whispered affirmative and then I went out, closing the door firmly behind me.

Stars on the water! Didn’t I ever have my hands full for the rest of that day and most of the night! I thought I had picked up a lot about caring for Cassie from watching and helping L but I soon found out different. I felt all at sea, I could not get Cassie to go down for her afternoon nap, she was not used to me feeding her or I was not doing something right. I had to boot up Imogen and go on the web to see how I was supposed to keep Cassie’s equipment sterilised properly. I had to go into the kitchen to do it which meant passing L and seeing her sad face. I couldn’t call anyone and ask for help, nobody in my world knew about my young visitor and I wanted it kept that way for the moment.

As the day turned into the night Cassie became more and more fretful. L tapped at my door several times and asked me to let her help but I just ignored her. I had said I would do this on my own and do it I would. Yes, I know, talk about being totally pigheaded! As hour followed hour I walked the floor rocking the little tyrant in my arms, trying to quieten her incredibly loud screams, looking down at her face, marvelling, even in my growing panic, and wondering at it. It looked so different now, red and crumpled from crying, the eyes narrowed to slits and running with huge tears, the fluff of curls all tousled, even the upswept points of her miniature lep ears tinged with rose.

At some incredibly late, cold dark hour she either decided to let me feed her or I stopped being ham fisted and got it right. She hungrily sucked on the bottle and afterwards I held her on my shoulder and rocked her until her wind came. I felt as if I had climbed the Morn Mountains but I was triumphant! Cassie cooed and put up a tiny hand, ran it along my face and played with one of my ears.

I lay her in my lap and watched her as she dropped asleep, opening and closing her infinitesimally small fingers. When I was sure she was off I put her in the crib and covered her loosely as L had shown me. Result!

I sat on the edge of my bed and gazed at her sleeping face. The lines of annoyance had all been smoothed away and I thought how beautiful she was. I had seen plenty of younglings since being reunited with my family last year but never one like Cassie.

“Pretty Cassie.” I whispered softly.

My thoughts turned to her name. Wasn’t that just like L! She just went blithely ahead and gave a lep baby a human name, she didn’t bother to even consult me. I had found the youngling, L had made it perfectly clear that she was my responsibility from now on, surely I should have been allowed to name her. My thoughts did a wild canter around, trying to think of names I liked. The trouble was I had started thinking of the little one as Cassie. I scowled, then thought again. There was nothing wrong with the name, I did actually quite like it, it just wasn’t lep. Well, we would just have to make it lep then. What would shorten into Cassie?

I watched the nightlight playing across the little soft face, the peaches and cream skin, the delicate nose, soft full lips and the tracery of tiny veins in the full closed eyelids. I looked at the perfect shape of the upswept ears disappearing into that silver gilt hair. She must have a beautiful name, I thought. Cassyanna? Cassyanne? No. I suddenly remembered a name I had liked that L had given to one of her bleeping horror virtual pets, modified it slightly and had my answer. Cassidyanne. It was pretty, it had a lep sound to it, it was perfect.

Now we just had to think of the patronymic. Well that was easy! Cassidyanne Bertaliusna. I smiled and felt sleepy. I thought of holding Cassie up in the Handhold and having her named and endowed with the helping hand. Then I saw Mum’s face, Dad’s, heard the gossip, realized that if I gave Cassie my name Mum and Dad would have a flock of birds and the council would never allow Cassie into the colony. Zlendt! What could I do? If she did not have a patronymic it would all be the same, she would be an outcast, the Handholder would not name her, she would have no status, she would not even be endowed with the hand. I thought over my options. I supposed I could give her my name, appeal to the mercy of the Handholder and try and weather it, I had weathered storms before. I knew in my heart it would not do. If I gave Cassie my patronymic she would always be seen as a love child, lowest of the low, while I did it for the best of motives it would be the worst thing I could do for her.

I thought furiously and then, in a flash of calm certainty, the answer came. Cassie was im-zaan, fatherless. If she took the patronymic Imzaanna under my protection she could then be named, endowed with the hand, her status would still be low but she would not be disgraced, not outcast. That was the thing to do.

Cassie was sleeping soundly, softly snortling and making tiny cooing noises. I got thankfully into bed and snuggled down. Tomorrow, I told her quietly in my head, I’d take her to the colony, we’d see Mum and dad, they were wicked and I was sure they would help us. If not I had some ideas but we’d think about them when we had to. The point was, nobody was leaving her in anymore bushes out in the rain, not ever again. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know why, but I just knew I had to keep her safe, then and always. I fell fast asleep.

In the morning things were strained between L and I. Cassie was awake early, I fed, bathed and dressed her and then she went down for a sleep. After that I booted up Imogen iPad and did a cursory check of my Mail and Facebook but there was little happening. I had a mail from Mum telling me to come over at about two and I wrote back saying I’d be there.

I went into the den and got us some breakfast. L looked migrainey to me but she didn’t say anything about it. WE hardly said a word as we ate. Cassie was still asleep and I would normally have spent this time with L, reading, talking or playing a game, but the air between us seemed all tight and tense with unsaid things.

I went back to my closet feeling absolutely miserable. I wanted to say I was sorry but I wasn’t really, I was still all churned up and I didn’t know why. I busied myself packing everything of Cassie’s I could into my backpack. Mum would need things for her. There was no room in the cube for the big things, tiny younglings slept in ingeniously rigged swinging cribs, Dad would soon be able to put our family one up again. I would have to get Tealy to come and deal with the things we didn’t need anymore.

Cassie woke up in a good mood. I fed and played with her and wondered what on earth I was going to do when I had to leave her behind in the colony. I also wondered what I would do if Mum and Dad refused to help and I had to come back here with her. Part of me really wanted that, part of me really didn’t, I don’t think I have ever felt more totally mixed up in all my life.

Well it finally came time to go and I got Cassie and myself ready. When I put my head around the den door to tell L I was off she wished me luck. I think she was asking if she could say goodbye to Cassie but I’m afraid to say I shut the door before she finished the sentence.

The colony thoroughfare was heaving as usual. I tried to protect Cassie from as many buffetings as possible but it was difficult and she was getting scared. As we neared my parents’ cube we were collecting more and more gawkers. Everyone knew me, knew who I was going out with and the sight of me carrying a youngling plus all her stuff was causing the sensation of the month. I toughed it out, looked straight ahead of me and told everyone to move and put their eyes back in, they were scaring the youngling.

Suddenly Mum erupted out of the cube shouting at the top of her lungs. She stood in the middle of the thoroughfare, arms akimbo, laying out all our recent family dramas for the whole colony to hear with all the vim, vigour and volume of an operatic tragedienne. After Tommo and Mig, Ikey and all his trouble, Kas marrying a flibberty-gibbet woodsprite, never mind that she’d turned out to be the best thing for the colony in years, Gwenice coming home Zaired squared and as for Tovey well she wasn’t even going there, oh and before she forgot my oldest brother had turned out a right lying cheating zlorg, and now they found out I’d been keeping a youngling tucked away somewhere? My protestations of innocence were swept aside. What was going to happen to them, she wailed! The council wouldn’t stand for it, they’d be chucked out, nobody would ever talk to them again, they’d have to move to the country. Her face was now an alarming purple and she looked as if she were about to spontaneously implode. She threw up her hands and wailed loud enough to shake dust from the rafters.

“Oh how could you do this to us, our Bert?”

I was spared the utter futility of trying to answer by the welcome arrival on the scene of my Dad. He was clutching a bucket of water in each hand and looking annoyed. Trust me, when my Dad looks annoyed you do not want to be in the vicinity.

“Will someone tell me what the blue typhoon is going on ‘ere?” he did not speak over loud but his low growl cut through Mum’s wails and the excited chattering of the gawkers like a hot knife through butter. “Lil,” he went on, turning a furious glance on Mum, “For stars’ sake, shut up! I could hear you down by the pump and so could everyone else.” My mum’s noise switched off and there was the closest thing to silence you can get in the colony. All that could be heard around the cube’s entrance was a nervous shuffling and murmuring and the angry cries of Cassie who was not having a nice day at all, was tired of being gawped at, didn’t like all the screaming and was making her displeasure felt. Dad next turned to the gawkers and shot them a steely look.

“All right, you lot,” he said, “Lil’s finished broadcastin’ our business all over the colony, the show’s over. Lil, Bert, take the youngling inside an’ calm ‘er down, we can’t get nuffin sorted till she’s quiet. Lil, make sure we’re private, news’ll get out soon enough an’ I want the family to stay well out of it till we’ve decided what’s best to do.”

I was glad enough to get inside with cassie. It took a good ten minutes of rocking and talking to her before she would stop crying and calm down. Mum and Dad had come inside and were staring at me silently but I didn’t look up, I just gave Cassie her fluffy penguin, walked her about and finally she got quiet and began to gurgle.

“Now, son,” Dad climbed into his favourite chair and gave me a hard look. “Tell us what this is all about. Lil, I don’t care what ‘e says, you ‘old your zlenkin’ noise till ‘e’s finished, I won’t ‘ave you causin’ no more aggro till we get fings straight.”

I talked quietly for a very long time. I told them the whole story, leaving absolutely nothing out, including my not very nice behaviour to one of the people who had been so good to me. When I had finished the cube was silent except for Cassie’s gurgles.

“Let me see if I’ve got this right,” said Dad. “You say you found ‘er in them bushes right where it gets thick, well out of sight of the doors?”

I said yes, that Tealy and I always went well inside to zap out. Dad nodded and said that it figured. I didn’t understand. Mum leaned forward. The agitation had gone from her good kind face and she was looking like the Mum I knew so well and loved so much.

“Whoever left that youngling there was tellin’ us it didn’t belong to the colony.” She said. “They left ‘er in a neutral place and from what I can gather they took their imprint off ‘er.”

That was another thing I didn’t understand. Sometimes it amazes me how little I know about the world I was born into. When a leprechaun youngling comes into the world it forms a lifelong bond with the first person it lays eyes on. Whoever is assisting at the birth always makes sure that the newborn looks first at its mother. In case anything goes wrong there is a way to remove the imprint, as it is called. This is not an easy spell to perform and it can only be done by the colony’s handholder. Mum told me that whoever had abandoned Cassie must have enlisted the aid of a Handholder who had performed a sleep spell, removed the imprint from her and then left her spellbound and imprint free to be brought and left outside in a neutral place to be found.

“That’s so cruel!” I cried, full of rage and pity. “How could anyone just dump her.”

“come on, use your brains,” said Dad, “You’re supposed to be the clever one here, it ain’t ‘ard to work out. Someone must’ve been watchin’ this place. We zaps in an’ out o’ these bushes all the time: foragers, salvagers, you name it, there’s always loads of us comin’ n’ goin’ so they must’ve thought it wouldn’t be more than a minute before she was found. It was just bad luck that the weather kept us in that day so the first fing she saw was your ugly face!”

“Could have been worse,” I shot back. “She could have seen yours!”

“That’ll do, you too!” Mum was trying not to laugh. “All the same, your Dad’s right Bert. That youngling imprinted herself on you that’s plain to see. What do you want to do about it?”

The churning maelstrom of thoughts seemed to slow down and stop. That explained everything! That earthshattering moment of connection. The utter certainty that I had to protect the youngling from now on at all costs, the irrational anger and wanting to run and fight when it was so out of character, the calm certainty when I had found the right way. They were all part of a magical imprint. Cassie had looked into my eyes and bound me to her for life. I should have felt scared but I didn’t. It had happened, there was no turning back now. What had Mum said? What did I want to do about it? What was there to do? I took a deep breath and prepared to say goodbye to everything I had worked for, everything I had ever known.

“Not much to do,” I answered. “Brian and L won’t let me keep her in the human world so I’ll have to stay here with her. I suppose I could get a cube here, maybe the handers could find a use for me or if not there must be some kind of other work that I could do.”

Dad sat up straighter and glared at me.

“don’t talk so silly, son,” he said. His voice, in contrast to his look, was almost gentle. “You graftet half your life to get where you are an’ you love your job, we all know that.”

“I know I do,” I said, feeling a pull when I remembered my cosy closet, working with Brian, music and wine, L’s lap, oh get a grip, I told myself, there’s no good thinking about it. “I know I do, but if Brian and L won’t let…”

“We don’t ‘ave to go botherin’ no yumans!” Mum got up from her chair and came to sit closer to us. “That little fing needs to be brought up right, an’ she will be too.”

I hardly dared to hope, my heart began to beat faster.

“But mum, the imprint,” I said, “Won’t she need me to be around for her?”

Mum laid a warm hand on my arm, then stroked Cassie’s soft little head.

“Aren’t I tellin’ you it’ll be fine? You’ll be able to see ‘er on Sundays.”

There was a few seconds’ deep, deep silence. Even Cassie stopped gurgling. Dad and Mum looked at each other, looked at Cassie then at me, finally they nodded at each other.

“That’s right,” said Dad matter-of-factly, “Maybe oftener, your people always was good about lettin’ you come ‘ere when you needed to.”

My heart swelled with joy and relief.

“You really mean it?” I asked, “She can stay here with you?”

“Ain’t that what you wanted?” Mum touched my cheek.

I was worried about the extra work and what the neighbours would say but Mum did a complete about face. She told me that if the neighbours dared to say one word they would wish they hadn’t. I marvelled at the spirit of this amazing fem who had raised thirty leplings, helped with the raising of who even knew how many grandlings, and now she did not even hesitate at taking in this poor abandoned foundling if it helped me keep the job and the life I loved. I was in major danger of making a fool of myself so I asked something practical instead.

“Dad, will the council have to know?”

“yeah, they’ll have to know the rights of it,” said Dad, “And not just cos of what people might say. They’ll ‘ave to let the Old Country know that one of theirs ‘as turned up ‘ere.”

I was staggered. I could not believe that Cassie had been brought from the Old Country but Mum and Dad soon showed me why it stood out a mile. Cassie’s beauty, her silver blonde hair, her incredible eyes. Dad said that hair and eyes like that were only seen in the Old Country and among the Old Families what’s more. I sat in open-mouthed amazement, staring at my little aristocrat.

“Someone wanted that youngling well out of the way for their own good reasons,” Dad told me emphatically. “Maybe some day we’ll know what they are an’ maybe we won’t, it don’t matter for the present. What does matter is that she’s family, we’ll take care of her, you don’t ‘ave nuffin to worry about.”

I stammered my thanks and relief but they weren’t listening. Family was family, that was all there was to it in their book. By this time it was getting late, Cassie was getting hungry and fractious and I knew I was going to have to leave her and go back to my work. I felt sad but there was none of that churning anger inside me. I asked Mum why this was.

“Don’t you understand nuffin you daft boy?” she said, smiling in her sweet way. “Of course you feel all right about it. The imprint will always show you what’s best for Cassie. You’ll always know if she’s in danger, you’ll always know for certain what to do for the best.”

If I say it wasn’t a wrench to hand Cassie over to Mum, kiss her goodbye and head down the thoroughfare leaving her behind I’d be lying. I missed her like mad as I headed for the zapping bushes but that calm inner certainty was burning and I knew it was going to be ok. Everything was ok. Now I had some serious fences to mend and a lot of explaining to do.

I arrived back in my closet, hung up my coat and cap, exchanged my trainers for slippers and headed for the den. L was sitting on the sofa and had obviously heard me come back but she had her head down and was clattering away at her computer keyboard as if her very life depended on it. My halting opening remarks were met with distant politeness, a sad expression and no cessation of the clattering.

I looked at L and felt an up rush of feeling. She had helped me with Cassie when she did not have to, I thought of all the closeness we had shared, right back to that time, waking up in the tiny hospital room when I felt her arms around me and heard her whisper words I would never forget. I reached out and touched her arm.

“L, if I said I was sorry for being a complete horror and that there was a reason, would it make you stop clattering and put that thing down?” I asked, “I do have an awful lot of things to tell you.”

Immediately the keyboard was thrust out of the way, I was swept into my favourite place on L’s lap and in less than a minute I was pouring out the whole story right from the start, all my thoughts and feelings, my visit to Mum’s and what she had said about the imprint. I ended by telling L how once everything was settled I had stayed while Mum fed Cassie, just so I could see she was ok, Dad had got ready to go to the council and then I had come away.

“Do you feel all right about it?” asked L.

“Surprisingly so,” I answered. “I thought I’d miss her like mad, well I do, but I know she’s where she needs to be.”

It was wonderful to be ok with L again and even better to think that Brian would soon be home and we would have music and wine, a take out dinner and sit on the sofa to catch up with the week’s news. I would certainly have a lot to tell him! It was not long before he arrived home and the rest of that day went exactly according to plan.

Friday was blessedly quiet and uneventful. I pottered about doing housework, I also had a pile of audio production to do for Brian as there was going to be an important radio show the next day and I had got rather behind on my work for it. The family was gearing up for the St Patrick’s Day celebrations over the weekend. L was still very under the weather and on the Friday evening Brian called me into the den and told me that L was not going to do any shows that week. He said that he could very well manage things and that as it was a special occasion would I like to go home Saturday afternoon and stay till Monday morning? I was worried about leaving L when she was obviously not well for all that time, but the thought of spending the whole of St Paddy’s with my family was just too good to miss and I accepted with many grateful thanks.

On Saturday morning I was up with the lark. I cleaned the flat from top to bottom, packed a backpack, made a nice breakfast for Brian and L, then did a check on Imogen iPad to see what was going on. Of course, news had got out about Cassie and everyone was gossiping like mad. Mum and Dad had told everybody the true story but they were inclined not to believe it. I thanked the hand Dad had gone straight to the council and told them the accurate version on Thursday or they might have truly got the wrong end of the stick!

I had a rather reproachful mail from Mella, she said I could have brought Cassie to her. I winced, I should have seen that one coming. Didn’t know what to do about it for the moment so didn’t do anything, hoped it would be all right. I phoned up Tealy and told her I’d be at the colony most of the day and all tomorrow. She said she would be over in the morning as usual and that she couldn’t wait to see me. The feeling was entirely mutual, let me tell you!

Finally it was time to go. L was looking terribly green around the gills and I was dithering, thinking maybe I ought to stay behind, but I was firmly shooed out of the door and off I zapped.

Oh it was fabulous to be back in the colony again, great to run down the thoroughfare as fast as I could, I hurtled into the cube and there was Cassie swinging in a tiny safe swinging chair Dad had rigged for her. I swung her into my arms and hugged her. She gave me the biggest gummiest smile and I felt about fifteen feet tall.

The rest of that day was wicked and very busy. We had loads to do to get ready for the morrow and I had all Cassie’s jobs to do which, let me tell you, was not so zlenking easy when there was no in-cube electricity or running water to hand! Mum showed me what I needed to do but I wouldn’t let her do things for me, not when I was there, she had to do enough when I wasn’t. I was one tired lep by the time I climbed into my bunk and went to sleep, and I had to wake up during the night too, so St Patrick’s day dawned with me feeling gritty-eyed and sleep-deprived.

What can be better than celebrating the most important festival of the year with the ones you love best all around you? If only Brian and L had been there it would have been one thousand per cent perfect. The party started as soon as the sun was well up, people crowded into the cube to exchange gifts and wish each other the day’s blessings. They also wanted to get a look at the new Princess of course. Luckily she lapped up all the attention and unless she got hungry she behaved like an angel all day.

Tealy arrived at about ten, wearing green of course and looking good enough to eat. I hugged her as if I’d never let her go. After that the party just went on getting bigger and louder and better. The only silly moment was when one of my less bright cousins tried to put Zair into Cassie’s bottle. Luckily I caught it in time and even then it just caused a general laugh.

People were leaving late in the evening, Mum, Dad and I were helping some of my more sober brothers and sisters to clear up when my phone rang urgently. Tealy had gone home so I knew it had to mean trouble at the Lair.

“Bert, I’m sorry to bother you,” Brian sounded serious. “I know we said you can stay till tomorrow morning and you still can if you want to, but L is in a lot of pain tonight and she needs you. Will you…”

“I’m on my way.” I didn’t let him finish. I looked around for my backpack and coat. When L suffers her worst attacks no medication can help her. She would need me. I rapidly explained to Mum and Dad, said a few goodbyes, left the cube and made my way out of the colony as rapidly as I could.

It was a long Sunday night. I stayed with L for most of it and didn’t wake up till late Monday morning. To my relief there was the little pink scroll.

“Dear Uncle Bert.”

“I hope you are in good health and that the helping hand is serving you well. I am in good health and have received a fair report this week.”

“I hates Tessabeth Kinnusna, I hates it here, that old piper stinks, rats stinks, it rained an we got wet an the tea give me a tummy ache and it aint fair.”

“I ain’t writing the last bit so they can stick it. Write me soon, Uncle, I wants to come home. Love B.”

Oh dear oh dear. I was sorry to hear that Babsy had not enjoyed the St paddy’s celebrations. I wrote to her as comfortingly as I could and then got on with the day.

It was a very quiet one, I spent it between taking care of L who was still extremely unwell, working for Brian and writing this epic journal entry. Yesterday and today have been much the same. L is a bit better today for which Brian and I are very thankful, we have both been worried to bits. I have been getting daily Emails from Mum, she keeps me up-to-date with Cassie’s doings and it seems, although she can get very fractious as any youngling can, she is settling down well. I am really looking forward to seeing her again on Sunday.

Well, my stars, I do not believe it! I have finally, finally brought you up to date! I do apologize that this has all taken me so long to tell but I did warn you that I had a lot of news. I hope the last few weeks have treated you well. Thanks, as ever, for reading my ramblings. I will write again as soon as I have anymore news to tell. Until then I shall thankfully lay this iPad aside in the knowledge of a job well done. See you again soon.

Big smiles.

March 31

Hi everyone!
Ooh goody! At the time of starting to write this journal entry it’s only two more days till I can look in my wardrobe and glory over my stash of chocolate. Well, to be fair, I always do have a little put by for a rainy day, but at easter time my small stash grows to a large stash. I remember telling you this last year but for new readers I will explain it again. I have to strictly ration my intake of sweets as I need to keep a strict eye on my weight. If I get too heavy it can make zapping very dangerous. If a zap goes wrong it is always catastrophic. If I were to get Ztrapped I would probably not survive it. The shock to the system is absolutely enormous. If I were to be unztrapped, rushed to a healer and if the hand was with me so that I did survive I would never be able to zap again. As I am always jetting about from Wales to London or anywhere else I need to be, you can just imagine how bad this would be for me, so I watch my weight like a hawk and only eat sweets very occasionally and let me tell you this is not easy as human sweets and chocolate are a huge weakness of mine. When I do have something sweet though it is a great treat. I have just been sitting on L’s lap for a while. She is not feeling her best today. We had a cup of tea and shared a thing called a Cadbury’s Snack. This is where you dip tiny little chocolate chip cookies into a pot of rich chocolate cream. It’s a very good job the whole thing is very small and we shared it between us. I could feel myself getting heavier with every bite! Smiles. My word, it was good though!
Stars, this is not getting my news told. It isn’t a lot like last time, but I have a few bits and pieces. Ok, make yourself comfortable, here it comes.
The days after I posted that bumper journal entry were quiet and uneventful. L was really not well, Brian was very busy with work, so I had plenty to do. It is always a bit of a juggling act to get everything done that needs doing when Brian is busy and L is unwell as they both need me to help them, but it is what I am here for and I like it, I mean I like to help, not that I like L to be ill.
L was still feeling awful on Saturday but she said she was going to do her show anyway. We had our usual completely mad day, both shows went out on time, then we collapsed on the sofa with food, music and wine. I had rather a strange call from Tealy before I headed for my yawning bed. She listened while I told her about my day but she seemed rather distracted. Finally I asked her if anything was up.
“Oh no, Zaea, nothing at all,” she said. “Look, Bert, could you possibly get off an hour earlier tomorrow? I’ll come to the Lair and fetch you rather than meet you at the colony. I, well, I want you to come somewhere with me and I’ll need to give you the map.”
Again, for new readers, to zap anywhere you obviously need to visualize where you’re going, that’s part of what makes it work. If you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before then you need to be send a mind map by someone who has been there already.
I was very puzzled and asked questions, but Tealy said she would explain everything in the morning. She went without telling me a thing and I had to try and go to sleep wondering what on earth was going on.
I awoke at my usual time on Sunday morning, showered, dressed, made the bed and tidied my room. Then I booted up Imogen iPad to see what was going on. I had my now daily Email from Mum to let me know that Cassie was ok. I felt a great lifting of my spirits, I would see her in only a few hours, I could not wait! There were a few more Emails, one from Mella, a nice one from Aprilina my sister-in-law, and the usual pile of junk from Hinky.
I logged on to Facebook, the family were still rumbling about Cassie, talking about Ikey and Vee, the news was good there, Vee was making steady if slow progress and Bertie and Bella, the twins, were coming along in leaps and bounds. Ikey was exhausted taking care of them but he would let nobody help. I said a few hellos, read the feeds, then went into the den to see how Brian and L were.
L was a bit better, I was glad to see, Brian was busy at his computer, I got on with making breakfast and once we had eaten and I had everything squared away I went into my closet, got my trainers on, put on my coat and cap and waited for Tealy.
I didn’t have too long to wait. When she zapped in I gawped at her. Tealy never looked anything less than gorgeous but she always dressed up to go to the colony. Not this time, she looked more like she was about to go on a hiking trip. She wore a thick green windproof jacket, black jeans and heavy hiking boots. A black woolly hat with a scarlet pom pom was pulled over her head to cover her ears.
“Tealy!” I just stared at her. “What on earth is going on?”

She came up to me, took hold of my hands and looked at me, her huge eyes full of excitement.
“Darling,” she said. “I think I may have found somewhere to live. It’s very different, there’ll be a lot of adjusting to do, but if this works out I’ll be so much closer to you, practically on your doorstep. It all depends on the impression I make and whether they like me, well, like us.”
“If who like us?” I was getting impatient.
“No time!” Tealy looked at her watch. “We must go or we’ll be late. “I’ll tell you on the way. No time for a map either, here, give me your hand. Come. On!”
Before I knew what was happening that little imp had grabbed my hand and zapped with me. I wasn’t’ ready so it completely took my breath away and left me completely disorientated. When I opened my eyes I was standing on the rugged side of a mountain. There was neither track nor path, no one was about. The wind was whistling through the long grass. It was as bleak and cheerless a place as you could wish to find.
“Where in the name of holy moon are we?” I asked testily.
“We’re on Caerphilly Mountain,” said Tealy blithely. “We have a little walk, they don’t like visitors to zap in too close. Come on, it’s this way.”
“Who don’t?” I huffed, struggling after her up the steep slope, “For stars’ sake, what the blue typhoon is going on?”
“No time!” Tealy looked back at me over her shoulder. “I thought there would be, but we have to get to the meeting place at the exact moment or he won’t wait. Come on, move, and don’t ask any questions!”
I was forced to struggle through a sea of long grasses up that inhospitable slope. Tealy had on the right footware, but my trainers were soon soaked with dew and my feet were protesting loudly. I would be the first to admit that usually the most exercise I take is walking around the Lair. Scrambling up mountains is most definitely not my thing at all! Tealy set a scary pace and I thought my heart was going to burst by the time we reached a small plateau where the grass had been mown short. She was hardly out of breath.
I began to ask a question but she held up her hand imperiously and I stayed quiet and concentrated on breathing. Tealy stayed very still and did not move, so, apart from my beating heart and rapid breathing, I did the same.
Suddenly there was a third person on the plateau with us. Where he had come from I did not know, but he was suddenly just there. He was small even by our standards. I stand thirty-two inches high and Tealy is a little shorter. This person could not have stood more than twenty five or six inches, yet he was fully grown. My mind clicked through all the various magical races I had ever seen but I could not place him. He was extremely slim and lithe, his skin was snow white and he had close-cropped silver curls. I don’t mean silver grey, I mean silver, like moonlight on the water. His small pointed face was handsome, it looked young and merry until you saw his eyes. Those eyes took my breath away. For a start they were huge and coal black, stark and startling in that pale, pale face. For another thing they were not young. They were old, full of wisdom and sadness. The little person was not dressed for the weather. He wore only a loose grey sleeveless tunic and breeches, a soft leather belt clasped his narrow waste, fastened with a silver emblem I did not understand and his feet were bare!
I tried hard not to stare. Tealy stayed very still for a moment, then she dropped a deep courtsy, almost to the ground. Taking my cue from her I bowed deeply. There was something about this person. You just knew he was somebody who commanded respect. The little person moved towards us, his feet seeming almost to skim the earth he moved so lightly.
“My name is Braan. You keep good time, that is well.” he said in a light, lilting voice. I am very familiar with the Welsh accent but I had never heard anyone speak like this. His vowels were almost liquid and his R sounds rolled, his consonants were soft. It was almost musical.
“We are honoured to meet you, Braan,” Tealy spoke in a hushed, almost awed voice and I wondered more than ever. “I am Tealy of the elfin folk. This is my leprechaun bondmate Bertalius Alfardan. We have been bonded with WishSilver according to the customs of my people.”
“You are both welcome.” Braan gave a tiny inclination of his head. “Follow me now, if you will.”
He made a kind of spring forward and upwards, lifting his arms, and I jumped back with a startled cry. Stretching from beneath his arms to either side of his waist was a kind of skin membrane like fluttering wings. Now I can hover when I need to, great stars, if I could not I wouldn’t get very far in my job as most things in the Lair are out of my normal reach. I can move about in a combination of hovers and jumps at need, but I don’t have wings, no lep has, and no elf either for that matter and I had never seen anyone just jump up and glide into the air like that. Hovering was doable for me but always in short bursts and I had to ration it or I would wear myself out. I watched in absolute envy as Braan just flung himself effortlessly into the air with graceful abandon.
He soon levelled out after the first long upward climb and flew slowly up the slope in front of us. Tealy and I followed and soon found ourselves on a narrow, winding track. The track climbed steeply for a while, then suddenly levelled on to another plateau. Braan waited for us there beside a tall white rock. He turned, placing his back against it, and looked searchingly at both of us in turn.
“That which you are about to see is not shown to all,” he said gravely. “The lady of Evermay puts much trust in you. Let it not be misplaced.”
I was beginning to feel as if I had walked into an Alan Garner novel. I tried to keep my mouth closed and my eyes in. that was actually quite hard given what happened next. Braan turned, set his hand lightly on the face of the white rock and it just melted away. In front of us there was a tall arch leading into a cave.
“You are come to one of the last remaining entrances to Annwn,” said Braan. “please to enter.”
“Come on,” Tealy took my arm and pulled me forward and together we entered the mountain. Behind us the entrance closed with a solid boom. A soft light sprang up around us and I could see my surroundings.
We stood in a fair-sized cave with a smooth white floor, a high vaulted ceiling and walls which seemed to have been inlaid with pieces of cut crystal because they caught the light and sparkled. The cave was empty but many passages led out of it in all directions, some sloping upwards, some down, some keeping on the level. I could also see flights of steps leading out of the cave. It was plain to see that this was in the nature of a front hall, a starting point. I started to get really scared. When I get scared I get cross.
“Tealy,” she was starting to follow Braan inside, down a long passage but I wasn’t having any. “I am not going another step until you tell me what is going on.”
Tealy gave me a scared look but Braan turned back and came towards us. He was suddenly smiling and his face looked positively mischievous.
“Feeling out of your depth I see,” he laughed. “rocks that open and winged folk flying over mountains, hidden kingdoms and no one explaining? Do not puzzle your head, my young friend, I will tell what may be told. Come, walk with me a while, we must hasten to the lady. I will explain as we go.”
I was indeed feeling very puzzled, out of my depth and grumpy as anything but ai walked up beside Braan, Tealy fell in behind us and we started walking. Braan led us across the cave, down a flight of steps and on down a passage. Before long he turned off into another and then another, always moving downwards, we descended more steps until I had lost all sense of direction. I followed him and listened.
“You are come to Annwn,” said Braan, “Or one of its last outposts.”
“What is Annwn?” I asked.
“In times past it was the hidden realm of the Tylwyth Teg, the fairy folk” said Braan. “beneath all the mountains of Wales were its entrances, the splendour of its towers and palaces was a wonder to behold. Many were the Tylwyth Teg in those days. WE grew and thrived till we spread over all Wales and at the full moon the woods were merry with our music and dancing.”
He stopped and looked sad.
“What happened?” I asked, though I suspected I knew the answer.
“Men happened,” He said sadly. “They tore up the earth in search of coal. They filled the air with pollution so that we could not breathe. They murdered thousands of us with the bite of iron. They said we brought bad luck and would not let us live in peace. We fled to Annwn and began to dwindle.”
“Are there many of the, what do you call them, the Tylwyth Teg left now?” I asked, “And why are we allowed into Annwn if it is your home?”
“Ah,” Braan smiled again. “We are still to be seen on the green face of Wales because of the wisdom of the Lady of Evermay. She foresaw that which was happening to us was happening to other magical races too. She sent out messengers, all who could be spared, calling the heads of all magical races to a gathering and council at Annwn. The meeting took place at high summer and was attended by envoys from the seven races of the Seelie, the good folk you might say, with the lady at its head. There it was decreed that any who sought a home, refuge and safety away from the eyes of men, be he of any Seelie magical race, should find it at Annwn, and thus might we all help one another and be kept the safer.”
“But it didn’t work did it?” I asked, hurrying to keep up, for Braan was striding along the winding passages now. “There are still lep colonies, Elfholds, I don’t know about the others, but you said this was one of the last outposts of Annwn.”
“Alas but you speak the truth.” Braan’s voice was sadder than ever. “The Seelie races came to Annwn and for a long while all seemed to go well. We grew and spread again, the moon shone on our merry-making, the earth yielded up her riches to us. Then gradually things began to go awry. In the council meetings some would not listen to the wisdom of the lady and wished for their own leaders to lead all. As time went on the division between the races seemed to grow deeper until Some wished for their own kingdoms inside Annwn. At the last there was war, the good king Gwyn ap Nudd, who had ruled for ten thousand years was slain. We nearly perished utterly. But the Lady of Evermay remained as did some of her people. We fled to this mountain and here we have been. The Selie races remain divided but now and then one comes, as your bondmate did, and asks our help. The lady, in her wisdom, seldom turns one away. She always hopes for the day when the Selie will be united once more.”
Braan fell silent and I kept walking and thinking hard. So this was the hidden kingdom where the free fairy folk of Wales were holed up, trying to survive and help any of the seelie races who needed it. Yes, they would be safe here all right, I thought grimly, living underground like moles. The entrance cave had possessed a kind of beauty but these passages were bleak and almost hostile. To think of my beautiful, glamorous girl inured down here would have been laughable if it wasn’t so sad. Stars! Tealy was giving up the beautiful and sophisticated Elfhold for this? It was unthinkable! This kind of thing didn’t happen in real life, for stars’ sake! I clumped morosely down the passage, noted its rough-hewn damp walls and uneven floor, thought of my beautiful girl grubbing about inside a Welsh mountain for the rest of her natural and started to feel positively vicious.
Suddenly we came out of the passage and I blinked, then I gawked like an idiot, and I can be forgiven for doing so. We were standing at the top of a long flight of white steps. I knew we must be deepunderground but it looked as if there was sky over us, blue sky with a few fluffy white clouds in it, with a warm sun shining down. From the foot of the steps stretched a beautiful garden: green grass, shady trees, beds of glorious, colourful flowers whose scent filled the air.
“Behold the thrice-blessed gardens of Evermay!” Braan spread his arms and glided down to the garden. Tealy threw off her heavy jacket, kicked off her boots, pulled off her hat and flung them on the ground. I think she would have flown down too if she could, her face seemed to be transported with joy so that she had forgotten I was even there. She went leaping down the steps, her loosened curls of ear hair flowing out behind her. It was certainly very warm, too warm for my thick coat and cap but I was not feeling very trusting so I did not take them off. I just stomped down the steps after Tealy although she had run so far ahead I could hardly see her. I just did not get this at all. One minute we were in cold bleak passages, next in a sunny summer garden? Well, I thought, plodding across the grass in my soaked trainers, at least this was pretty, but I could not see Tealy getting back to nature anymore than I could see her living in a cave.
I found my girl standing beside a white chair beneath a towering willow tree. In the chair sat a tiny figure. Braan was kneeling before her and she was speaking earnestly to him. Then Braan rose and beckoned to us and we walked around in front of the chair into the presence of the lady of Evermay.
I have been lucky enough in my life to meet some wonderful people. Madam Lynnara has a presence all her own as does our colony handholder. The lady of Evermay was more incredibly special than I have words to describe. You could feel the helping hand was with her, more than the hand, magic, real, true, pure, strong magic just coursed out of every pore. Her goodness and wisdom just came at you in waves. Quickly I took off my cap and knelt. Tealy knelt beside me. It wasn’t a worship thing, no Goddess this, but a great queen, worthy of all our respect.
She was so tiny and frail that the loose silk gown she wore seemed to weigh on her slight shoulders, even though it was feather light. She had the same snow white skin as Braan but whereas his was smoothe, hers was covered with a tracery of fine lines and wrinkles. Her long silver hair hung over the back of the chair and trailed along the ground. It had strings of tiny coloured jewels woven into it. Her huge coal-black eyes, framed in long silver lashes, were wise and sad beyond telling but her smile as she looked at us was sweet.
“Welcome,” she said. Her voice was soft and low. “Welcome to Evermay in Annwn. Do you wish now to take the test?”
“I do, lady,” Tealy’s voice was firm.
“Wait!” I was getting alarmed. My natural awe at meeting the lady may have shut my suspicions up for a while but at her words they had all come back. What test was this? Tealy hadn’t said anything about a test, nor had Braan, what would happen if Tealy failed, what would they do to us? Braan took hold of my arm with surprising strength and raised me to my feet. He drew me from beneath the tree’s shade.
“There is no cause for alarm, my young friend,” said Braan softly. “The lady sees and knows each one of us who dwell beneath the roof of Annwn. She must be sure that a new member will settle well here, that they be pure of evil intent. The test will not harm your bondmate nor you either.”
“Me?” I squeaked. Braan gave me an odd look.
“You wish to come and go freely within Annwn, do you not?” he asked. “Surely it follows that the lady must see and know you too.”
“What would happen if, er, if…”
“If you did not satisfy the lady?” Braan smiled impishly at me.
“You would forget you had ever heard of such a place as Annwn. You would awaken in your bed and wonder at your pleasant dreams of flowers, trees and starlight on the water. That is all. But fear not, my friend, you will not fail the test. If I had not been sure of you I should not have brought you here.”
With that I had to be content. Braan sat down on the grass. I was getting very hot so I took off my coat, spread it on the grass and sat on it. I wondered sulkily how much of my day was being taken up by our sojourn in the fairy world. I should have been with Cassie by now, Mum and Dad would be wondering where on earth I was. I looked at my watch to see exactly how late I was. It had stopped. Brilliant, I thought, just zlendt great! I sat, lost in glum thoughts, glared out over the gardens, listened to the birds singing and waited.
Beside me braan, who had been sitting still as a fairy statue for what felt like half an hour, stirred suddenly, leapt lightly to his feet, beckoned for me to get up and said: “It is time. May your helping hand be with you, my friend.”
I followed him back to the shady canopy of the willow tree feeling forty per cent sulky and sixty per cent apprehensive. No wonder Tealy hadn’t bothered to explain anything beforehand, I thought mutinously. She knew zlendt well I would never have gone along with this ridiculous charade! Tests and rocks and wings, underground gardens, flowery speeches and sad tales of past glories, what absolute twaddle! Well, I thought, if she hadn’t passed I wasn’t’ taking any zlendt test!
I found myself once more in front of the lady. Tealy was nowhere to be seen.
“Where is Tealy?” I was so thoroughly spooked I just blurted it out. The lady looked surprised, then smiled.
“Calm yourself,” she said. “She awaits you. Do you wish now to take the test?”
The lady did not sound angry but I could sense a slight chill coming from her. I remembered my manners and knelt.
“I am sorry, lady, for my rudeness,” I said, though I wasn’t sorry really if I’m honest. All this really was getting a bit much! “Before I decide, may I ask a question?”
“Ask,” The lady looked enigmatical. “I will answer if I may.”
“Did my bondmate pass the test?”
I had really surprised her. Braan drew in his breath as if I had uttered some kind of disgusting swear word.
“How shall races ever unite unless there be trust?” the lady was looking at me and she suddenly looked as if all the sadness of the whole world lay on her. “We are a different people, Bertalius Alfardan, an older people, we ride the air and hear the music of the stars but we are under threat like you, like all the Seelie races. We help all who come to us, asking only that they trust us enough to lay aside their fears and predjudice. They must take the test. You must take the test if you wish to come and go freely in Annwn. Whether another passed or failed is not to the purpose. Think well, Bertalius Alfardan. Do you wish to take it?”
I knelt there, staring at the grass for a moment, thinking hard. Fears and predjudice just about summed it up didn’t it? Yes, all this was really spooking me. These frail little people with the scary fluttering membrane under the arms, the archaic way they talked, all flowery and unearthly as if this was a book and not real life at all. I really didn’t want Tealy to live here, holed up inside a mountain with the Tylwyth Teg instead of in the Elfhold with her own people. Then I remembered my sister’s voice: “Disgustin’ Elf!” If I went on like that wasn’t’ I behaving just as badly as she had? And wasn’t what I wanted really unimportant? Tealy was proposing to give up her whole life in Elfhold to come here. Her home, job, everything she had ever known, and she was happy about it, you couldn’t mistake the look on her face. If she was happy then I had no reason to spoil that for her.
I raised my eyes and looked directly at the lady. Her huge black eyes seemed to be boring holes right through me.
“Yes,” I said. My voice was almost a whisper but my eyes never wavered. “I will take the test.”
The lady held out her hand to me as if to shake hands in the human fashion. Without even thinking I put my hand into hers and then reeled back in complete shock. She was there, she was inside me, it was an invasion more complete than the deepest mind meld ever performed at Shana-Sherin. Nothing was hidden from her, not my most private thought, not my deepest untold secret, not my most cherished feelings. I struggled, trying to get away. Tears of pain and fear poured down my face.

“Trust me. I will not harm you.” The voice was soft, calming, I stopped struggling for a moment and then, with absolute amazement, realized that I could see her too. Trust went both ways it seemed.

How long I knelt there with the Lady of Evermay’s hand in mine I really cannot say, it could have been minutes or hours. I don’t think I’ll ever have a stranger experience. I saw bits of my past replayed, got to see it through her eyes, that was a weird feeling I’m here to tell you! Seeing that car coming right for me when I wasn’t directly in its path and mentally yelling at myself to get out of its way felt very odd indeed! Watching as Brian, L, Hinky and Tealy all tried to do their best to bring me around from my coma. Actually seeing myself with all those tubes and wires, stars! Then seeing what happened when i woke up, beeing detached from it and watching. Yes, it was all very strange indeed. Some of it was heartbreaking too, having to relive that fire serpent coming out of Siennella’s hand and hitting Mella, just ouch! Watching all the times I’d done silly things, upset Tealy or Brian and L. It certainly made me think.

But the strangest thing was that all the time scenes from my life were being replayed I was seeing other things too. I saw a people not just grafting to survive like we leps did but being positively hunted, I saw how the lady had worked for years I couldn’t even try to calculate to bring unity to the people living in that mountain. I relived with her times when she had traveled to Elfholds, lep colonies, gnoming halls and other places where the Seelie lived all over Britain, offering the help of the fairy and asking only for openness and friendship between races. She had at best received cold politeness. At worst been treated with hostility and even contempt. I saw her fear that time was growing short for her, I felt her physical frailty. I saw through her eyes her perception of the races, leprechauns foraging and salvaging, working hard to put food on the table every day and not worrying about much else. Gnomes loving the land, dwarves needing to mine for metals and stones, elves, beautiful, sophisticated, rich in magic they would not share. , Pixies and brownies hunted almost to extinction but the most agile of mind of all the seelie. Each race with their own magic and something to share, yet none of them wanting to mix nor help each other. Finally I felt an equal amount of enormous sadness and enormous determination. Perhaps things could not be changed but there would be one place where the races could be free, share freely, mix freely. I nodded my head and the lady let go my hand. I understood, I finally understood about Annwn and why Tealy wanted to be here, why she was so excited. This was one place where she and I could truly be accepted for who we were. This was also a place where Tealy could perhaps make a real difference. I had no right to deny her that. No right at all.

I suddenly felt so tired I wanted to sleep for a year. With a huge effort I lifted my head and met the lady’s steady gaze. She was smiling softly at me.

“You have done well, Bertalius,” she said. “The Hand has touched you. Kind heart and courageous spirit live in you, Hand’sFriend. Be free in Annwn and always remember that freedom in Annwn for you means protection for those whom you protect. You may well need it one day if the stars tell me true.”

I tried to say something, to thank her, but my vision seemed to be blurring. The scent of the flowers was too heavy, too sweet, it was making me dizzy! I thought I felt her hand touch my head, a beautiful blue butterfly landed on the pure white silk of her gown, I saw in sharp detail how the iridescent blue stood out on the field of snowy silk, then I seemed to be falling into a pool of soft, deep pink clouds.

I woke up and blinked. I was lying on the sofa in my closet. My cap and coat were on the floor beside me. I felt a bit dazed but otherwise fine. Well, all that checked out but where in the blue typhoon was Tealy! I leapt off the sofa and rushed to the door, filled my lungs and was just about to yell her name when the handle turned under my hand.

In walked my beautiful girl wearing a beautiful kitten soft sweater the colour of a spring morning, all soft greens, greys, cinnamons and hints of peachy pink. She wore slim black tailred trousers and very elegant little black boots. Her hair scrunchies matched her sweater and she wore slim gold bangles. She was just shrugging into a butter soft black leather jacket.

“Wow! That’s certainly a change,” I stuttered.

“Darling!” She gave me a very odd look. “You didn’t think I’d go to see your family dressed in hiking gear?” She suddenly looked uncertain. “I’m assuming it went ok? You do remember where we went this morning?”

“Yes, I do, Zaeahaana,” I said, smoothing a strand of hair off her face. “Listen, Tealy, just sit down a second, I really do need to talk to you before we leave.”

She perched on the arm of the sofa looking mutinous.

“Bert, I know what you’re going to say,” she began, “Annwn isn’t Elfhold, I move in there and goodbye to posh home, posh job, posh lifestyle, blah blah…”

“No, actually I wasn’t going to say that, not anymore, but just suppose I was.” I said. “It is a very long way from Elfhold. Why do you want to go there so badly? What would you do there?”

Tealy’s whole face seemed to light up from the inside. She jumped off the sofa and took hold of both my hands.

“Don’t you understand, zaea? No burocracy, no need to know, no don’t ask don’t tell! You have no idea what it’s like to live with that day after day, weekk after week, it saps you. Oh sure we have beauty, luxury, technology, sophistication, but we pay for it, we work led hard for it and for what, for who? I want to go home after working a twelve hour day and know that my work has at least made some kind of difference, or at least is a drop of water on a stone!”

The lights suddenly came on in my brain. The lady had been trying to give me clues all along. I pulled Tealy on to my lap.

“You’re going to work as an envoy for the lady?”

“Good gold no!” Tealy tweaked my nose. “Envoys who travel around to possibly hostile places aren’t pipsqueak newbies like me! I’m going to work in the Seelie races outreach department of Annwn. Make contacts, gather information, it might involve undercover work and I know all about that, Zaea.”

“But where will you live? You’ll hate grubbing about in a cave.”

“Grubbing about in a…” she burst into a peel of giggles and punched my shoulder. Quite hard actually.

“Ball barings, Bert, how desperate do you think I am? Nothing would induce me to, what did you call it? Grub about in a cave! I shall live in the elfin community. Of course it won’t be what I’m used to but that’s quite all right. In some ways it’ll be better, it’s really awfully pretty, you’ll see. The lady only has a couple of hundred elves and most of those aren’t what you might call in the first flush of youth. They all do important work because of their magic. The lady has been crying out for some young elves, she really needs them. I know a few who might like to get out from under, that poor wretched Ketzi for one. Yes, Zaea, you can stop worrying, it’s all going to be fine, I promise you.”

I can’t say I felt one hundred per cent brilliant about the move. Oh yes, I understood it, would not say anything against it, but if I said I had no reservations I would not be telling the truth. I decided to say no more for the moment though in the face of my girl’s obvious happiness.

“When will you move in, zaea,” I asked.

Tealy’s face clouded over.

“That is the only annoying thing. If I had my way I would be moving next week, tomorrow, today even! But they won’t let me. They say I have to have an acclimatization period to make sure I know my mind, and, Bert, this is the worst! They are making me wait three whole mercury months!”

Relief flooded me.

“Well, we’ll all have plenty of time to get used to things by then, won’t we?” I said.

“Yes, I suppose so, and there will be a lot to do. I will be allowed to visit once a week, explore the place, I’ll be allocated a home etc. You’ll come with me on the visits, won’t you Zaeahaan?”

I hugged her.

“Of course I will.” I said. “You’ve come with me to the colony loads of times, so I’ll be with you all the way at Annwn.”

There was a pause there for a while, it’s a bit hard to talk coherently when the most gorgeous elf in the world is doing her best to kiss you to death. After a minute she said:

“Talking of the colony we had better get moving. I told your Mum and Dad we might be a few minutes late so they won’t worry, all the same it’s time we were there.”

A few minutes late, she says? I looked at my watch, wondering if Mum and Dad would have had lunch yet. WE had been in Annwn for what felt like half the day. It was a quarter past ten. For a moment I gawped, then I gave up, put on my coat and cap, took Tealy’s hand and zapped off towards London, home, warm cockny voices and a waiting pair of beautiful Irish eyes.

The sun was doing its best to push through grey clouds as we arrived in the zapping bushes outside the colony but it was freezing cold. We were waved inside by a couple of guards who were muffled to the ears and stamping to keep warm. No sooner had I got through the doors than I was off, hurtling down the thoroughfare, elbowing leps out of the way, making for Mum and Dad’s cube as fast as I could. Now that I was so close it almost felt as if Cassie was pulling me towards her and I just could not wait to get to her. As we got closer I moved faster and I reached Mum and Dad’s at a dead run. I burst through the curtain, scorched over to Cassie’s tiny swinging chair and the next minute she was in my arms.

“Well fank the stars!” That was Dad’s voice. “That youngling’s been impossible since we woke up. Maybe now we’ll get some peace. An’ good mornin’ to you, our Bert. Yeah, everyone’s fine, fanks for askin’!”

He was smiling his big, slow smile as he said this. He knew quite well that most of my consciousness was atuned to the warm bundle in my arms, to her gummy smile and the look in those incredible eyes.

Well we got ourselves straight in the end. Tealy arrived a couple of minutes later than me, I had left her far behind in my helter skelter run down the thoroughfare. We took our coats off and sat down. I got to feed Cassie while we all caught up on the news. I won’t go into all that, it mostly washed over me. One thing Mum said did make me prick up my ears though. It happened as I was laying Cassie in her crib and settling her to sleep. Tealy had been remarking that Cassie had grown a bit, even in the last couple of weeks.

“True enough,” Mum said. “Bert, do you fink you can get some time this week to come ‘ere so that you can go to the And ‘old an’ arrange fings? It’s time we started finking’ about the namin’ ceremony.”

I suppose it should have occurred to me but it hadn’t. I was really startled. The last ceremony I had been to was PattiAnne’s, that had been a huge affair with every single member of the family in attendance. I had known Cassie would have to have some kind of ceremony, she needed to be introduced into the colony, endowed with the helping hand, given her status. I had always supposed it would be done quietly, without fuss.

“Mum,” I said. “Are you telling me you want a full family naming ceremony for Cassie?”

Mum gave me an odd look.

“What was you finkin’ would ‘appen? Ain’t she just like anyone else?”

“Well yes and no,” I said. “She’s under my protection but that’s not quite the same thing is it? I thought you’d want to do things quietly and…”

“Over my dead body!” Mum pointed her wooden spoon at me as if it were a gun.

“We told you. Cassie’s family an’ that’s what matters. I don’t care if she is im-zaan, I don’t care whevver she comes from the Old Country or from the moon. She’s imprinted on you, son, and she’s a part of you which makes her my grandling an’ she’s family. She’ll have a proper family namin’ ceremony or I’ll wanna know the reason why!”

“There’ll be trouble over this, LilyBella,” That was Tealy. She looked worried. “I don’t really know why I think that, but from a few things I’ve picked up on the Facebook news feeds I can tell you that not everyone is overjoyed that Bert has taken Cassie under his protection and they don’t like it either that she is living here with you. It’s staying under wraps for now because Bert is helping all he can, Cassie’s keeping a very low profile and nobody has any excuse to complain. But you just try bringing this whole thing out in the open and mark my words, you will stir up a hornet’s nest. You could split the whole family.”

“I ‘ear what you’re sayin’ girl,” Dad looked very thoughtful. “But Lil’s right. Cassie’s either family or she ain’t, we can’t do fings by halves. If she’s family then she ‘as a proper ceremony like every family member always ‘as. I reckon you’re right about there bein’ trouble too, we’ve wevvered these storms before. Trouble ain’t no excuse for not doin’ the right fing for the youngling and for all of us.”

My eyes stung with sudden tears and I leant over the crib to hide them. I was overwhelmed with a rush of feeling for my parents. They hadn’t had to take on Cassie at their time of life but they’d done it for me and for her. They’d known very well that it would not be easy and they were ready for whatever would happen. They were wise and staunch, loyal and just good to the core! I was so lucky to have them!

We spent most of that day at Mum and Dad’s. It was very cold in the colony and I really didn’t feel like making the rounds. A few people popped in to see us, mostly leplings. Mum and I talked about what date might be best to have the naming ceremony on. It was difficult to place it as we had no date of birth for Cassie. I thought back, trying to remember the date I had found her. March 11 that had been, we would make that her birthday pro tem. That meant the naming ceremony should really be on April 11. eep! Hardly any time to organize anything. I chewed it over with Mum and we settled on April 14 instead, it gave us an extra few days, put the ceremony on a Sunday which meant, with luck, I could be at the colony for the weekend to help get things ready. I told Mum I would see the Handholder during the week and arrange it.

I was back at the Lair well in time to get ready for Down for Double. It was getting harder and harder to leave but I knew it had to be done. Tealy had given me a massive hug out by the bushes before we had zapped our separate ways.

“Fasten your seatbelt,” she said. “You’re in for a very bumpy week if I know anything about your family.”

“Oh it won’t be that bad, surely.” I had said. Tealy had given me a very hard look from her huge aqua eyes.

“I’m telling you, Bert. Neither you or your parents realize it yet but there is going to be blood and mercury to pay over this.”

Down for Double was its usual mad self, it was a lovely fun show actually and we were all ready for some food, nice music, a glass of wine and a relax afterwards. I had a lot to tell Brian and L and it was late before I finally hit my yawning bed.

The next morning I awoke to see my usual little Monday morning scroll. I sincerely hoped for more cheerful news in it this week.

“Dear Uncle Bert.”

“I hope you are in good health and that the helping hand is serving you well. I am in good health and have received a good report this week.”

“Uncle Bert humans is so stupid. Madam prim is teaching us how to make a special cake for this Easter thing and we has to put these horrible yellow birds and little rabbits on it made of that nasty choclat stuff an it ruins the yummy cake. Why does they want rabbits an birds, uncle? Everyone knows rabbits eats all the food so we can’t find none an birds leaves their cleansings all over the place, you shouldn’t have thems on a cake!”

“May the sun turn your skin green an little pink flowers grow out of your head! If they wants to give me a mark, boo to em!”

“Love an kisses Babsy.”

Oh that little monky! I tried to write something serious back, explaining the customs of Easter, but I ended up crossing it out, giggling and joking with her instead. What would Mondays be without that scroll from the dear little niece who brightens my day so much?

Well the rest of Monday was very uneventful. I did a lot of housework, worked with Brian when he needed me, sat with L who was and is still very under the weather, answered Emails and generally pottered about. All was quiet on the family front with no special news of any kind.

The first inkling I had that the cleansings were about to hit the purifier was an Email from my sister Tulia. Tuli is the mother of pattiAnne, among others, I get on all right with her and Shay but we have never been what you might call close. Relations between us became even more strained about the time of Derry’s long illness last year when she asked for a FeedMe spell from Tealy when she absolutely did not need one. Since then we’ve been formally polite to each other at family gatherings but I’ve got her number and she knows I have.

Anyway, on Tuesday morning I was going through my usual early routine. I had perfectly nice normal Emails from Mum and Mella, a few paragraphs of news and a pile of junk from Hinky and then I saw this one from Tuli.

“Hello, Bert, I just thought I would drop a line to see if you are ok, we haven’t seen you for ages. I popped in on Mum yesterday, she is looking very tired these days I really hope she hasn’t taken on too much. That’s the trouble with Mum, she’d do anything for anybody, never did know when to say no. She has some crazy idea about having a full family naming ceremony for this Im-Zaan she’s had foisted on her, I do hope you’ve put a stop to it. Apart from the fact that it would be quite unfitting, Mum really could do without having to organize this as well as everything else she is having to do.”

“Well I suppose I had better get on, the lings are driving me insane these days, they are getting bigger and greedier every day as you’d know if you ever bothered to call in here when you visit with Tealy. You should come over, we’d love to see you both.”

“Tulia.”

I stared in absolute gawping amazement turning to rage. The cheek, the nerve, the… words failed me. I pressed delete so hard I nearly bored a hole through poor Imogen. I didn’t want anyone else to see that. Then I texted Tealy.

“You were right about blood and mercury. I think it is starting.”

I went into the den to get breakfast and have a talk to Brian and L. I had explained on Sunday about my talk with Mum and Dad, also exactly what Tealy had said about the naming ceremony causing a lot of trouble in the family. Now I told them about the Email from Tulia.

“If I know anything,” I said, “this will just be the first drop in the ocean. I think people like Mella, Tovey and Lina, Ikey and Vee will be on my side, but Tuli and Shay have their own little clique and they will be very vocal about this whole thing. Then there are the ones I’m not that close to, I don’t know which way they’ll jump.”

L stirred her coffee thoughtfully.

“What are you going to do, sweetie? She asked. “You’re not going to give in to them, are you?”

“As if!” I patted her hand. “No, what I’d really like to do is go home today, as soon as I’ve finished clearing up here. I’d like to see the Handholder, set the date, then talk to Mum and get all the arrangements made so the whole thing is set in stone. Then we’ll sit back, batton down the hatches and weather the storm as best we can, there won’t be anything anyone can do, the naming ceremony will go ahead.”

Brian gave me an approving smile.

“That’s very sensible,” he said. “I need you to help me this morning but after that you can go home and stay for as long as you need to.”

Brian and I did a good morning’s hard work and thus it happened that, long before mid-day, I was putting on my coat and cap and setting out for the colony. Once there I felt immediately the pull of Cassie’s imprint drawing me towards her but with an effort I ignored it, I had things to do. I walked soberly down the thoroughfare, noticing that I was collecting some very odd and sometimes unfriendly looks. Here we go, I thought, you can keep nothing private in a lep colony and word about Cassie had long got out. While she had been kept out of the way, an Im-Zaan with no status at all, nobody had cared one way or the other, but now that I was proposing she be given full family status? Oh no, that would never do! I curled my lip, it was going to happen and these stupid leps would have to get used to it!

I arrived at the back wall of the colony and asked the young Hander outside the Handhold for an audience with the Holder. I had to wait for quite some time but iventually I was ushered inside.

There was the stark white table with its heavy crystal box. There were the ranks of seats, folded flat in their frames, climbing almost to the ceiling. And there, sitting on a simple white chair behind the table, clad in her white robe with its golden girdle, was the Handholder. She rose, came around the table and down the length of the hold towards me. Old and stooped she was but her movements were light and graceful. She took my hands in hers and I caught the full beam of her bright sapphire eyes.

“Welcome, Bert!” she said, giving me her lovely smile. “I thought I would be seeing you soon. Come, sit here with me, tell me all about the youngling you have taken into your protection.”

A hander brought me a chair and I sat across the table from the handholder. I told her the whole story of Cassie from my finding her in the rain to her stay at the lair right down to Mum’s explanation of why I had such a strong connection to her. At the end the Handholder looked very thoughtful.

“It never occurred to you, I suppose, that what was done once could be done again?” she said gently.

“what do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean,” she said, looking at me hard, “That if you wish it I could remove the imprint. The Handhold could take her into its protection, she would no longer be your problem.”

I did not even think, I shook my head firmly.

“Think well, Bert,” said the lady. “It would not be easy but it could be done now, another week or two and the youngling will have grown too old, the imprint is set. Are you sure?”

I tried to think dispassionately which was next to impossible with Cassie so close, pulling me towards her. If the Handholder removed the imprint Mum and Dad would be spared a lot of trouble, the famly would be happy, my life would go back to normal, everyone would win but… I just couldn’t do it. Apart from my own feelings I just knew Cassie would lose out by it. Being brought up in a close, loving family was the right thing for her. The Handers knew nothing about family life, all their minds were given to serving the Hand. She could not hope to have any kind of normal life, it would just be wrong.

Yes,” I said. “I am sure. Whatever happens, Cassie is my responsibility now. I know what is best for her. It is best that she grows up as part of my family.”

The handholder gave me a dazzling smile.

“Well done, Bert,” she said. “The imprint is true and strong. When do you wish to hold the naming ceremony?”

We talked more after that but it was all business, arranging the exact date and time of the ceremony. It was a wonderful thing to know that I had the support of one of the most important leps in the whole colony. No one could take that away. When I finally left I felt proof against all the odd looks, the whispers behind hands. I no longer cared what anyone said or thought.

I headed for Mum and Dad’s. Cassie knew I was close and was pulling like anything. I didn’t resist this time. Before very long I was sitting in my favourite chair with my princess cradled in my lap, telling Mum and Dad everything that had happened, beginning with Tuli’s Email and ending with my visit to the Handhold.

“Hmmm,” Dad was poking green stalks into a boiling Zair brew. “Looks like Tealy was right. Sensible girl that. Ah well, Lil, look out for squalls an’ for stars’ sake try to keep calm. Weepin’ an wailin’ never did no one no good an’ it’ll upset the youngling.”

I had to admit there was a lot in that. I stayed a couple of hours with Mum and Dad. I didn’t really need to but the temptation to linger and be with Cass was just too strong to resist.

I headed for the Lair about four and got back well in time to help with the last of the day’s work and cooka nice dinner. After that we spent a cosy evening together while I caught Brian and L up on what had happened at the colony. They were both pleased with the way things were turning out and glad that the naming ceremony was going ahead. I went to bed feeling pleased with life in general and full of contentment.

That feeling was absolutely shattered the next morning. I was awoken by my phone ringing beside my head. I answered it blearily. It was Tealy, sounding very shaken.

“Darling,” she said. “Don’t look at your Facebook this morning. Actually I’d keep right away from the computer altogether.”

“Why?” I was still half asleep. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s erupted, I knew it would.” She was close to tears. “Please don’t read it, it’s worse than I thought it would be. I really must go, I’ll be late. Don’t look at it, Bert.”

I showered and got dressed sombrely, thinking about what Tealy had said. In the end I booted up Imogen iPad and logged on. In the end, I thought, it is always better to know the truth.

It was just as bad as Tealy had told me. Tulia had started it of course, her clique were all with her, but what hurt the worst were members of my family who I really liked joining in with the feeding frenzy. Gwenice who I had helped to nurse when she was ill. Nile and Netta who I’d never had any problems with. Laralita, my youngest sister who I’d always had a perfectly good relationship with. Then came the worst blow of all. Derry had put in his two grains. Derry, one of my best friends, husband of my favourite sister! Derry who I’d helped so much, who Tealy had helped so much. We’d almost been like brothers! Derry had turned against me and I couldn’t believe it.

What they were saying was really no more than I had expected. I did not mind what they said about me, I had heard it before, it came up any time I displeased the family. Bert was just a useless book swat who had swanned off for twenty years, thought he was too good for everyone and now that he was back Mum and Dad thought the sun shone out of his ears and would do anything he asked them to, that was the gist of it. There was more, remarks about my dress, my friends, my relationship with Tealy, all nasty and hurtful enough but that was not the worst. The worst was what they said about Cassie. They said I had made it up about her being from the Old Country, that she had probably been born in a ditch somewhere and I would know where if anyone did, didn’t’ she have a look of me? Those eyes would probably go green when she got older and she certainly had my ears! Of course I wanted to take her into my family, they said, guilt, that was all it was, Mr goody Bert had to pay for his little slip up. Poor Mum and Dad, they said, Bert had fooled them properly. Taking in an im-Zaan was bad enough but they’d see. They were all going to be saddled with a Zlan-Glart, bad-blood, in the family and it would bring nothing but bad luck.

I don’t know what time it was when L found me, it must have been long past breakfast. I was huddled on the floor with my arms around my knees, staring at my iPad through the tears of hurt, rage and misery that poured down my face. L asked me what was wrong and I tried to answer but all that came out was a kind of squeak.

Before I knew what was happening I had been lifted into L’s lap. She extracted the story from me in broken bits.

“Bert, I know this feels awful but you have to listen to me now.”

L’s voice was firm and I sat up, wiped my face and tried to pull myself together.

“You’re here and this feels bad for you. Alfard and LilyBella are in the colony and seeing all this stuff. Well, LilyBella is, she reads Facebook every day like you do. Just imagine how they’re feeling. You know how upset your Mum can get. You can’t afford to fall to bits now. You have to be strong for everyone, for your Mum and Dad and for Cassie, they’re all going to need you. Wait here, I’m going to talk to B.”

She was gone for a few minutes, then she came back and handed me my coat and cap.

“Off you go,” she said, “go on home and be with them. Mend any fences you can. We’ll see you later.”

Before many minutes had passed I was standing outside Mum and Dad’s cube. The heavy outer curtain had been augmented with a thick sheet of heavy duty polythene. Its message was plain to read, no visitors wanted today. I moved the curtain hesitantly and at once heard Dad’s voice, loud and sharp.

“Who’s that?”

“Dad, it’s me, Bert.”

“Stars, son!” Dad pulled back the two curtains, yanked me inside double quick and closed them again. “What the blue typhoon are you doin’ ‘ere? Don’t you know what’s ‘appened? It’s like goblin wars all over again ‘ere, we dursn’t show our zlendt noses outside.”

I walked into the cube. Mum was sitting in a chair holding Cassie who was asleep. Mum looked white and tired.

“You seen Facebook today, son?” she asked listlessly. “Cos don’t. I’d never ‘ave believed it of me own flesh an’ blood!”

I went over to Mum, put my arms around her and Cassie.

“Of course I’ve seen it.” I said. “that’s why I’m here.” I gave Mum a straight look. “You don’t believe what they’re saying, do you, Mum? She isn’t zlan-glart. I’d have told you if she was.”

I just want to pause for one second here. You may be thinking that an accusation of fathering a child outside marriage is not much to get het up over. Ah, but this is the lep world. In the lep world it practically never happens. To not know your origins or to be an orphan, to be im-zaan like Cassie is bad enough, but to be zlan-glart? Well, the very meaning of the name, bad blood, tells you that the lep is worse than an outcast. For my famly to insinuate that I was trying to cover up something of that kind was more than hurtful. I hope, In fact I know I’m not capable of doing something that dishonourable. I make mistakes, hand knows, but I hope I always have the strength of character to face up to them.

“For stars’ sake!” Dad sounded exasperated. “We know she ain’t Zlan-Glart, idiot boy! The council knows it, the And ‘older knows it. If ‘alf the family don’t choose to believe it that’s their lookout ain’t it?”

“then why are you cooped up in here as if you’re under siege?” I asked. “Hiding isn’t going to help anyone. The best thing is to go about your business with your heads held high.”

“I don’t want them zlorgs upsettin’ your Mum,” growled Dad.

“Our Bert’s right, Alfie.” Mum stood up, took down the sheet of polythene and looped back the curtain in the way it usually stood during the day. “We ain’t got nuffin to ‘ide. If any zlorgs come I’ll give back as good as they send, you just wait!”

I stayed with them for most of the day, the cube stayed ready for visitors but no one came, not even the usual stream of grandlings. I went home to the Lair feeling tired and depressed and with my head spinning. Cassie had been very fractious all afternoon and I had had my hands full with her. I was longing for some quiet.

I zapped in my closet,hung up my coat and cap, turned and gaped. There was Tealy, sitting calmly on my sofa in a bright red suit and long black boots, her red and gold scrunchies and clattering gold bangles.

“L texted me,” she said. “Said you might be able to use a little moral support.”

The rest of that evening was a joy. I was not allowed to do any work, Tealy cooked us a lovely dinner and afterwards, when I had caught her up on the news from home, we just curled up together and watched TV, for which Tealy has a passion.

On Wednesday and Thursday nothing got any better nor worse. Mum wrote me every day to let me know that Cassie was ok, told me that she and Dad were getting the cold shoulder from practically everyone except for a few of the family and that I was not to worry about it. I ignored her, worried a lot, tried to distract myself with work for Brian and looking after L who was having a lot of bad Migraines.

Friday began in the usual way. I went through the routine, logged on to Facebook, most of the nastiness had simmered down but it was still rumbling underneath, there were a lot of snide comments. Unfortunately no one else was giving the family much else to talk about.

I had a few Emails, the usual one from Mum, no change much on any point. A very strained one from Mella, a pile of junk from Hinky. I dealt quickly with it all, got breakfast, cleared away, did some work with Brian, then had a snack with L and began to write this journal entry.

I stopped to make lunch, it had taken me a long time to write down all our doings in Annwn with the Tylwyth Teg and I was hungry. I was just pouring out a second cup of tea when I suddenly felt a tremendous jerk, that’s the only way I can describe it. It was as if a red emergency light flicked on inside my brain. I didn’t think, didn’t annalyze. I put the teapot down and turned wildly to Brian.

“Permission to leave, quickly!” I shouted.

“What…”

“Cassie! She’s in danger. I need to go.”

“permission…” Brian began and I was gone before he had finished the sentence.

I zapped straight into the colony. I knew exactly where Cassie was, her danger signal was pulling so hard I could barely think. I zapped in beside the pump and immediately saw Mum. She was slumped in a heap on the ground. Around her a group of young males were jostling, a shower of stones falling from their hands. Mum might be unconscious, I didn’t know, she was trying to protect Cassie with her body.

“Zlan-Glart!” the boys were shouting, “Zlan-Glart! We don’t want no Zlan-Glarts ‘ere!”

I stood for a second, not knowing what to do. I have to protect them, I thought, help me! I didn’t know who I was talking to, but almost at once I seemed to feel the sun on my face and smell flowers.

“You can protect them.” A calm voice spoke softly in my mind. “Trust me.”

I raised my hands.

“Stop it!” The falling stones stopped and hovered in the air. The boys who held stones suddenly yelped and dropped them.

“This youngling is not Zlan-Glart,” I said quietly. “She is Cassidyanne Imzaanna, a youngling from the Old Country. You should be ashamed to attack those who cannot fight back. Go away and leave us in peace.”

I dropped my hands. The stones hovering in the air fell and the young leps ran away. My Mum got to her feet, brushed herself down and lifted Cassie from the ground where she had been lying.

“Stars, Bert,” she said. “That was scary!”

“I know it was.” I put my arm through Mum’s. “Come on home. Thank the moon for the imprint! You said I’d always know when Cass was in danger. It must have been terrifying having so many idiots throwing things at you.”

“No, I don’t mean that,” Mum gave me a strange look. “I mean when you did that funny fing an’ made it all stop. I never seen a freezin’ spell like that afore, an’ when them zlorgs dropped the stones they was red. Like as if they was ‘ot.” Then you kind of looked funny, all bright an’ shiny an’ your voice got bigger. It was weird! ‘ow’d you do it?”

“Dunno,” I mumbled, but I had an idea about it, an idea I did not altogether like. The fairy folk of Annwn did not give anything for nothing, so it was said. If they helped you, then you owed them. It seemed I had a connection with the lady of Evermay that she could use whenever she wanted to. I had forged it solely to help Tealy, but it might have ramifications I could not have foreseen.

I did not stay long in the colony once I had Mum and Cassie settled, I was needed back at the Lair. I was soon back there and the rest of the day passed busily and uneventfully.

Yesterday was its usual completely hectic self. I hardly had time to look at my computer which was something of a blessing. The family had got to hear about Mum’s fraccas down by the pump and of my rescue. It was thought that everything was my fault, that I was putting her at unnecessary risk and that she should be relieved of the care of Cassie immediately. Several of the family, including Tulia, had tried to talk to her on the subject, I gathered, but Mum would not listen.

I worked hard all day, then we had dinner and a glass of wine. I was so tired I did not stay long for music and catch up, I so needed sleep.

And so we come to today and I can now wish you all a happy Easter! I awoke this morning to two huge boxes on my bed. They each contained a thing called an Ostrich Egg. A milk one from Brian and L and a dark one from Tealy. The ostrich egg weighs about two pounds. The thick chocolate is studdied with puffed rice, cookie pieces and white chocolate pieces in the milk one’s case, and delicious cocoa nibbs in the dark chocolate one. Inside each is a perfectly luscious selection of chocolates. I have seen these things on the posh website Brian and L like and I know exactly how much of a spoilt lep I am. I put the two huge boxes into my wardrobe, got up and went on with my day.

When I booted up my computer I had a surprise. There was a mail from Tealy. She told me that there was some kind of kerfuffle at Elfhold, not a Black Diamond or anything, but that she would have to work today. She could, however, get tomorrow off so could we meet then instead. I told her there should not be a problem as Brian had the day off work and anyway I really needed to get this journal entry finished. I said I would let her know. I did a quick check of my other mail and Facebook but nothing else had changed except for a couple of lovely Emails, one from Mella and one from Ikey and Vee. I also had a very odd little message from Kori.
“Old oak tree don’t sway in the wind, keeps the bluebird safe from the storm till she can soar into the sky. I can see tortoise is still plodding up that hill, they say hey look at that lump of jet on his shell, ugly! Never you mind, one day they’ll see it’s an emerald, shining bright!”

Honestly, I thought, going into the den to make the pancakes for breakfast. Kori and her second sight! Who could fathom a woodsprite!

It has been a lovely day. L liked her white chocolate Easter egg and Brian liked the dark one I got for him. We had coffee and breakfast, I fixed it with them about tomorrow and then I got down to serious work. Now I am just about to finish, then I will cook some dinner and it will be time to get ready for Down for Double.

And there you are, all up to date. I do hope you have had a lovely day with lots of nice chocolate. Thanks so much for reading my rambles. I will be back again with more news as soon as I have anything worth writing. In the meantime I think it is time to open one of my eggs, now which shall it be? See you soon!

Big smiles.